Bethel University - Spire Yearbook (St Paul, MN)

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THE ACOKN 31 There are meters of accent And meters of tone; But the best of all meters, Is to meet her alone. Gym. Instructor—Have you taken a shower bath? Freshman—Oh no, sir. Is one missing? Cape of Good Hope—Sweet Sixteen. Cape Flattery—Twenty. Cape Lookout—Twenty-five. Cape Fear—Thirty. Cape Farewell—Forty. Teacher. “Who was the tirst man?' Head Scholar. “Washington; he was the first in war, first in—” Teacher. “No. no; Adam was the first man. Head Scholar. “Oh, if you’re talking ot foreigners. I s’pose he was. Irritable schoolmaster. “Now, then, stupid, what’s the next word? What comes after cheese? Dull boy. “A mouse, sir. Miss Lindberg. What is to be done with a bone not in the right place? Oscar Dahlstrom. “You should try to get it back in place again. If you can't do it yourself take it to the doctor. Miss Lindberg. “What relation has the nerve system to the other systems of the body? Miss Witzel. “The relation is the same as the telephone is to the wires.’’ A. J.: “Why didn’t all the Latin people have the same declensions? Ruth S.: “Yes, why didn't they have only one word to stand for everything? Then we wouldn’t have had to study so hard. Ruth L.—“A draft went hurt you unless you get it in the neck.” R. S.— What's that card for? Annie J.— It's for taking notes.” R. S.— What do you want to take notes for when you don't sing. Miss Ruth S.: “O, I wish I knew something! THE GUILTY PARTY. .Judge sternly—To what do you attribute your downfall? Culprit—The first drink that I ever took was the one you bought me when you were trying to get my vote. A PIOUS TASK. Johnny, what are you doing? Johnny—Tryin’ to teach the fish in this here creek what they'll get if they bite on Sunday. As a gentleman passed two colored men who were in the midst of a heated discussion. he overheard these words accompanied by wild gesticulation:—“I did not say ‘Is you ain't,’ I says ‘Is you is.”’ Anna J. in history: “I like Charles XII. Miss L.: “Why? A. J.: “Because he was a Swede. She Is right. Doctor:—“Well, how are you feeling today? Patient-—“I have trouble in getting my breath Doctor:—“Well, we ll soon stop that. Miss Lindberg: “Miss Johnson, ask someone a question about History.’’ A. J.: “I don’t know anything myself.” There are only two “Frank men i Swed. II.

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30 T H 13 A C O R N Teacher to Axel Belstrom, coming to class after roll had been called: “We thot that there was something missing but we could not tell what it was.” H. C. W.—Cordiality is a good word, more the warmth of the heart. Oscar I).—Is love heat then? Prof. A. J. W.—In German II.— Ich liebe dich.” What does that mean? You’ve heard that, have yon not (looking at Miss Ruth Larson). Teacher:—Discuss reflex action. Mr. C. T.—Sitting on a tack. Miss L.—“What is a sulci (a fissure of the brain)? Mr. Skanse—“Space.’’ (Evidently a Junior’s brain is different from other brains.) Why is it that Mr. Crook lias a large shot-gun hanging on- the wall of his room? To keep out the guineas, perhaps. Mr. M. L.—Victor, what is that you have hanging upon your wall? Mr. V. I.—That is a heart that I received down in Elim (after attending a bazaar). Miss Mildred Skcoglun has received a new name, namely, Aun-t Milly. The Acorn congratulates. Mr. C. H. in Phys.—I make a motion that Mr. Erickson procure an eye and a brain. Prof. A. J. W.—A man’s testimony in a murder case will be questioned if he saw the deed thru a window-glass. Mr. O. P.—Will they accept the testimony of a man who wears glasses then? Miss Larson in Physiology—“The eyes seem to be the organ most used.” . Miss Sitona F.—“They are not. The mouth is used just as much.” It has been noticed by the Freshman that Mr. Young is getting gray hair. We wonder why? Is it because of worry over his lessons, worry over the Junior class, or for his future? A new brewery had sprung up in the town and the brewer asked a judge if he had tried his brand. The judge replied:—“No. but I have tried many men that have.” 'readier of Physics:—What is the United States standard in money? Physics Student:—The dollar. Teacher:—Yes, and they divided it up into dimes and cents afterwards so that we would all be able to get some. We realize the truth of this statement: Almost everyone is willing to pose as a total abstainer when it comes to work in (ho spring.” Dr. Kerfoot, of Hamline University, told us in his chapel speech of a steamboat which President Lincoln once spoke or. This steamboat had a six foot whistle and a four foot boiler and every time the boat whistled it would stop. As he told us of this engine we thot of the Juniors, of course! Mr. F. E. E.—You can’t study immediately before a meal as you are too restless. Miss L.—Oh I see, that depends on what you expect for dessert. Miss L.—Mr. Peterson, explain a bruise. Mr. O. P. explains bruise. Miss L.—Oh my! That reminds me or Johnson’s dictionary. Miss S. F.—If I only sleep six hours some night 1 am always cross the whole next day. Miss L.—We would judge by that that you sleep quite a bit.

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T H E A C O K N 32 Religious Notes. When we review the religious work or tlie past school year we feel gratified that it has been with a zealous effort that each student has taken an active part In the work of the Missionary Band. The weekly prayer meetings have been well attended and an enthusiastic spirit has been predominating thruout the entire year. The .Missionary Band has conducted no less than, fourteen meetings during the school year at various Young People Societies of both American and Swedish churches of the Twin Cities. Oscar Peterson has been one of the active members of the Band.. He has held services at Lake Johanna, and lias preached the gospel during the last month once at Sauk Center, and twice at Skan-dia. Herman Anderson has conducted meetings at Albert Lea, and will this summer serve the church at Lake Sara, Minn. Frank Renstrom has accepted a call to the church at Jessie Lake, Minn. At a meeting of tho Student Volunteer Band held May 15, the following officers were elected for 1913—14: Victor Swora, President; Esther Sunfelt, Vice President, and Ellen Gustafson, Secretary. Three of the volunteers will graduate this year, one will leave this Fall for the Philipines, her future place of work. The other two will continue their studies next Fall at some other school. There will still be left at strong group of volunteers and may many more hearken to the Macedonian call Come over here and help vis.” THE AMERICAN BOV'S OPPORTUNITIES. (Continued from page S) means that one can receive an education. There must be application applied to the studies and thereby must the whole of the text or problems be mastered. Not only is application to studies necessary but it is also necessary to get a square deal out of all the other opportunities which are afforded the American Boy during his life. But in order to apply oneself to the opportunities later in life one must learn to apply oneself to the opportunities which are present in early life such as their studies while at school. Men often speak of the fact that they do not get a square deal, but the reason is that they have not applied themselves to their work and the opportunities for doing certain things which have been afforded them. The world is full of opportunities; but they are only beneficial to those men who are willing to grasp and make the best possible use of them. Men who are the most successful in their enterprises today are those who have grasped every chance that has come within their reach and have benefited themselves as well as others. By square deal is meant, getting out of every opportunity the best that it has in store. But one does not always get the best that the occasion has in store because everything that one gets out of anything is exactly equal to that which is put into it in order to receive any benefit or advantage of the opportunity. There are oportunities open to every American boy and if they are grasped and taken hold of in the right way and used to the best interest and advantage, each American boy shall have assured himself a square deal. Fred W. .Johnson—T3.