Bethel University - Spire Yearbook (St Paul, MN)

Page 7 text:

so overwhelmed with the basic assignments. Is there a balance between those people I'd like to know and the five Psych, chapters I have to know? There’s so much freedom... I can do anything! No one is going to make me get up for my 8:00 class. I'd like to be everyone’s friend and have a super time . . . only one thing stands in my way. Along with the freedom comes added responsibility. I’m expected to show up in FA313 at 12:30. and finish a paper by Thursday ... I do feel pressure to study; isn't that what I pay for? But... the decisions are up to me! Me. Me again. Is it wrong to be self-centered? I’m just trying to protect myself. I purposely seal myself in books, isolating myself from the very people I long to meet. After all. caring often brings pain, and I don't want to get hurt. With a thousand faces here looking out for themselves as much as I am. I begin to wonder if I want them as friends. Maybe I should give myself a chance. And while I’m at it. maybe I should give them a chance too. It takes time. «o

Page 6 text:

I'm alone now with my memories — memories no one can see. “College will be good for you — you'll really grow up,” someone told me. Right. How can emotional pain and tears help me become a better person? I thought I could easily fit into new social groups; it had come so easily before. I had been out to enjoy college life to its fullest. Until now. Far too much of me remains in the past. I had so much at home — great family, friends, talents . . . where are those things now? Must I be forced to prove myself over and over? The glances here are cold, categorizing. Yet I am no different. My eyes are cold. I build my own brick walls around the secret area labeled “Me. Me, me, me. My priorities are hurting. I have to look out for myself — no one else will. When classes began, I suddenly needed every moment to keep up with the syllabuses. I've been Your freshman year of college is an unforgettable experience I tiled with paradoxes excitement and disappointment, new friends and homesickness, responsibility and overwhelming demands. The experience forces this person to redefine herself as an individual, developing a new perspective on who she is and what she'd like to be. Loneliness... a word I never thought I'd have to learn, is becoming all too real to me. My past doesn’t matter here.

Page 8 text:

Not seeing any familiar faces in the cafeteria today. I sat with a new group of people for lunch. They chattered as if they'd been friends for life. They halfheartedly tried to make me feel more comfortable by using short conversation starters. So. v hat'd you say your name was?” I was a stranger in their clique. I felt helpless, vulnerable to their judgment. Why was I unable to enter their conversation? I felt inferior, inept. Later in the lounge. I found myself with friends from classes and the dorm. How different I felt. I spoke with ease, almost dominating the conversation. Yet I still felt odd. noting an air of superiority in my voice. Did these