Bethel University - Spire Yearbook (St Paul, MN)

Page 10 text:

OSD Days come and go swiftly. It seems I’ve been here for years when it's only been a few months. I expected opportunities to come from all directions, yet grew frustrated with people who had the courage to grab the opportunities before they passed. The people here don’t care about who I was. They want to know who I am now, a person I have yet to show them. Where did my confidence go? I expected God to fill my orders. I know that He opens the doors, but I must step through them. I wonder how many opportunities He’s given to me? I let others take the initiative while I sit, waiting for the right” time. My image of Him has been confused. Realizing my own foolishness, I lower my head. Lord, my confidence is failing ... and my faith in you waivers. I tried to use You for my own benefit, to satisfy my need for friendship. I’m so sorry. Help me to focus on You. Never on me.” I felt myself growing these past few weeks, becoming less and less the me of September, and more the me of tomorrow. Me is no longer the center of my life, but is slowly being replaced by Someone far greater, and more worthy of the position. I can see changes already. I'm surprised at the new person I'm becoming ... a person I would never have dreamed to be. I know I'm not finished — only en route. I wonder what lies ahead. God's courses are never easy for me. There is so much still to be learned and I am so unwilling to be taught. Yet I cannot fear what's ahead. God will teach and guide me and I’ll be able to look back and see the results Today I must live in the present, grasping what I can from each day. collecting the impressions that will become a permanent part of the ever-changing me; laughing and learning, hurting and healing, but always, always me. Si.

Page 12 text:

My minority friends at Bethel encounter unique problems difficult for average students to understand. Forming comfortable interracial relationships is particularly hard. Unfortunately they are often disappointed when their expectations are broken by the reality of their experience. I feel out of place here, there's no way around it. Thinking back on it, I’m not sure what I expected to find here. I had some vague conception of Bethel being a kind of holy haven for saintly people. I always had the hope that the differences between me and other people here would be bridged by our common unity in Christ. But I'm here now and I’m not so sure. Just walking through the halls I can tell the people here aren't used to seeing blacks at Bethel. Some people avoid me deliberately. Some come up and try to talk to me just because I'm different. I can't blend in, I always stick out. Sometimes I wonder, do I really want to stay here badly enough to put up with this?