Bennett Medical College - Em Dee Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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, , ies BONE YARD. ln my head, known as my pate, There are bones just twenty-eight. ln my trunk are Fifty-four That l add to my bone store, While my limbs have plenty more- Full one hundred twenty-four. ln my sl-cull, the strong round box Which protects my brains from knocks, There are eight bones in its wall- Glad to have them when l fall. Occipital there is but one: One ethmoid and wedge sphenoid one, One frontal bone not very long- Comparecl with oak, just twice as strong Parietals there are but two, ' Two temporals will also do. There's thirteen bones within my face To know them is not a disgrace. One lower jaw and upper, tcm, Help me each day when l must chew. Two turbinated, shaped like cones, Two nasal, malar, palate bones, Two lachrymals and vomer one, But very large bones there are none. The smallest bones are in my ear, And help me when l want to hear. These bones are small, and hard to see- The mallet, anvil, stapes wee. My bony trunk, it takes good care Of all the organs hidden there. lts spinal column, very long, Has six and twenty bones so strong. Small bones just seven it doth take, A neck or cervical to make, With dorsals twelve and lumbars five, I surely need if l would thriveg With sacrum one, and lots of ribs, Fourteen true, and ten called fibs, One coccyx, sternum, hyoid small, With two big hip bones, that is all. Now, in my limbs-just let me see- l own a clavicle, or key, A scapula, or shoulder blade, Ancl which for gold l wouldn't trade: A humerus, not meant for fun, A. radius and ulner one. Eight carpals help to form my wristg Five metacarpals in my fist, While all my fingers have each three Phalanges that are strong, but wee. But my poor thumb can only boast Of two phalanges at the most. -VAN BUREN MAURICAU I6 207

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was and a jump, and you are through tlte aoita, and on your way to the suburbs. There you are, provided with a neat package containing a combination of oxygen and assorted nourishment for these remote regions, which you carry gaily under your arm and toss into the outlying tissue as you skip by. ln a minute, you are plodding along at the rate of a hundred miles an hour or so along the venous boulevard, wretchedly lighted. ln a jiffy, however, you cavort into the heart, and from there into the lungs, where you get a breath of fresh air, and then you are off again to lndia, China, the Dardanelles, through the Suez, and back by way of Hoboken and the Hudson tubeg as for your nervous system, that is backed up against the wall, waiting for a chance to escape, hoping that a door will open somewhere, so that it can rush off outside into space and get a good night's sleep. At least that is the way we have felt since we have known abcut it. We trust when this meets your eye, you will feel that way, also. Misery loves company. juni

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-e Wwwwr THE JOKING DOCTOR. l knew a doctor, years ago, Aged forty, fat, and ruddy, Who made of puns, both high and low, A most important study. To men who fasted for a day, Whose lungs were but presumption, l'le'd say, in a most joyous way, How great is your consumption! And added that in many ways, His heart was sympathetic, And how his skill brought forth more pr Than any known emetic. When called upon to use his power, And check some angry tumor, l-le'd cry, How can you look so sour? You're in delicious humor! And if some sighed, the room needs air, Before the mourners present, He'd smile, and gently say, uforbear, Your rheum is very pleasant. My daughter, Annie, on the stoop, Fell sick in strangest manner, The doctor came, and said lt's croupg l'll ipecac you, Anna! And when l asked him, ushall I die, After some great entreaties, He muttered yes, with one closed eye, Unless you diabetes! And thus for many, many years, This creature has been stunning Thousands of helpless, suffering ears By his atrocious punning. But l will have my joke on him, Although to me 'tis trying: For sometime back, l've felt quite slim- He told me l was dying. His bill since last July is due, And it will make him holler To find fl tell this entre nous, l haven't left a dollar! aise .. -FRANCIS SALTUS SALTUS 208