Belfast High School - Memoirs Yearbook (Belfast, OH)

Page 45 text:

J' OKES Visitor: If your mother gave you a large apple and a small one and told you to divide with your brother, which apple would you give him? Jfohnny: D'ye mean my big brother or my little one? Doctor: Ever have any trouble with dyspepsia? Recruit: Only once, sir. I tried to spell it. V Lieutenant: Now, Private, if you stood with your back to the north and facing south what would be on your left hand? Private: Fingers! I understand that Mimi has cured her Scotch boy friend of stuttering. How did she do it? She called him up long distance, collect. I stood in line over an hour yesterday. What for? I don't know, it was gone before we got in the store, so we were told. He was expelled for cheating. How come? He was caught counting his ribs in a hygiene exam. Inspecting a pair of trousers in his shop in Athens, a ta-ilor queried, Euripides ? ' ' Answered the customer, Yah, Eurnenides. Roommate: You look broken up. What's the matter? Student: I wrote home for money for a study lamp. Roommate: So? Student: They sent me a lamp. John: I think Sybil will make me an ideal wife. Every time I go there I find her darning her father's socks. James: That caught me too, until I noticed it was always the sa.me sock.

Page 47 text:

Teacher: Who can tell me what made Francis Scott Key famous? Jasper: He knew all the verses of the 'Star Spangled Banner.'. Son: How did you meet Mother, Dad? Dad: None of your business, song but I can tell you one thing--it certainly did cure me of whistling. Teacher: Johnny, did you know that in the Arctic the Eskimos live on candles and blubber? Johnny: I'd blubber, too, if I had to live on candles. Puzzleds I would like to know how long girls should be courted. Answer: The sarne as short ones! Announcer fat a concertj: Miss Periwinkle will now sing, 'Oh, That I were a Dove, I'd Flee. Junior: Dad, what's a dove-eyed flea? Judge: Do you challenge any of the jury? Defendent: Well, I think I can lick that little guy on the end. Joe: Arithmetic is an exact science. Figures can't lie. For instance, if it takes one man 12 days to build a house, 12 men can build a house in one day. Mrs. Joe: Oh, yeah? Then 288 men can build it in an hour, 17,280 in one minute, or 1,036,800 in one second. Two Indians noticed a white man cycling, said one: White man very lazy, sitting walking. There is no difficulty in this world that cannot be overcome. Is zar so! Did you ever try to push the tooth paste back into the tube? Doctor: You should take a bath before you retire. Patient: But I don't expect to retire for another twenty years. Raynfxond Palxner Jack Roberson. Q