Battle Creek Sanitarium School of Home Economics - Nucleus Yearbook (Battle Creek, MI)

Page 108 text:

. gi' nor. M They sat on the garden stile The youthlet and the maidg The stars above are not as bright As you, he softly said. She lifted up her lovely eyes Toward Luna.'s golden light. The moon above is not as full As you, my dear, to-night. MONDAY EVENING QUESTION BOX Maude Baker: Would a tape worm become seasick on a peristaltic wave? Mother, have you seen my belt around the house? No, Sylvia, did you put it around the house ? EXTRA! EXTRA! 31,000 Angora goes mad! Swerves from vegetarian diet, eats three fat cockroaches. In dizzy whirl over bathroom, bites off water spigot. Swerves for five hours unassisted due to high resistance built up by vegetarian diet. Later found calm and still in death. Autopsy shows toxins due to recent high protein diet. Our idea of a delicate girl is one who catches cold when she tears her hair net. Hello!-Are you there P Central, H812 Green. Voice, No, drank one too soon. Mr. Watt to his Sunday School Class: Will one of you little boys tell me who led the children of Israel into Canaan ? No reply. ' Mr. Watt sternly: Little boy on the end seat, who led the children of Israel into Canaan ? It wasn't me teacher, I only joined this Sunday. Marybell: Did they take roll to-day in Psychology? Izzy: No, they tried to, but the class was broke. Voice from under covers: What day is this ? Roomie : Saturday. - B. K.: Call me Monday. 105

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gem fx f si QQ f HIS SPEED Spice: Are you dining anywhere to-night ? Freck: No, I'm not. Spice: You'll be awfully hungry. Mr. Watt, in Economics class: Miss Kennedy, what did man do after the Hunters stage? Barb: Oh, he planted a few 'Vegetables and things.' A NEW ORDER Please, gasped Cleo, the young wife on giving her first order to the butcher. Please send me a pound of steak and some-some gravy. HEARD ON A B. C. STREET CAR Alice reading car advertisements: Enjoy a chapless winter with- Maybelle- We do. ODE TO BARBARA By the grace of God And my heavy line, . In two hours more He will be mine. Shanny: I got 50? in my intelligence test. Min.: That makes you a half wit, doesn't it? Loud shrieking in Min.'s room.: Madeline walking in: Another basket made! Dr. Key, talking to a class in Biology: I promised to show you a very fine specimen of a dissected frog which I brought in this parcel. Undoing the package she disclosed some sandwiches, a hard-boiled egg and some fruit. But surely I ate my lunch! HE'S NO FREAK - Kathryne H., on shopping tour looking over Victrola records: Mr. Farley, have you 'Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes ?' Miss Ritchie: Show the class the meat and tell them where it came from. Miss Murphy: Binders What makes you so small, Juggs ? Oh, I was raised on condensed milk. Freck: Did you hear the latest gossip? Barb: No, what is it? Freck: Oh, I guess there isn't any then. Miss Ritchie at 9:10 as six late-comers stroll in: Will you please remember next time that this class begins at nine sharp ? Elizabeth Collins: All right, Miss Ritchie, but if I'm not here go right ahead, don't wait for me. 104

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C5115 g gi, ' H l 5 ,Q RESULTS OF A VEGETARIAN DIET The other day I found a man 90 years old crying. Milly Jones: Why was he crying? Sylvia: His father spanked him for throwing stones at his grandfather. SURE DEATH TO DOUBLE PNEUMONIA Stick your head in a pail of cold water three times and draw it out twice. A girl walked by a target range, The soldiers were entranced. In fact she was so beautiful The bullets even glanced. She wrote to him and said: Dear Tom, won't you invite me to the prom? If you're too bashful I've got Jack Fine, bring it all dear, he wrote back. Schwaby and Bill walking down the street. Schwaby speaks to young man across the street, Ask your friend to join us. Oh, Bill, this is so sudden, he's the new minister. , Miss French: What is the compound CH2O ? Pauline B.: Sea water. No Doris, not all cuckoos have wings. THINGS WE WERE PAID NOT TO TELL 1. How Helen Hall put in her time at noon. ' 2. Who sends the printed letters to Lorna. 3. Who Carmen's new acquaintance was during the last food sale. 4. Why Agnes is always so noisy. 5. Why Merna always puts john McCormack's records on the vic. 6. How Heinie completed her physical exam. 7. What jo's favorite song is. 8. Why Clara likes married men. 9. Why Ella Mae and Heinie are always together. 10. How Miss King gets to work on time. 11. Who ate Alivia's quince preserves. 12. Honey 5 oz. FAMILIAR PHRASES Twenty-five cents for leaving your lights on. Has the mail come yet? Is the heater on ? Hold 'em, Yale ! Who is coming to breakfast this morning? 106