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Page 30 text:
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JLGsf Will and Jestament We, the Senior Class of Nineteen Hundred and Fifty-Three of Bethany High School, being of weak minds, shallow understanding, and poor memories, do make public and declare this to be our last will and testament, hereby revoking and making void all former wills and promises. We bequeath and leave the following as our Last Will and Testament. Article I To Mr. Bourne, who has guided us through high school, we leave our sincere thanks. To the faculty, we leave our appreciation for the many things they taught us and for what they tried to teach and we failed to learn. To the undergraduates, we leave the right to graduate if they can. Article II I, Dorothy Roberts, will my flaming blushes to Ruby Vernon. I, Jimmy King, will my big, flat feet to Jack Dixon. I, Dot Lea Chambers, will my love for Madison to Chattie Odell. I, Mary Rose Combs, will all my giggles to Anne Isley. I, Mary Taylor, will my long, golden tresses to Mr. Bourne. I, Hilda Jones, will my constant chatter to Margie Moseley. I, David Knight, will my attraction for the opposite sex to Tommy Moore. I, Carlton Hill will my tall, slim stature to Ronald McCollum. I, Johnny Middleton, will all my tickets for speeding to Steve Puckett. I, Donald Sharpe, will my booth at Lawson ' s Grill to Jack Tucker. I, Joetta Forbes, will my love for jumbled romances to Patricia Alley. I, Evelyn Dixon, will my neat appearance to Shirley Pearman. I, Jerlene Joyner, will my happy ways to Shirley Isley. I, Edmond Albert, will my ability to appear in the latest fashions to Kenneth Shumate. I, John Moore, will my bright remarks to Johnny Paschal. I, Annie Lea Friddle, will my shyness to Barbara Clark. I, Lois Jane Purgason, will my natural curls to Margie Walker. I, Carlene Joyner, will my ability to make all A ' s to Stanley Pearman. I, Donald Moseley, will my perfectly arranged schedule so as to arrive at school during first period to Wayne Clark. I, George Yeatts, will my ability to get out of all classes to Buford Pyrtle. I, Geneva Sipe, will my seat in Chemistry to Helen Roberts. I, Lincoln Wall, will all my corny jokes to George Knight. I, Howell Gentry, will my place at the Madison Drive In to Jimmy Taylor. I, Louise McGee, will my quiet dignity to Pauline Cook. I, Calvin Crews, will my carefree ways to Estelle Cardwell. 1, Johnna George, will my ability to keep up with the soldiers to Yvonne Moore. I, Donald McCollum, will my innocent look to Don Overby. I, Nancy Jones, will my calm nerves during basketball games to Margaret Collins. I, Doiless Jean Albert, will my angelic smile to Mary Ann Hopkins. I, Dorothy Bradshaw, will my big mistake of laughing in class to Henrietta Thompson. I, Elsie Jones, will my excess sweetness to Mary Jones. I, James Simpson, will all my extra credits to Jimmy Saunders. I, Delores Tucker, will my ability to catch and hold a man to Betty Porter. I, Esther Lewis, will my studious ways to Martha Jean Hopkins. I, Milloway Tucker, will the magic of which I made good use on moonlight nights to Bobby Middleton. I, Joan Hinson, will my position as Mr. Griffin ' s secretary to Julia Sharpe. Joan Hinson, Doiless Jean Albert, Testators
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Page 29 text:
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Dorothy Roberts is making a tidy sum as a guest writer for True Confessions. Poor Dot had such a guilty conscience that she just had to tell about her be- havior on the Blue Comet while traveling to and from ball games. Carlton Hill and Calvin Crews are traveling with a Living Freaks of Nature show. Calvin is billed as the strongest man, Carlton as the tallest. Calvin recently discared his weights he just lifts his wife, the fat lady. Carlton is living a life of solitude since he stepped on his fiancee, the midget fan dancer. Mary Rose Combs and Nancy Gray Jones are co-owners of a fleet of yachts. They have a two-weeks run off the coast of Florida called the Honeymoon Special. Of course, the girls are hopeless old maids. They are known far and wide as Battleship Jones and Steamboat Combs. Carlene Joyner is Director of Military Science and Tactics at Oak Ridge Military Institute. She is well qualified for her job because of her two years of night school along these lines. Carlene offers a written guarantee that all the students will be able to graduate within ten years. Jerlene Joyner is a widow for the sixth time. All of her husbands have died unnatural deaths but Gorgeous George Yeatts, who is willing to try, says I regret that I have but one life to give to Miss Joyner. I am sure that Evelyn Dixon and Lois Jane Purgason are raising poultry somewhere. I do not have first-hand information on these two, but I did overheard the statement that they are some chickens. Johnny Middleston is the fellow to call when your sink needs to be unstopped. Johnny got his start when he cut his teeth on a pair of pliers in his father ' s garage. Elsie Jones and Annie Lea Friddle are owners and operators of an unusual beauty shop. Their slogan is, We take the sags out of the hags. Esther Lewis is their private dummy. At the last check-up she was sporting four orange teeth, green hair and purple eyelashes. The case of Jimmy King vs. A Woman ' s Rights was being held in Supreme Court today. Poor Jimmy was being tried for kissing a girl. The accused man pleaded insanity. Joetta Forbes and Johnna George are big names in the modeling field. Their friends were very proud of them until they found that the items they modeled were red flannels instead of bathing suits, and the place was Sears instead of Montaldos. Happily married Donald Moseley, Bethany ' s outstanding dairyman, is as contented as Elsie, herself. The only ones with any complaints are the cows. Donald, out of sheer happiness, milks them ten times a day. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the news of today as seen by your favorite girl reporter, Dot Lea Chambers. And now I would like to speak a word in behalf of that miracle medicine, made, brewed, and aged by my own secret process Chambers Snake Oil Cure-All. Buy a large economy size today. A q uart is only thirty-nine cents. Just follow the directions on the bottle and I guarantee you will never live to regret it. Good night.
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