Beebe High School - Badger Yearbook (Beebe, AR)

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rophecif This is the tragic story of Mrs. I. M. Ha 1f insane . formally known as PATSY PATTERSON before her marriages. Mrs. I. M. Halfinsane is 36 years of age and is now receiving a divorce from her ninth husband. She always seems to be able to catch her men but after so long she loses interest in them--the result eleven children! (who said Patsy was a slow worker9) Four of the children are in grade school, four in high school and the triplets are ready to enter college. A mother never wants to send her children to school without knowing what type of people will be their associates. Mrs. I. M.ijalfinsane is like any other mother and is only doing her duty when she decides to visit the college, Penrose, which her girls have chosen to enter. It is five o'clock Monday morning when Mrs. I. V. Halfinsane awakes by the ringing of the telephone and who else should it be, but her old maid neighbor, ANN DAVID, who has as her favorite pastime, gossiping. Ann is calling Mrs. Halfinsane only to tell her that Mrs. Bill King, some know her as JO ANN MOORE, is leaving her husband because he will not buy her a cow to milk and that Prof. JOSEPH CHARLES FORD is now running a free school for the, underpriyileged, Oh Yes. did she know that BETTY Jr.AN AKTiS nas gone as nutty as a fruitcake9 She believes that she is a tiger and tries to eat everything she sees. The only person who even t e mpVrei WAV J AWffe Mrs. I. M. Halfinsane finally convinces Miss David that she has a million and 3 3 things to do and that she really mu st hang up. Just as Mrs. I. M. Halfinsane puts the receiver on tlie hook and reaches for a Burns cigarette (the cigarette that burns your tonsils out with only one draw which was w?,l so .the, Searcy, Lions will be. forgotten known inventor. HORrr.I w;alks and the Beebe Badgers will reign her beautiful maid, JOHNNiE Hi TH forever! McKFNNEY. Miss McKinney has been a true and faithful servant to Mrs. I. M. Halfinsane for many years and is a sucker enough to be for many more years. Crash! Rang' Knock! Slam! What’s $11 the commotion7 Oh, it must be that noisv no-a-count garbage collector. He seems to take a delight in getting as dirty as he can and he always has some big tale to tell you. It’s not that Mrs. I. M. Halfinsane likes to hear all the low- down on people or anything like that, but she must go to the door to speak to DAVID DOSS, When he sees her he doesn’t give her time to say a word. “Good morning, Mrs. Halfinsane. How are you this morning? I hope.you got some sleep because I sure didn’t-- worrying about that robbery that happened on Idiot Avenue. The rich W]LlARD BFNTON S jewelry store was robbed and Detective BOBBY HARRISON found CONRAD REDDS’ fingerprints pn the wedding ring counter. I was up in the society part of town this morning and Miss NELTA SMITTi is giving formal tea this afternoon in Miss PATSY ANN ERVTN’S honor. I heard that all the elite ladies were going to be there such as: Miss GKARIDENE HfMWFY. Miss MARY Rl IH MOORE, Miss BETTY JO fiUSICK, and Miss ZFUA MAE KTRK. You must not have fed your cat this morning because he was starving to death until I gave him some scraps which Miss David threw out. peaking of cats that reminds me, SIP Hl’FFAKER (You probably don’t remember her-few do remember the introverts) got married, believe it or not, and when she moved her cat followed her clear across the United States. Oh, Mrs. Halfinsane, I just remembered that I have an appointment with my dentist, JERRY THOMPSON, and I musn't be late because he is very impatient. I truly b li conve£satlon w th you ana While Mrs. Halfinsane was waiting fpr JOE. STRAYHORN the. manager of the.Patience Jack Pressing Shop, to deliver her dress, she heard the radio commentator. HAROID RISK, annoimce that since tne P. U. Stinkum Perfume Co. which is owned and operated by Mr. OMAR K. VANPANIENT, the former sponsor of the Beebe High School Sr. class of 1949- 0, had been built at Beebe, Arkansas, the population of.Beebe has increased so. much that now it reached the city limits of Searcy. There is no use for two football teams in one town so the and the Beebe Badgers will reign fore ve r ! After the arrival of her dress, Mrs. It M. Halfinsane dressed and on her journey to Penrose, the college. While waiting for the streetcar on the corner in front of the church, Mrs. I. M. Halfinsane noticed that Hev. Page 15

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«lllARTi FV1I.fr Cive h tine- Coe»- Mrciil Club. imhby harhison Cm»! GFK miis»' i»)wn ' I transcribed ih« hundred. Library Club, Coenereial Club. laverre i iif.s That Ilka to have tickled ■« to death.” Talent Club, Pep Club, Citltenahip award. Hi , National Honor Society. UARVIN MARTIN la Johnnye Ruth hero’’' PORRIS vinrmrn ! • juat thick headed. ” CARL PF'NROn Quit ailing lun of •e. ” Foot be I I, Conner cial Club, basketball. JIMUY RAINHOIT Got to jo by and (et ■y little aiater. ” Foot- ball, Coeaercial Club, FFA. GLARES RTF ” la there anythi elae you want to know F11A, I owerrial Club. Er»IN SOiO.'i How a the weather jown there’ Coeaercial . J. SHORT NFIJW SMITH JOF STRAYKW» JOF IFF UIJ.IAVS ” Goinji to the a how’ ” Ahen--bere. There a one teacher 1 don’t like.” It waan't ee thia Football, Talent Club, line FFA, Journaliae Claaa Secretary, Banket ball. Football Co-Cnpt., Club. National honor Society, Annual Staff. Baaketbal1 Captain. Page 14

