Barnard High School - Cardinal Yearbook (Barnard, KS)

Page 33 text:

Have you noticed -how Mr. Davis continu- ally shakes a niece of clayon in his hand in that distinctly seven com-e eleven mo- tion. Frank: Am I to understand that you are laughing at my mustache? May A.: Ha, Ha, I just can't help think- ing -how much it looks like a wink when you open and shut your mouth. Mr. Decker: What precaution should one take in using wood alcohol? Leo: Not to get a splinter in his throat. Wife: I got the recipe for this pud- ding over tlh-e radio, today. Mr. Decker: Ugh! Doggone that stat- ic! Freshman to Joke Editor: Please write your jokes on tissue paper so we can see through them. Miss Evans: I am getting nare work ffrom the Juniors. Miss Gibbs: Rare! Miss Evans: Not well done. Vera G.: Do you think I should send my new photograph to all my frien-ds? John P.: I don't think I should. It's very cmluch like you. Rfnaldz fComing in from showerl Hey, Tory, have you taken a shower? Tony: No is there one missing? Alfred: Do you .see any cha-nge in me? Marjorie: No, Why? Alfred: I've just swalliwed a nickle. Mr. Decker: What is that gurgling sound that I hear back there? Beulah B.: It's me trying to swallow that line you're putting out. Sh Elvena: What is the shape orf a kiss? Everett: Give me one and I'll call it square. Floyd: Was it vou I kissed in the library last night? Mary S.: About what time? Elvena: I'd like a pair of garters, please. Alfred E.: Yes, Miss, something like the ones you have on? Clarence S.: Wlhere were you last night? Charlie Brown: Mjay C. and I went coup- aymg. Clarence: Big time, I suppose? Charlie: Fair. May did the co-oing and I did the paying. Gui-de: This, ladies and gentlemen., is -the greatest cataract in the country, and if the ladies will only be silent for a moment you can hear the thunder of the waters. vMr. Davis: Hello, Frank, -how different you look without a beard or mustache. I woul-dn't have recognized you if you hadn't had my umbrella. Wayne R.: Hey, Art, do you fee-d people here? Art Hare: Yes, but we don't fill silos. Mr. Decker: A fool can ask more ques- tions than a wise man can answer. Freshman: T'h.at's why we all flunked. Elinor G.: What are you doing? Louis G.: I am going to shoot my brains out. Elinor: Impossible! Louis: Wihy? Elinor: You have nothing to aim at. PA GE TWENTY-NINE

Page 32 text:

Dorrance ,Simmons at the age of 26 was arrested for bootlegging. He is serving a five- year sentence now. The lawyer took Dorrancefs Stutz Straight Eight as his fee and his wife is now taking in washings for a living. I see in the paper that his wiife and two children, Junior and Lois, visited him for an hour yesterday. Constance Shipley is still single because of 'being so conceited. She has never found anyone that seemed 1to be of her so-cial standing. She is now a steno- grapher for the Armour Packing Company in Chicago. She hopes to spend her va- cation in Mexico watching the Bull Fights. John Perri-ll and Verneitea Spencer were married in 1930 and started for India as Missionaries. John seems to be very well satisfied but Verneitea thinks a lot about the old times. Verneitea seems to be jealous of one of the native wom-en as John seezms to vhave lost all interest in he-r. Wilbur Wil-d is living on a large farm in Colorado and is making a specialty olf raising purebred Hereford cattle and irrigating a large tract of land for orchards. They are starting to drill for oil on Wilbur's land soon. Ruth Wild married .a Movie Actor in Los Angeles but 'soon sued 'for divorce. She is now working as a :model 'lor one of the greatest sculptors in Chicago. She thinks she'll like the job as she- has been with it for three we-eks. Ve-ma Wright after half way joiring the armv fibe-tter halfl she decided to go into it a little stronger. She jcin-ed the Red Cross and is now secretary of the orgainizatio n. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF Opal we-re Silver instead of Gouldin? Marian- were a Lawyer instead of a Parson? Ruth were Tame instead of Wild? Vema were Wrong instead of Wright? Essie were Daniel instead of Joseph? Don were Raw instead of Cooked? Hazel were a Nut instead of a Griffeth? Robert were a Wharf instead of a Deck-er? Jshn were Safety instead of Perrill? Clay were a Queen instead of 'a King? Lewis were a Fin, instead of a Gill? Elva were Eve instead of Adam? Vernon were Sunny instead of Mooney? Vern were Grass instead of Moss? Marc-ell-ene were .a Spade irnste-ad of a Hart? Elvena were a Cardinal instead of a Pope? Verneitea were Mliltan instead of Spencer? Wilson were a Sheriff instead of a Marsh- all? Hinton were Sears Roebuck instead of Hamilton? Ronald were Pure instead of a Loy? Marjorie were a Hat instead of a Hood? Beulah were a Minister instead cf a Bishop? Allan were Lewis instead of Clark? Clarence were a Cobbler instead of a Schmidt? Marie were Goodyear in-stead of Kelly fSpring-field! ? Zelda were a Saxophonist instead of a Harper? Marian were Little instead of Biggs? Paul were Slidit instead of Rollet fRo1litJ? PAGE TWENTY-EIGHT

