Berkshire School - Trail Yearbook (Sheffield, MA)

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the sports section that Hugh J. Weidinger had been signed as head coach of the Baltimore Colts, along with super-star Big Daddy Schmidt. On the society page l noted that Roger Powers 'had recently given a S25l,OOO party in honor of Charlotte Ware, daughter of the fabulously rich Texas rancher Peter Ware. He then beckoned to his close friend, Don Carlos Worthington, headwaiter of the swank El Clippo Club, where this remarkable conver- sation took place, and asked to speak to the owner, H. Todd Spofford, with whom we had a delightful little talk until business called him away. I noticed that the stranger carried in his pocket a copy of the latest best-seller, My Sister Had No Brothers, written by Milo D. Folley, and published by the Collins Pub- lishing House. My companion wore on his wrist a strange timepiece, which he told me was a combination barometer, thermometer, anemometer, and chronometer, a recent invention of Pete Otis. He wore a weli tailored suit which he had bought from Smith Mowry, manager of Mil- ler's Campus Toggery, recommended in the popular men's magazine, Gayboy, published by John Johnson Peavy Odell, Ill. He expressed his regret at my not being able to hear the Zen Ten Minus Eight, a jazz combo featuring Steve Jenks and Dave Smith, which was taking a day off. My strange companion then voiced his ap- proval of the diplomatic tactics of Mr. Scott Patton, who, my friend was convinced, wielded more influence in the Foreign Service than any of his predecessors. Also active in politics, he noted, was Senator Dave Edson, who had re- cently delivered a vehement address against fellow Senator John Oldham, whom 'he accused of literally clouding the issue by covering the Senate floor with a dense, impenetrable fog of black cigarette smoke. He accused page 'boy Gerry Francis of importing these illicit cigar- ettes into the Senate. ln answer to further questions this strange gentleman described several engineering ad- vances of the past year, notably that of the famous physicist Russell Strasburger, who per- fected a method of propelling craft through shallow water, in this method the craft is drawn by a team of Watusis, led by Steve Norman, who borrowed the team from their native Swahililand with the permission of pro- vincial governor Mac Simpson. He then expressed his distaste for the current trend in popular music, as exemplified by guitar strumming singers George Berger and Dick Granger. He told how Steve Wil- liams, noted author and scholar, had recently won the Nobel Prize for archeological re- search. He also mentioned with pride his daughter, who he said was attending Miss Cor- ridor's Girls' School lheadmaster, Bob Fieldl, where she was taking an advanced mathe- matics course from Robert Richardson. He spoke of buying stock in Spencer Tobacco Company, whose chief tester is the noted to- bacco authority, Bill Richards. He also told of spending a week in the Berkshires, at the famous summer resort run by Dave Ressler, where he received some ex- cellent tennis instruction from Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Salembier. He noted that the social activities, organized by Pete O'Hara, were exceptionally enjoyable, as well as the dancing instruction by Steve Smith. Among the celeb- rities he saw there were two famous disc jockeys, Andy Fried, noted for the long and irregular hours he keeps on his show, and Cliff Johnson, who has started a regular night people's cult among dissentin-g radio listen- ers. Don Polak, owner of radio station WAIL and employer of both disc jockeys, even said Hiya to the mysterious stranger, who seemed to relish this bit of conversation with the celebrity. Alan Ekstein, noted for his ama- tory prowess, was seen at poolside with Liza Colket, the daughter of comedian Peter Col- ket. Then, as it was long past the time when I should have gone home, we rose, paid our checks, and went out into the street. On find- ing that our destinations lay in the same di- rection, I hailed a taxi for us both, opened the door, and turned to find that he had gone.

