Berwick High School - Blue and White Yearbook (Berwick, PA)

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THE MIRROR Page Q5 Please don't call me Varney again. I can't go to this dance under false colors and meet a lot of people, ex- claimed the perturbed freshman. Supposing Fred Varney objects to giving the joke away. Here he comes. Ask him. Varney had been talking to Miss Kitty who sug- gested that he stay over for the dance. This he had agreed to do. He refused to drop the disguise and Sleepy Wil- liams, alias Fred Varney, was forced to go to the dance as captain of the Westmore eleven. Suddenly the comedy assumed a serious aspect for the mighty freshman. He was introduced to a muscular, enthusiastic young man, named McGregor, who exclaimed: I am the captain of the Wentworth eleven, and we play our annual game tomorrow with Statesville. Bob has agreed to play guard for you if you can be persuaded to stay over and play with us. I wish I could, but-but I have to leave town, stam- mered the helpless freshman. At this moment Bob and Fred sauntered up. Thfv uttered no threats but their stern faces expressed a direful purpose. Sleepy consented to plav after they had made it more impossible than ever to declare himself an imposter. In comparison with these, the Westmore-Keatsville games are as mild as sewing, said Varney, after he and Sleepy were left alone, and Sleepy had begged for mercy. ' It was an informal holiday in Wentmore. Most of the stores were closed at noon, and hundreds of people mot- ored in from the surrounding country. The tidings that the Westmore captain had been induced to play for the love of the game aroused iealous indignation among the States- ville partisans, and they loudly urged their champions to send him back East on a stretcher. Fred Varney was with Kittv Lombard, and she found him slihtlv distraught, a mood which she mistook for lack of interest. He was really reflecting that the joke had takrn rather rn unfair turn to McGregor and his eleven. He felt uncomfortable and hoped that Wentworth might win. To Varney's amazement. the impossible freshman sailed in to show the crowd that he was indeed a formidable right guard from Westmore. Bob Sedgwick. playing his own position as left guard with alert efficiency, tried to

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Page 94 THE MIRROR the presence of girls. Williams comprehended that he was not to correct Miss Kitty's blunder. They could laugh about it later. The fair cousin walked ahead with the bogus West- more hero, and Bob whispered to Varney as they followed: She is the busiest little tease you ever saw in your life. The way she used to guy me was cruel. This is my first chance to put one over on her. Sure it's all right? was the anxious query. You will confess the joke before we leave town? What about your folks? Leave it to me, was Bob's answer. I'll tip them off, and they will play it along at luncheon, especially Dad. Somewhat mollified, the football captain consented to the hoax. Miss Kitty catalogued him as a highbrow. She chatted gaily with the supposed Varney. Football was their topic. Williams was full of information that was modestly impersonal. Varney scowled at the glib flow of information. Please tell me, Mr. Varney, said Kitty, do you honestly believe that your eleven could have beaten one of our crack Western Universities-Seamore, for instance? It would have been a great contest in my opinion, replied the unabashed pretender. Seamore might have outclassed us in end rushes and made winning gains in that way. Our left end was weak this year. This being Fred Varney's position-best end-rusher in the count1'y for two years-he was a listener who nearly lost his temper. They turned in at a gate and crossed a lawn, and Bob ran straight into his waiting Mother's arms. During the glad confusion the word was passed that the program included having fun with Kitty. The parents joined the conspiracy with ready compliance. After supper Williams managed to get Bob alone for a few minutes and confided to him: About that dance tonight, old man, your cousin wants to know why I can't stay over for it. I could just as well as not, you know, and beat it to Denver tomorrow. There is a hotel in town, I presume, and- Nonsense! There is plenty of room in this house even for you-er-Captain Varney. Mother will be de- lighted. And I'll try to persuade Fred-I mean Sleepy Williams-to stick with us, although he is none too strong on the society game.

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Page '26 THE MIRROR restrain his whale among the minnows, advising him after a scrimmage: You are surely throwing a sca1'e into them, even if you do get every signal wrong. But for goodness sake slow up and save your wind. Darned if I'll let you and Varney make a monkey of me, panted the young pretender, who staggered into position instead of trotting. His complexion turned from red to purple. He was willing to do his best, but his flesh was woefully weak. Kitty was sadly perplexed. In her excitement she turned to Varney and cried, a little impatiently: Aren't you ashamed to sit here doing nothing? Can't you become a little interested? What can be the mat- ter with Captain Varney ? ' Fred Varney excused himself and sauntered out on the field. He and the referee had quite a conversation, and soon he was seen running to the gymnasium. In a few minutes hc came out of the building in a football suit. The referee put him in the game and the game began again. The players returned in a dangerous mood, and the opponents were fairly taken by surprise. Varney received the ball and went tearing down the field with Williams in front of him. A few yards from the goal post he fell and the ball rolled in front of Williams. Williams picked it up and ran, a man clinging to him on each side. This did not stop him. Six feet from the goal line he toppled over and measured his length, which was enough and to spare. Kitty Lombard, always wide awake, realized her mis- take in treating Varney as she had treated him. When Varney and Bob tried to explain things she calmly said: It would have spoiled it if I would have told you that I knew all the time which was which when Bob intro- duced you. Sleepy was congratulated on his playing, but took it very shamefacedly. He thinks to this day, although no one has told him so, that Varney fell on purpose in order that he might make the much needed touchdown. wsu A Notice By The Joke Editor Wanted-Jokes for the Mirror. That afternoon three Sophs applied.