Bennett Medical College - Em Dee Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

Page 212 text:

-e Wwwwr THE JOKING DOCTOR. l knew a doctor, years ago, Aged forty, fat, and ruddy, Who made of puns, both high and low, A most important study. To men who fasted for a day, Whose lungs were but presumption, l'le'd say, in a most joyous way, How great is your consumption! And added that in many ways, His heart was sympathetic, And how his skill brought forth more pr Than any known emetic. When called upon to use his power, And check some angry tumor, l-le'd cry, How can you look so sour? You're in delicious humor! And if some sighed, the room needs air, Before the mourners present, He'd smile, and gently say, uforbear, Your rheum is very pleasant. My daughter, Annie, on the stoop, Fell sick in strangest manner, The doctor came, and said lt's croupg l'll ipecac you, Anna! And when l asked him, ushall I die, After some great entreaties, He muttered yes, with one closed eye, Unless you diabetes! And thus for many, many years, This creature has been stunning Thousands of helpless, suffering ears By his atrocious punning. But l will have my joke on him, Although to me 'tis trying: For sometime back, l've felt quite slim- He told me l was dying. His bill since last July is due, And it will make him holler To find fl tell this entre nous, l haven't left a dollar! aise .. -FRANCIS SALTUS SALTUS 208

Page 211 text:

, , ies BONE YARD. ln my head, known as my pate, There are bones just twenty-eight. ln my trunk are Fifty-four That l add to my bone store, While my limbs have plenty more- Full one hundred twenty-four. ln my sl-cull, the strong round box Which protects my brains from knocks, There are eight bones in its wall- Glad to have them when l fall. Occipital there is but one: One ethmoid and wedge sphenoid one, One frontal bone not very long- Comparecl with oak, just twice as strong Parietals there are but two, ' Two temporals will also do. There's thirteen bones within my face To know them is not a disgrace. One lower jaw and upper, tcm, Help me each day when l must chew. Two turbinated, shaped like cones, Two nasal, malar, palate bones, Two lachrymals and vomer one, But very large bones there are none. The smallest bones are in my ear, And help me when l want to hear. These bones are small, and hard to see- The mallet, anvil, stapes wee. My bony trunk, it takes good care Of all the organs hidden there. lts spinal column, very long, Has six and twenty bones so strong. Small bones just seven it doth take, A neck or cervical to make, With dorsals twelve and lumbars five, I surely need if l would thriveg With sacrum one, and lots of ribs, Fourteen true, and ten called fibs, One coccyx, sternum, hyoid small, With two big hip bones, that is all. Now, in my limbs-just let me see- l own a clavicle, or key, A scapula, or shoulder blade, Ancl which for gold l wouldn't trade: A humerus, not meant for fun, A. radius and ulner one. Eight carpals help to form my wristg Five metacarpals in my fist, While all my fingers have each three Phalanges that are strong, but wee. But my poor thumb can only boast Of two phalanges at the most. -VAN BUREN MAURICAU I6 207

Page 213 text:

l - s- ,::::i:1 -t ' AS TO YOU. Did you give him a lift? He's a brother of man, And bearing about all the burden he can. Did you give him a smile? He was downcast and blue, And the smile would have helped him to battle it through Did you give him your hand? l-le was slipping down hill. And the world, so l fancied, was using him ill. Did you give him a word? Did you show him the road Or did you just let him go on with his loa'd? Did you help him along? I-le's a sinner like you, But the grasp of your hand might have Carried him through Did you bid him good cheer? just a word and a smile Were what he most needed that last weary mile. Do you know what he bore in that burden of cares That is every man's load, and that sympathy shares? Did you try to find out what he needed from you, Or did you just leave him to battle it through? Do you know what it means to be losing the fight, When a lift just in time might set everything right? Do you know what it means-just the clasp of a hand, When a man's borne about all a man ought two stand? Did you ask what it was-why the quivering lip. And the glistening tears down the pale cheek that slip? Were you brother of his when the time came to be? Did you offer to help him, or didn't you see? Don't you know it's the part of a brother of man To find what the grief is, and help when you can? Did you stop when he asked you to give him a lift, Or were you so busy you left him to shift? Oh, l know what you meantg what you say may be true, But the test of your manhood is, What did you do? Did you reach out a hand? Did you End him the road, Or did you just let him go by with his load? -J. W. FOLEY. - - -1- .. ,W V A.-- -...,..,...- . Y,-,M ,,,,,,AnY 209