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Class Will To be read in the event of my graduation: Being of sound mind and body and in the presen-ce of the witnesses undersigned, I here- by do make allotment and disposal of my estate in the following manner. I hereby be- queath: to George Berger one hundred pounds of pulverized Rock 'n Roll records, to Joseph Bodak a lifetime subscription to Time maga- zine, to Richard Bradley five basketball play- ers, each of whom shall exceed six feet six inches in height, to Peter Colket, a book of stale jokes. I also bequeath: to Stephen Collins an automatic egg-poacher, to Michael Crawford a carborundum sharpening wheel, to David Edson a bed, to Alan Ekstein a map showing all the towns and villages in upstate New York, to Robert Field a wealthy heiress, to Milo Folley, anti-dog-allergy serum, to Ken- neth Fox a scholarship to drama school, to Gerry Francis a comb, to Andrew Fried a life- time supply of coffee: to Richard Granger the collected works of Sigmund Freud, to Stephen Jenks a cold-water flat, to Clifford Johnson a trot of Cicero's Orations. In addition, I bequeath: to William May- her one hundred shares of Schenley stock, to Donald Miller a charge account at Brooks Brothers, to Smith Mowry a book on the art of deception, to Stephen Norman a Life pic- ture book ofthe Watusi tribe, to Peter O'Hara a certificate good for ten ski lessons from Betsy Snite, to John Oldham an ashtray three feet in diameter, to Peter Otis, wings, to Scott Patton a copy of How to Win Friends and In- fluence Peoplei to Donald Polak a continuous magnetic tape saying Hiya , to Roger Powers a butler to do his corridor sweeping chores: to David Pyle, ten gallons of 'Waterman's ink, to David Ressler a one-pump gas station, to William Richards a morning valet. I also bequeath: to Robert Richardson a chalet for two at Bromley, to John Roy five hundred dollars in quarters, to Joseph Salem- bier a tennis raquet built for two, to 'Eric Schmidt, fifty shares of B810 Railroad, to Mac- Kinnon Simpson a paint brush, to David Smith thirteen pairs of custom-made sun glasses, to Stephen Smith, Buff, to Robert Spencer, ear- muffs, to Todd Spofford a set of dumlbbells, to Russell Strasburger a seat in classroom 23: to Peter Ware a guilty conscience, to Hugh Weid- Inger, twenty pounds of raw meat a day, to Stephen Williams a reproduction. of The Thinker , to James Worthington a Woo Woo. Class Prophecy I have recently undergone the most extra- ordinary experience I can contemplate, one so extraordinary that I am not a little dubious of its credibility even now. Yesterday I met a man whose name I shall probably never know, a most unusual man. I should never have realized just -how unusual he actually was had we not entered into a conversation about some mutual acquaintances, and found some wide discrepancies in our descriptions of these in- dividuals. Rather than try to interpret the story I shall reconstruct the conversation to the best of my ability. I begin when he told me that he had re- cently met Dave Pyle, a wealthy financier, and a quite affable man to boot. The-n he spoke of meeting a man named Michael Craw- ford, a strangle sort, a medlium who professed to have spiritual contact with the ghost of a French-Canadian fadclist author named Jack Kerouac. He then described to me a play he had seen the previous night, in which had ap- peared an impassioned actor named Kenneth Fox, who played Falstaff in Henry IV. At this point I should have stopped him and politely suggested the improbability of his stories, for I knew that I had graduated from preparatory school with these individuals not two weeks before. But since I was intrigued by his narra- tive and there seemed little possibility of stop- ping him, I allowed him to go on. Basso profundo John Roy, he told me, had recently given an outstanding performance at the Met. My informist then produced, much to my amazement, a copy of The New York Times, dated June I7, l975, and pointed out an editorial, written by the syndicated column- ist, J. D. Bodak. In the same issue I read of the latest marriage of international playboy Bill Mayher, and how Rich Bradley had broken the six-month-old uranium strike. I noted in

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The unofficial Berkshire School Glee Club. 'ox S0 thot's how the tunnel was pointed, Berkshirefs answer to Von Dykgl 1 um K' . 5 A ff This hOPPe 5 onli' Once O Veer' You oreri't the one who runs the block market, ore you? 26