Bethany College - Bethanian Yearbook (Bethany, WV)

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Can Your Pin Girl Pass An Esquire Exam £ She may be a honey .it a prom or the races, God ' s gift to a stymied senior, a weekend wonder. But how will she rate when the chips are down and you can ' t go back to the boys and books? Every college man should ask himself this ques- tion; it ' s important as the quantum theory, vital as Mendel ' s law. For him Ed. S. Woodhead has prepared a matrimonial scoring table in the Oc- tober Esquire and all you need to do is answer the questions and draw your own conclusions. Naturally it ' s best not to have the little wom- an back seat drive while your checking off her plusses and minuses on this Esquire chart. If certain parts of her personality are address un- known to you, score ' em zero till time writes the figures. Above all, be personal. This table is adjusted for you and you alone, so don ' t let the boys in the back room befuddle vou. After the bells, you ' ll be paying the bills, so the goods had better be worth ' em. Esquire rates companionship 105 points out of a possible 5 00. But if you go for other values, re-adjust the scale accordingly — knock it down. Under the companionship heading come the qualities of consideration, fun, loyalty, tolerance, good cheer, etc. Here specially you want to play down the Casanova in you. Be clinical. Don ' t give the gal top rating for consideration if she only turns it on for you. If she beats her little brother or nags the dog, drop her — but quick. Then, of course, there ' s intelligence, which the author rates 90; but if you believe in bird brains, skip this. Subheads allocate 10 points for such virtues as talent, bookiness, and critical aptitude. You can ad]ust these according to your own grades in college. Or perhaps throw the points to the disposition category which includes such points as: can she bake a cherry pie and has she discovered what a really great man you are. Breeding, beauty and health total 13 5, though again you may go all ovit for the Babe Didrickson type or prestige a la Vanderbilt. Be your own adding machine. According to Esquire the gentle art of Juking comes in for its share of consideration. And if you ' re unwilling to scuttle your scotch, file the office stories, or stay on the home beat, consider this carefully. It includes such amusements as dancing, sex, manners, drink and a flare for the risque. All of which just about sums up your brief on the lassie except for the final catagories of amusement and conversation which total to a flat fifty. But even if she ' s scored a royal 500, don ' t call Reprinted by permission of Esquire Magazine the jewelers yet. Now come the deductions. Is she nagging, ailing, selfish, bossy, lazy, vain, un- tidy, catty? Does she smoke and does she chew? Plus, of course, your own pet aversions like breeding orchids or keeping a spittoon in the parlor. These all have their individual pointage and you can ' t be really sure until they ' ve been subtracted. Now that you do know: forget gals under 3 5 0, linger longer from 3 50 to 400, anything over 400 rates a trip to the church and if she ' s over 475 rush her there by wire, plane or long distance phone. But naturally if she tops 495, forget her: she ' s either married, Myrna Loy, or a pipe dream. Your luck doesn ' t run to that. You may shoot yourself if you wish. Group Value Value Her Score 10 5— COMPANION Considerate 20 Fun 20 Loyal 10 Generous 1 Agreeable 8 Forgiving 8 Tolerant 8 Just 7 Compromise 5 Cheerful 5 Initiative 4 Total 105 90— INTELLIGENCE Tact 1 5 Talent 10 Books 1 Criticism 10 Taste 8 Logic 8 Education Perception Music 5 Art 5 ! Games 5 Total 90 80— DISPOSITION Kindness 20 Affection 1 5 Domesticity 1 Equability 8 Sympathy 8 Friendliness 8 Humility Demonstrativeness 4 Total SO 5 0— BREEDING Charm — manners 20 Continued on Page Twenty-one Page Thirteen

