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Page 16 text:
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{Continued from Page 8) Not long ago, Mr. H. G. Wells, indefatigable futurist, produced a movie called Things to Come. We carefully studied the Wellsian dream of the day after tomorrow and then turned to Riverside Quad- rangle and let loose our faltering pen. The result — Riverside Building MCMLXX — sets forth our contention that what is good enough for Mr. Well ' s world will suit our Barnard. The exterior architecture of our dream is quite a departure from the accepted Graeco-Academic style, but huge windows with vita-ray glass insure a good coat of Barnard tan for students within. How- ever, icycles indelibly etched on the windows will prevent the common malady of spring fever, so often induced by constant gazing out onto a florescent landscape. Students taking the occasional examinations will undergo the ordeal in individual cubicles, free from that mental hazard, the Bril- liant Student, who invariably scribbles constantly and feverishly. The rooms where the dread comprehensives are administered are equipped with conveyor belts going directly to the infirmary, as the ordinary stretcher ride might prove too jolting. For the perennially tardy, there are escalators to all floors, which automatically accelerate two minutes before the last bell. For relaxa- tion, there is an air-conditioned Leisure Room and the Bear ' s Lair, cousin to Columbia ' s Den. The bells, incidentally, are not harsh sirens conducive to coffee nerves, but melodic masterpieces, which play the beginning of Beethoven ' s Fifth. But, as all Progress is balked by firmly entrenched conservatism, it is barely possible that our dream may not be immediately adopted for the new building. But we can dream. And this is still our dream. Down with walls, down with smoke-filled lungs, down with spring fever. May the old order change. 12
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Page 15 text:
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We know that the psychologists (hardy souls) condemn escap- ism and warn those who flee to it of dreadful fates. But for the Barnard girl, bruised and bat- tered by unyielding wooden chairs and weary of the per- petual struggle with towering flights of marble stairs, Mortar- board presents the embodiment of all her most wistful dreams. Yet one thing has been for- gotten in our groping; Can Arthur survive streamlining? Upper right: Mortarboard ' s plan for Riverside Building to come. Lower left: The building today; a but re- cently converted private dwelling with garage. CLf= S5 RoOf iNTCRlod FR.M (Ml £K Mlw T..,»«. RIVERSIDE BUILDING home of ailing diaphragms and Arthur FACT AND FANTASY 1940-1970
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