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EAPL MORRIS.JB. was speaking that night on 1T Cuss and Go to Hell. The. streetcar operator, Miss LAVEHNF LTjES, let her on Tree because she was of the female sex. Miss Liles plans to be the first woman to show the men that women will rule the world someday. Mrs. I. M. Half insane was very surprised and pleased to see one of her old classmates, lALTON HILL, on the streetcar. They immediately began talking of the good ole days. “Dalton, where is JEAN RTLFY7 Do you know7” ‘ Veil, Patsy, T think she is still hack in Peebe finishing high school. You know that GIATYS Hu-' and OPAL KIRKIANC run the biggest gambling place in the United States. lAROI.YN fWGLASS and MARCTF CARLISLE were partners with them but they weren t fluite smart enough and got caught. Carolyn and Margie are now spending the rest of their life in jail.” Yes, I heard about that but I have more sympathy for HOBBY JOE FTSHFR He, ot caught with JAMFS MININ s wife, James shot him and they l,ls funeral today at MARVIN S Put em Away Home. LESLIE GOLBLRJ arranged the floral display.” “Oh, Patsy, you know that I am a doctor now, don t you7 I delivered the lFVt 1|‘ e S:i?tVn!naK r He sure was a proud papa, but he gave the cheapest cigars he could buy.” “ Dalton, as soon as ROPRYF Bl’SICK and FRMARIE COVINCTTON gratuated they invested in a mule barn. After several months of bathing and feeding the mules they fell in love with them. They were so lealous of their mules that they wanted to take them some place where they could have them all to themselves. Ip to this day no one knows where Bobbye and Frmarie took their Mule Train. ‘‘That’s a shame, I always thought that they were sort of peculiar. You remember HIGHER WEIGH, don’t you7 He s a great explorer now. He reported to congressman RALPH “ PORKY M TAYLOR that he had discovered another Great lake but upon investigation they found that it was only part of Bull Creek. ” “ Dalton, guess who I saw the other day7 I INDA FTSHFR. She is givire reducing lessons in the I.ost and Found Building in New York City. New York, and she tola me that AVA Tr VASOS is taking Dorothy Dix’s place. EVA has become a strip tease dancer and is staring in the show Come one, Come All. Ava won’t even claim kin to her.” I wonder how JAMES »flGH GARRETT, JR. is getting along as caretaker of the zoo. They say he has named it Home for all Dumb Animals ” (it’s his home, too) He lias an animal to suit everyone--a love bird for the boys, a stork for the newly weds, and a line for the girls. ” “ Excuse me a minute, Dalton, but there is a theater. Would you mind looking to see what’s showing now? ” ‘‘Not at all, Patsy. It’s the Oscar Award of the year, “ The Green Hills of El Paso ’’starring MORRIS MIDDLETON, who is very handsome with his mustache. He resembles the late Clark Gable. PF.NNTE PITH NORTON, the Jane Russell of her day, and .NEIL AF1FN who is twice a better comedian than Rob nope ever cou Id be . ’’ “ That sounds a though it would be interesting, doesn t it7 T saw an Tee Show last night that really enchanted me. T ie nan » of it was “ Shinning Blades and I-ovely Indies.” The two ice queens-- AIDA LEE DAVIS and NORMA I FFM BAXTER are so graceful on skates that I could watch them all night. “ Patsy, I guess you read in the [.iKr,,edns-ir,r;in e rw f m- mSX tRe jailor’s wife IAVONNE MCKINNEY slipped them the key because she hated to se f handsome men like that go to waste. ’ “Dalton WILLIE OLATEHPARM’S Bootlegger’s Paradise was raided last night by two State Patrolmen WILLARD FITTER and ERWIN SCRICGS. ALIEN COFFEE reported the joint to the police because Willie wouldn’t let him trade there.’ “Isn’t this where you get off, Patsy 7 “Oh yes, I could just talk on forever. I sure have enioyed my visit with you and I hope we bump into each other again soon.’’ Mrs. T. M. Halfinsane is greeted at tj»e door of the college by a very beautiful lady whose name is EMMA LOl “ IXCY ” FBFNNAN. This character with curves may not know a bit oi shorthand or typing but she still is very big help to the president of the college. ‘‘Mrs. T. M. Ha If insane, if you will please just wait a minute the president will be'here. I am sure he will be glad to see you. Bless his heart, he enjoys ladies’ visits immensely.” , While, waiting- Mrs. I'aif insane glances through rne list ol teachers and notices that Miss KAIHKHYN PLl VfdER is the math teacher, Mr. W. J, SHORT, Jr., teaches ballroom dancing, and STMS DEAN IAIIEY, the speech teacher, promises to cure all students from stuttering and using profane language. What’s this7 The coach is none other than coach F.VVIT TAYIQR. She also notices that there will be a lecture in the gym on ' Atomic Fnergy has Taken the Place of Brains” by Professor 0. F. “JR. ’ WOODS. Mrs. I. M. Halfinsane can now see the president’s feet coming down the hall and she is very anxious to meet him. When he steps into the doorway her heart skips a beat for who else could , thh?nr children will go to school here anyone would be charmed to be under Mr. Penrod’s influence. Page 16