The loving presence Darlene Fritz Life is moving too fast. Past events are fading. With only a few fond memories remaining, happiness is like a rare gem - very seldom encountered. I cannot go on living, knowing that I am neither wanted nor needed. I always dreaded the thought of old age when I was young. Now it is here. Now I am faced with the problem of living and lingering from day to day. Sadly, too, I realize that I do not have a purpose for living. Why am I permitted to do so? Why take the young from the arena of life and leave the old to go on living for no apparent reason? So many questions run through my mind as I sit alone. My loved ones come home at the end of day. I eagerly await their arrival. .But in my heart I feel they do not return this feeling . 7 . of anticipation. I The lady they have hired to care for me 5? . . cannot hide her feelings of tolerance and indifference toward me either. I know that she does not care for the job but it supplements her income. BUt then, how can one blame her? She should not be expected to have any feelings for what she sees. To her, I am an old, withered, and wasted being with personahtY- Can anyone have much personality with only partial movement and SPEECh? She naturally has a tendency to question my intelligence. After 311, I do not have many ways of displaying that I have ?DY- f , DlngSt may be built upon this alone. I Now is the time or the children to come home. I can hear their footsteps on the porch, them laughter, and the noise of books and coats being put away and .thljown on chairs. They enter the living room where I SH and 5111 30m m with a greeting of ttHi, Grandma? then go to their . chores and amusements. I God let me dle so I W111 no longer inconvenience the ones I love so very muCh- I She is gone! Every day we just knew she would be sitting there by the Window as she did for so many days. So mllC t a . . of the time people put off expresslng . as their feelings until its too late. We were no exceptlon' Although she could not communicate with VVOrdS,-S.he had more expression and ability to converse with her eyes than an the language spoken during a lifetime- Happiness was her most outstanding expression. It seemed to affect us all. We were happy when she was. We realize nOW that this was not enough I Her main purpose 11636 Was her loving presence, which we now so deeply 111135-
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