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Page 14 text:
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IVIotto: He who laughs last is of slow wit. Author: Position now open THE TECH PEPPER Volume: Loud Place: State of Confusion Date: Boy meets girl ELMER SCHMUNK MARRIES Elmer Schmunk and Ioan Doe were mar- ried last Sunday at an elaborate church wedding. All the roses were punk. fThat's a typographical error: it should read: All the noses were pink.l IT'S A FACT CPERHAPSJ It is rumored that a bridge party was given yesterday by a number of reputed ladies. Mrs. Smith, it is said, was hostess. The guests, it is alleged, with the exception of Mrs. Brown, who says that she comes from Illinois, were all local people. Mrs. Smith claims to be the wife of Alexander Smith, who is rumored to be doing a thriv- ing business in town. BANQUET HELD A Thanksgiving dinner was served at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Swayze alter the wedding of their son, Dee. FIREMAN INIURED Fire destroyed eight blocks of the met- ropolitan area last night. Bob Bennet, fire- man, whose name could not be learned, suffered slight injuries. Listen to the WOOD CUTTERS' PROGRAM at 7:00 p.m. CAN YOU CHOP THIS? Paid Advertisement: Try Slushy Wushies in the handy dandy l5c size, the medium 2Uc size, or the economical 25c size with wheelbarrow attached. For 30C we run a belt to your house and deliver them fresh daily. For 35c the company is yours. If you have 40c, don't breathe it to a soul. An architect is stuck for life If his plans turn out a fizz. A doctor is all right if he makes mistakes Cause he can bury his. FOR SALE-Bull dog. Will eat anything. Likes children. Weather report: Clear. Increased cloud- iness. Heavy rain. Breeze. Still. Windy. Warm. Snow. Fog. Sunshine. Light show- ers. Hail. lGuaranteed partially correct.l mY Ctemographer ha? IoiMfd thf nAr!mE corpc Shf has gomf For Oven tHf Cea. Ny SplmoGrap?fr Gas jdLmfd thd Mur!me ?oprs oN Plealf Bnlrg Hdr Bec? tO nel. DEFINITIONS Drizzle: Two drips going steady. Wave: Grable-bodied seaman. Coo Coo Coffee: Coffee that's weak in the bean. Puppy Love: Beginning of a dog's life. Tequille: The Spanish 7-up. One drink and it takes seven men to pick you up. CLASSIFIED ADS LOST-A red women's hat. It found return catsup and keep the hot dog. LOST-Cat in the vicinity of Sellwood with black and white spots in center of Inter- state highway. Answers to name of kitty. kitty, kitty. Foobulous reward. In case ol tie. duplicate rewards will be award- ed. GREAT TRAGEDY! FIVE DROWN Seaside was the scene of a great catas- trophe fkat-as'tro-te: n.-a great calamity or disaster: an event subversive of the or- der ot things! yesterday as the treacherous Pacific Ocean 'took the lives of five men in its greedy clutches. According to reports, the drowning was the result of five Scotch- men - Wayne McCroskey, 'I'homas Mc- Garry, Merlin MacKenzie, Don McCallum. and Vic Santangelo-attempting to swim with one pair of water wings. However, it is said that all five died with smiles on their laces-no doubt from the knowledge that someone else would have to pay for their funerals.
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