Bethel University - Spire Yearbook (St Paul, MN)

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30 T H 13 A C O R N Teacher to Axel Belstrom, coming to class after roll had been called: “We thot that there was something missing but we could not tell what it was.” H. C. W.—Cordiality is a good word, more the warmth of the heart. Oscar I).—Is love heat then? Prof. A. J. W.—In German II.— Ich liebe dich.” What does that mean? You’ve heard that, have yon not (looking at Miss Ruth Larson). Teacher:—Discuss reflex action. Mr. C. T.—Sitting on a tack. Miss L.—“What is a sulci (a fissure of the brain)? Mr. Skanse—“Space.’’ (Evidently a Junior’s brain is different from other brains.) Why is it that Mr. Crook lias a large shot-gun hanging on- the wall of his room? To keep out the guineas, perhaps. Mr. M. L.—Victor, what is that you have hanging upon your wall? Mr. V. I.—That is a heart that I received down in Elim (after attending a bazaar). Miss Mildred Skcoglun has received a new name, namely, Aun-t Milly. The Acorn congratulates. Mr. C. H. in Phys.—I make a motion that Mr. Erickson procure an eye and a brain. Prof. A. J. W.—A man’s testimony in a murder case will be questioned if he saw the deed thru a window-glass. Mr. O. P.—Will they accept the testimony of a man who wears glasses then? Miss Larson in Physiology—“The eyes seem to be the organ most used.” . Miss Sitona F.—“They are not. The mouth is used just as much.” It has been noticed by the Freshman that Mr. Young is getting gray hair. We wonder why? Is it because of worry over his lessons, worry over the Junior class, or for his future? A new brewery had sprung up in the town and the brewer asked a judge if he had tried his brand. The judge replied:—“No. but I have tried many men that have.” 'readier of Physics:—What is the United States standard in money? Physics Student:—The dollar. Teacher:—Yes, and they divided it up into dimes and cents afterwards so that we would all be able to get some. We realize the truth of this statement: Almost everyone is willing to pose as a total abstainer when it comes to work in (ho spring.” Dr. Kerfoot, of Hamline University, told us in his chapel speech of a steamboat which President Lincoln once spoke or. This steamboat had a six foot whistle and a four foot boiler and every time the boat whistled it would stop. As he told us of this engine we thot of the Juniors, of course! Mr. F. E. E.—You can’t study immediately before a meal as you are too restless. Miss L.—Oh I see, that depends on what you expect for dessert. Miss L.—Mr. Peterson, explain a bruise. Mr. O. P. explains bruise. Miss L.—Oh my! That reminds me or Johnson’s dictionary. Miss S. F.—If I only sleep six hours some night 1 am always cross the whole next day. Miss L.—We would judge by that that you sleep quite a bit.

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T H E A COR N MD CLASSED. A Freshman, one who is supposed to look up to everybody. A Sophomore, one who tries to be something that he is not. A Junior, one who needs a magnifying glass. A Senior, one who receives his walking papers. There i$ a $mall matter which Some or our $ub$crlber$ have Seemingly forgotten. To u$ it i$ nece?$ary in our bu$ine$$. We are modest and do not wi?h to Speak about it. Miss Sigrid Hedberg declared that to be in love is to be dead. Are we permitted to draw conclusions? Henry Young—Oh I see. A parasite is a living thing that lives on another, and a saprophyte is a dead thing that lives on another. Freshman—Is the Junior one of the “400’? Sophomore—Yes, indeed, he is one Of the ciphers. Prof. W. in English IV.—Consider the different steps in a boy’s life: First he wants milk, second he wants some small playthink, third he wants a top, fourth he wants a tricycle, fifth he wants a bicycle. sixth he wants an automobile and seventh an airship. Ur. Life's Formula—Love a little, spurn a little, give a little, laugh a little, cry a little, chaff a little, sigh a little, work a little, play a little, shirk a little, pray a little. Grin a little, scowl a little, chin a little, howl a little, use a little, take a little, loose a little, make a little, run a little, lag a little, pun a little, brag a little. Walk a little, roar a little, talk a little soar a little, weep a little, breathe a little, sleep a little, grieve a little, mope a little, prate a little, hope a little, wait a little. And future generations of our world ot wee can do no more than lollow Life's Formula above. What is Space? the teacher asked, The trembling freshman said. 1 cannot think of it right now. But have it in- my head! Ellen G.—What is the name of Potifar's wife? Frank R.—Potimor. “Move inside, gents!” cried the conductor. You’re breakin’ the rule, standin' on the platform here! “Some of them ain’t, piped up a little man. They’re standin’ on my feet. Mr. Young is especially fond of hardtack on Thursday evenings. We wonder why? Miss W. waits on the table then.

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THE ACOKN 31 There are meters of accent And meters of tone; But the best of all meters, Is to meet her alone. Gym. Instructor—Have you taken a shower bath? Freshman—Oh no, sir. Is one missing? Cape of Good Hope—Sweet Sixteen. Cape Flattery—Twenty. Cape Lookout—Twenty-five. Cape Fear—Thirty. Cape Farewell—Forty. Teacher. “Who was the tirst man?' Head Scholar. “Washington; he was the first in war, first in—” Teacher. “No. no; Adam was the first man. Head Scholar. “Oh, if you’re talking ot foreigners. I s’pose he was. Irritable schoolmaster. “Now, then, stupid, what’s the next word? What comes after cheese? Dull boy. “A mouse, sir. Miss Lindberg. What is to be done with a bone not in the right place? Oscar Dahlstrom. “You should try to get it back in place again. If you can't do it yourself take it to the doctor. Miss Lindberg. “What relation has the nerve system to the other systems of the body? Miss Witzel. “The relation is the same as the telephone is to the wires.’’ A. J.: “Why didn’t all the Latin people have the same declensions? Ruth S.: “Yes, why didn't they have only one word to stand for everything? Then we wouldn’t have had to study so hard. Ruth L.—“A draft went hurt you unless you get it in the neck.” R. S.— What's that card for? Annie J.— It's for taking notes.” R. S.— What do you want to take notes for when you don't sing. Miss Ruth S.: “O, I wish I knew something! THE GUILTY PARTY. .Judge sternly—To what do you attribute your downfall? Culprit—The first drink that I ever took was the one you bought me when you were trying to get my vote. A PIOUS TASK. Johnny, what are you doing? Johnny—Tryin’ to teach the fish in this here creek what they'll get if they bite on Sunday. As a gentleman passed two colored men who were in the midst of a heated discussion. he overheard these words accompanied by wild gesticulation:—“I did not say ‘Is you ain't,’ I says ‘Is you is.”’ Anna J. in history: “I like Charles XII. Miss L.: “Why? A. J.: “Because he was a Swede. She Is right. Doctor:—“Well, how are you feeling today? Patient-—“I have trouble in getting my breath Doctor:—“Well, we ll soon stop that. Miss Lindberg: “Miss Johnson, ask someone a question about History.’’ A. J.: “I don’t know anything myself.” There are only two “Frank men i Swed. II.