Barnard College - Mortarboard Yearbook (New York, NY)

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M. W. L. — Wall Street ' s Latest Financial Reports from One Who Knows. N. W. L. — Barnard stock below par. Panic caused by students ' refusal to rent season seats in classroom. Cafeteria wastes $40,000 from annual budget. Trustees hold closed meeting. Rumored that tuition will be raised to $8.39 a point. Respectfully submitted, N. W. Liggett. M. IV. L. — The audience will please be quiet. Professor Perry will sing Sappho ' s Lyrics. E. D. P. — Now before I begin it is well to say that the song, ' Fraternity Blues, ' given in a previous number, was taken from Sappho. The original is: — 2. N., 4 . K. F., £. A. E., B. 0. IT., A. K. E., A. A. T. A., Z. «P. M. IV. L. — Uncle Wiggly Stories, by Professor Baldwin. C. S. B. — Now children dere, my little Marshall-Archall— hym liketh this storie. I schal so tel it you ageyne. Little Doke-Woke hath lust of gode chere and wendeth his way unto Pigli-Wigli for to procure some Luki-Stryki. There he meteth wyth Bunni- Wunni and sin he hath o penni — M. W . L. — Let Knight speak before he has delirium tremens ! M. M. K. — Now Knighthood was in flower when I was in Albania. (Ha! Ha! Ha!) Well, this is getting off. Let us return to the snappy stories of History. Having finished with Catharine of Russia we are now prepared to go on. Which reminds us of Ladies ' Night. Now it had a good-looking cast. M. IV. L. — Apropos of this we will let Mrs. Baker in on ' Advice to the Lovelorn. ' Oh, I beg your pardon. We do find, you know, that she ' s busy. As a substitute we offer Dr. Griffin on ' What the Men Will Wear. ' H. G. G., M. D. — My pleasure to instruct you concerning costumes for very ordinary occa- sions. At Greek Games, for instance, one should wear monocle in right eye, spats on both feet, high silk hat (not to be removed) and fire-blanket on left arm, blanket not to be used if Professor Crampton is present. Same costume may be worn to Colony Club to tea, minus fire-blanket. M. W. L. — This concludes this evening ' s program. The features for tomorrow evening will be : Literary Evening — Professor Brewster (Daily Themes). Stories in Monologue — Professor Ogburn. Toivn Topics from the Files — Annie Meyer. Why I Bobbed My Ha ' r — Dean Gildersleeve. Day by Day — Coue ' s Autosuggestion — Professor Hollingworth. Accurate details will be given Monday. Wednesday and Friday at 1 :00 in Room 304. Correct Time now is Midnight. Good-night ! W f Twen ty-nine]

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VI M. IV. L. — Next number will be a little diversion. The Millbank Cloister Orchestra ' s musical interpretation of ' Tales of the Jazz Age, ' directed by Kenneth W. Lamson. Lamson ' s Orchestra opens with Fraternity Blues. BANG! BANG! ZIP! Alaska, Station 209, Agnes Wayman speaking. I wish to report perfect physical con- dition of all Eskimos north of equator. 50% wear orthopedic shoes, and 39% have perfect posture. This includes walruses, sea lions and polar bears. This being the result of good sportsmanship, substitute slips and remedial gym, I recommend this excellent example to you all. M. IV. L. — Give particular attention to the next number. Tt is my favorite. Hasty Review of ' La Vie Parisienne ' and ' La Sourire. ' Mile. Prencz. — When T was in gay Paree The skirts were up at the knee. But now they ' re coming down — la bas ! Miss Weeks — Barred by censorship, special from V. C. G. M. IV. L. — Next number will require concentration. Europe since 1815 in ten minutes, by Maude Aline Huttman. M. A. II. — - In the last analysis we may say that many things have happened since 1815. Time is short. I am afraid I shall not be able to cover the entire period. (Smoker ' s cough.) It is perfectly astonishing the things that have happened since the Congress of Vienna. For instance the raid on Monte Carlo, the Rice of the School of Isadora Duncan ! M. JV. L. — Time! mah wuhd, let up! (Give ' Gilly a chance.) Dr. Alsop will tell you the best short story of 1922, ' She Gives Up the Struggle for Size. ' Dr. A. — It ' s a wonderful thing to be small ! After I hung from the ceiling for seven years trying to stretch — my only nourishment during all that time being green vege- tables and growing pills — a sudden thought struck me! If I attained the great height I desired, I could no longer be inconspicuous in the throng around the electrical lab! Realizing this, I dropped from the ceiling with a skip and a bound and was soon lost in the familiar mob. Since then my life has been a pleasant dream. M. IV. L. — Too true for fiction. Next Dr. Crampton will sing the Snail Song. Dr. C. — There ' s a long, long snail a-winding, From amphioxus to us. We owe our life to evolution. Morphologically and physiologically speaking, and u sing the taxanomical method, we find that phylogenetically the snail of the South Sea Islands is embryologically, paleontologically, and by geographical distribution connected Telephone rings. Excuse me, please. That may be important. [Tzventy-eight]

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ALUNNAE OFFICERS OF THE ASSOCIATE ALUMNAE 1922-1923 President Estelle O ' Brien, ' 16 Vice-President and Chairman of Finance Committee Sarah Butler, ' IS Vice-President and Chairman of Reunion Committee Amy Jennings, ' 20 Secretary Vivian Tappan, ' 19 Treasurer Mildred Blout, ' 18 Mabel Parsons, ' 95 Marjorie Jacobi McAneny (Mrs. George), ' 99 Christine McKim Gillespie (Mrs. James P.), ' 01 Harriet Burton Laidlaw (Mrs. James Lees), ' 02 Margaret Yates, ' 08 Eleanor Gay Van de Water (Mrs. Frederick, Jr.), ' 09 Lillian Schoedler, ' 11 Evelyn Dewey, ' 11 Edith Mulhall Achilles (Mrs. Paul S.), ' 14 Alice Brett, ' 15 Beatrice Lowndes Earle (Mrs. Edward M.), ' 17 Margaret GiddingSj ' 18 Alumnae Trustees. Sarah Straus Hess (Mrs. Alfred F.), ' 00 Helen St. Clair Mullan (Mrs. George V.), ' S OTHER OFFICERS Assistant Treasurer and Chairman of Membership Committee Theodora Baldwin, ' 00 Clerk.... ' . Elsa Mehler, ' 12 Executive Secretary Anna Reiley, ' 05 Alumnae Council Chairman. .Elinor Reilay Endicott (Mrs. George), ' 00 Finance Committee Chairman First Vice-President Membership and Statistics Committee Chairman Assistant Treasurer Students ' Aid Committee Chairman Mabel Parsons, ' 05 Reunion Committee Chairman Second Vice-President By-Laivs and Legislation Committee Chairman, Mary Nammack Boyle (Mrs. John N., Jr.), ' 10 Board of Editors of Alumnae Bulletin Editor-in-Chief Sophie Woodman, ' 07 Nominating Committee Chairman, Mary Nammock Boyle (Mrs. John, Jr.), ' 10 John Jay and Brooks Hall Committee on Social Activities Chairman, Beatrice Lowndes Earle (Mrs. Edward M.), ' 17 Alumnae Day Committee Chairman Dorothy Herod, ' 14 Barnard Representative on Committee to Assist College Settlement, Adaline Wheelock Spalding (Mrs. E. Parker) A. A. U. W. Councillor, Marjorie Jacobi McAneny (Mrs. George), ' 99 Alumnae Fund Committee Secretary Alice Brett, ' 15 [ Thirty}