Page 34 text:

Mr. Davis: My wife explored my pockets last night. Decker: What did she get? Mr. Davis: 'Iihe same as any other ex- plorer--material for a lecture. Tony: Toad gets a lot of sentiment out olf his pipe doesn't ihe? Avis: Indeed ihe does. It's pedectly disgusting to see him clean it. Decker in physics class: Give me a de- finition f-or Svac-e. Emerson: Space is wh-ere there is noth- ing. I-I can't explain it -exactly, but I have it in my head all rigiht. Stanley Biggs: Dad, do the teachers get paid? Dad: Certainly, wihy shouldn't they? Stanley: I don't .see why they should- tihe pupils do all the work. Decker: It will pay you to be diligen-t in your studies. Remember, what you have learned no -one can ever take from you. Texas: Well they can't take from me what I whavenit learned, either, can they? Clarence: Th-e engine's dead, Thelma, and I can-'t get it to start. Thelma: Well, if you are kidding me I'm going to walk back to town and if you are telling the truth we'll both walk back. So I might as well be on .my way. fln Spanish classj Miss Evans: Los Pant alones is the word for trousers and is al- ways masculine. Wayne: How would you spell it when speaking of feminine? Clarence S.: I can trace my ancestors back to the famil tree. Ronald: Well th-ere are- only two things that live in- tree-s-monkeys and birds, and there sure aren'it any featihers on you. Bu-eniaz One off those fresh young 'boys just tried to .kiss me. Said ihe never kissed a girl before. Con-nie: What did you do? Buena: Told him I was no agricultural experiment station. Were the girls of your time as wild as the girls of today, grandpa? asked an in- quisitive grandson. N-ot tlhen, they weren't, replied the old gentleman as he looked after grandma, who was stepping out on a gay dance party. I ihear Floyd kissed Marjorie at the play practice last night. Well, did you ever! UNO!! Archie B.: I didn't .bring an excuse for being absent yesterday 'cause 'Ma was too busy to write one this morning. Mr. Davis: Then wihy didn't your father Write one? Archie: Shucks, he's no good making excuses. Ma catches him everytime, an' you're smarter'n Ma. d Evans: With what does comedy ea . Lavern M.: With love and suclhi ridiculous things. John P.: Would you like to take a walk with me? Gertie: But I don't kn-ow you. John: What you donft know won't fhurt you. Fl-oyd: I hear Everett was rather badly hurt the other aifterno-on. Ronald: Yes, h-e fell out of the car the other day and can hardly walk today. fHeard in an Annual Staff me-etingj Connie: We want everything to be original about the annual this year. Verneitea: Yes, all but the faculfty pic- tures, there could .be nothing original a- bout them. Tbingf We Can't Understand Why Mr. Davis says Don't forget your Literary Digests. Why no loafing is allowed in the halls. Why Elvenza flirts with Pearl K. Why Frank is trying to grow a mustache-. Wihy Marion is so quiet. Why Gertie i-s so tall. Wfhy Alfred thinks he's such a he-man. Why Floyd thinks he's such a 'heart-break- er. Why May A is so pretty. PAGE THIRTY