Bennett High School - Beacon Yearbook (Buffalo, NY)

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24 Cege Bennett Beacon COLUMN O' LOVE By MME KATIE McGILLICUDDY DEAR KATE, I-Iow's your liver? f f f I'll bet that startled you, didn't it? Imagine my embarassment when I opened a circular and found this vile phrase staring me in the face. I think that something ought to be done to exclude this type of obscene literature from the mails, don't you? I'm certain that unless it is suppressed, the younger generation will suffer. GAZZHOO. ANS. I'm inclined to heartily agree with you. A girl can't be too careful nowadays, can she? Come up to tea sometime, and we'll let down our hair and have a good, old fashioned cry. WINSOME KATE. FAIREST OF THE FAIR, I am over eighty years old, yet I am but a wee bit of a girl at heart. Please answer these questions for me: 1. Is there an Easter Bunny? 2. What is a cigarette? 3. Where is New York City? 4. Do you like Hot Cross Buns? Please answer yes or no. SOPHRONY. ANS. I have complied with your request as follows: 1. Yes or no, Z. No, 3. Yes. 4, As this question does not seem to be entirely wholesome, I will not answer it. THE MADAME. v KGMPASSIONATE KATIE, My marriage is a complete failure! Last night, when I was shampooing my pet poodle, Angela Mia , my husband suddenly flew into a rage and said that I must choose between him and Angela Mia . I love them both. What shall I do? HAPPY FEET. ANS. By all means choose the poodle! What a cute name it has! I have a pet dog, too, and I can realize the pleasure you must derive from yours. What good's a husband, anyway? MADAME CS. P. C. AJ KATIE.

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LOWBROWS' DEPARTMENT Sub-Deb fThe Gloriousl McGillicuddy Presents His UWOCKLE DEN Featuring a TRUE TRUDY TECTIVE MlZZTREE From the sums ORIENTALEH NOT QUITE A LADY, BUT OH, WHAT A WOMAN! ECTOR WUZZAPUP, the famous demagnetized detective, was baff fled. The MiZztree Hex , as that Eendish vandalette was called, who insisted on removing those beautiful mustaches which are to be found gracing feminine features on any conspicuous billboard, had once more been seen on the streets of New Cheeseburgh, with eraser poised in hand, and a devastating look in her eyes. Hector, as we have said before, was baffled. Having guzzled an over' size jelly doughnut, he reached under his overfstuffed chair and pulled forth his only clue. fHecky f f f of course you know that we're referring to Hector f f f we meant to tell you, had been engaged by the mayor of Cheeseburgh to capture the Mizztree Hex .j It was an ornate old rose boudoir cap, with thc mysterious initials, Sally Patica, the Mizztree Hex , worked across the top in 22M karat silver letters. Hecky, with his marvelous powers of deduc' tion, had surmised that this cap must belong to the famous Mizztree Hex , and with extraordinary cunning he inserted this ad fpardon the slangj in the New Cheesbuvgh Herald: If Miss for Mrsj Sally Patica will call at the offices of Hector Wuzzapup, the world's only demagnetized detective, she for hej will receive a great surprise. He then retired to his study where he patiently waited behind shuttered windows for three months, playing his piano accordion lustily for want of other exercise. Then, on the ninetyffirst day of his wearisome vigil, he was rewarded by a sharp peal from his dis- connected doorbell. He went swiftly to the door and yanked it open. There on the threshold stood a huge dog leering at him through luxuriant eyelashes. Welcome to my humble domicile, Sally , hissed our hero as he clapped handcuffs on the canine's paws. fC0'ntinued on page 25,

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cege fennel! ,Beacon 25 O COMMANDER OF THE FAITHFUL! ' Please play for me that sweet- no, no, I mean I wonder if you will repeat that recipe for Gloria's Glorified Glomu, from your Tasty Receipts corner. I want to serve it at a bridge party which I am going to give for my worst enemies. TACTLESS. ANS. Here it is: fall measurements are unevenj GLORIA'S GLORIFIED GLOM Take 3 cups of leftover prunewhip, zn cups of tan shoepolish, a quart of sour whipped cream, a can of tomato soup, M lb. of moldy grated cocoa' nut, 8 large onions, sliced, a teaspoonful of prepared mustard, a box of cough- drops, a quart of vinegar, and one pound of pink and apple green bon'bons. Throw these all together into a dirty dishpan, stir for 3 hours and 15 minutes and add a gallon of boiling water. Dump the mixture into a mold and place in the electric refrigerator for 2 days, or until frozen solid. Then put into a moderate oven 1900 FJ and bake for 6 hours. It will then be ready to serve. P. S.- -Ptomaine poisoning and satisfaction guaranteed. KATE fthe leftfover expertj. fContinued from page 23 You brute, how did you know that it was I? demanded Sally Patica, the Mizztree Hex , for it was she, indeed, camouflaged in an innocent appear- ing dog costume. Oh, snapped Hector, from studying the embroidery on your boudoir cap, I deduced that about three months after I had advertised in the New Cheesebwrgh Herald, you would visit my lodgings disguised as a St. Bernard. O, you dreat, bid, wonnerful super mans , cooed Sally as she stepped from her canine habiliments. Let's you and I get hitched immejitly and for' get all about nassy Mizztree Hex . NO. K.! screeched Hecky as they rushed off to the license bureau. To this day the residents of New Cheeseburgh wonder as to the identity of the Mizztree Hex , but of course they are terrorized by her no longer. N f'1'3 998:54 I I M fo N , f 5. ,.,.,,, . F ' ll 4 ii ,Q '- 51 i's1f - jyff 151mr:g.sX-. 1 2 .. x N-FM: .zvr-S51 115592 WX wa .1mm,11x4. .wr f .. 13 j