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NOSE-TROUBLE This column might be called an innovation. There are probably better things it could be called, but they aren ' t printable. You see this is supposed to be a gossip column, of a sort, which is to have no gossip in it. The Bethanian can ' t print a dirt column such as you have been accustomed to find in many magazines and papers for these simple reasons: 1. News travels fast — especially the kind of news you find in such columns. 2. People change just as fast. We shouldn ' t sleep nights (if this were a scandal corner) for fear that Joe Blow, who we linked with Mary Goon, might turn around and put his pin on Hermoine Burp. 3. Tell would scoop us every time. Further- more the Bethanian is usually late. We think, however, that there ' s enough in- teresting foolishness going on around school and the nearby wooded vicinity to make a page or so of decent reading per month. A good deal of the fun in college conies from little dopey things that go on all the time, things that made you laugh when they happened, and that might make you laugh again. Moreover, there are happenings, people and places in Bethany which are interest- ing and amusing, but which few people seem to know about. Maybe we can drag some of them in here. We aren ' t going to make any claims or pro- phecies about this minor mess. We ' ll try to make it worth reading, if you ' ll bear with us on the first try. We ' re somewhat rushed by the dead- line this month, and furthermore, there seems to be a great shortage of material. We ' ll do our best though, and will surely welcome any suggestions, ideas, interesting anecdotes or other miscellan- eous matter you might throw at us, c o Bethan- ian. Frankly, we ' re somewhat discouraged by Bethany ' s first wartime College session in 25 years. So far, at least, it would be difficult to discern that anything unusual was cooking. Of course we see headlines while en route to the funny pages; news broadcasts sneak in be- tween programs of dance music; chewing gum is hard to get, and isn ' t wrapped in tinfoil anymore; matches are scarce and CPT boys are plentiful, and we hear of things like scrap drives and black- outs; but on the whole Bethany doesn ' t seem much concerned over democracy ' s life or death struggle. Everything seems just as usual. Freshman Week was the same as it always has been; Rush Week as lead pipe-ish as ever; the football team carries on the tradition; there are upperclass men students in school and what ' s more they ' re taking history, economics and literature; the freshmen girls are impolite on serenades and lovely in evening gowns and all in all things aren ' t much different from what they ' ve been the last few years. We can ' t quite figure it out. After all the bustle and confusion of back home, the peace and quiet of Bethany bewildered us. Not that we ' re criticising anybody or anything. We aren ' t too sure but what it ' s a good thing that there ' s some- where to come and have a little quiet before we boys go and the girls get jobs. We just noticed it, felt a little let down, and thought we ' d men- tion it to you. Perhaps the one place on the campus where tradition is quickly giving ground is the library. Probably the freshmen don ' t know and the soph- omores aren ' t sure, but we can remember the time when Mr. Carnegie ' s yellow temple was a date bureau for freshmen females, and a hotbed of such sundry sins as holding hands, talking, note-passing and winking. It is even rumored that pins have been put out in the stacks. We wandered up the other night with purely journalistic intent, and what we saw made us fear for the old order. From top to bottom the library was filled with students . . studying. On the bottom and main floors the tables were filled with industrious workers. We couldn ' t find a single couple talking together back in the stacks. On the third floor it was so quiet we could hear the rats running through Prof. Green ' s collection of Indian Relics. On our way back down we spotted only one thing that verged on the ex-commonplace sin of week night dating there: a freshman girl started to smile at a football player, however on seeing a member of the staff nearby, checked her biologi- cal urge and went back to her drudgery. We asked Mr. Behymer what he thought of it all and he just smiled and said, Marvelous. We tried the same question on Miss Bellinger and she replied, Sssshhhhhhh. We started to ask a freshman girl what she thought of the whole affair, but unfortunately Mr. B. threw us out before we could even find out her name. We hate to start out this column in a squawky mood, but we ' ve been wondering lately if some- thing couldn ' t be done about the Chapel. We don ' t mind going too much, outside of the hard seats and most of the programs. What we hate is the fact that we never quite know what ' s go- ing on. We wouldn ' t be sure but what the speak- ers, etc. could be good. All we hear is a buzzed up jumble of vowels and consonants, with a few overtones and reverberations thrown in for good measure. We like musical programs, but not when they all sound like the Wellsburg Philharmonic tun- ing up. And those of us who don ' t have girls and are consequently interested in the movie ContiniwJ on Page Twenty Page Twelve

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Midsummer Seaty Huhn arrived bearing a tennis raquet, fishing rod and second baseman ' s glove. Back we came in droves, laughing, smiling, anticipat- ing. This was going to be a summer — swim- ming, baseball, tennis and other sports with an incidental class. What a breeze! Perhaps for a while Bethany would be like the colleges your friends at home attend and tell you about. Seven-thirty classes — that won ' t be so bad. We ' ll just go to bed an hour earlier and be fresh as daisies, and besides it will be fun to try that early to bed early to rise business just for the novelty. Twelve hours in twelve weeks didn ' t seem so bad. — Then classes began. After the first week we rose and stumbled to our seven- thirty ' s with glazed eye and clouded perception. We really awoke at eight o ' clock in the middle of the class with the pealing of the tower clock. Snatching naps became the favorite pastime. Faces grew pale, weight was lost and, worst of all, illusions were shattered. We began to wish for the good old three day a week, one hour a day times. We thought of the wonderful hours we used to be able to waste. The problem of dating was taken care of very nicely — with a few exceptions, there was none. After dinner, everyone went to his respective cell and scanned the printed page. Profs even began to worry because the students were work- ing too hard. There was great weeping and gnashing of teeth on Friday night because classes continued per schedule, and so, date or no date, you studied. Doc Weimer took over the prob- lems of social functions and found them more complex than he had dreamed. About the most successful event was a hayride, ending in a corn roast at the Castleman ' s Run Church. On the way out some rowdies buried Miss Palmer, may she rest in peace, under a pile of hay. When we arrived, there were two fires lighting the coun- tryside. Waiting for the corn to burn we worked ourselves into a state of complete exhaustion playing a fast game of Three Deep. While we sat in class and tapped our feet to Top left — The Bethany House gang lounging after dinner. Upper left — Summer school students playing Bingo on a Saturday night. Left — .4 Ceneris entertains with bogie at a summer jiie session. Page Fourteen