Balmoral Junior High School - Crimson Green and White Yearbook (Calgary, Alberta Canada)

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SOME FAMILIAR FACES MRS. McGIMPSEY

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WACKY MISHAPS (Contributed by Neale Larsen, 9E; Larry Fisk, 9A) Every ball player dreams of the day he’s as hot as a firecracker. But few attain it as literally as the outfielder of a California Sandlot team. The thirteen-year-old chased a fly ball so vigorously that the friction of his pants ignited some matches in his pocket. The matches touched off a pocketful of firecrackers. He banged his way spectacularly across the outfield and caught the fly—to the thunderous cheers of his amazed and delighted team mates. (W.H., 9E, take note.) One housewife in Cedar Rapids, la., is used to hearing her neighbors say that her biscuits are always sure-fire. Nonetheless, she was startled when shots rang out from the hot oven into which she had just dropped a pan of dough. Then she remembered that when the family left on a recent vacation, two revolvers had been hidden in the stove. In Kampsville, Ill., a bridegroom blissfully carried his bride across the threshold, slipped and broke his ankle. In Bridgeport, Conn., a box cf cookies set fire to a house. The box toppled from a kitchen shelf onto the handle of a water faucet, turning on the water. The cookies spilled out and clogged the drain. The sink overflowed, the water seeped through the floor, a,short circuit resulted, and fire broke out. Waitress—“Hawaii, mister. You must be Hungary.’’ Norm W.—“Yes, Siam, and I can’t Rumania long either. Venice lunch already?’’ , Waitress—“I’ll Russia table. ' What’ll you have? Aix?” Norm W.—“Whatever’s ready. But can’t Jamaica cook step on the gas?’’ Waitress—“Odessa laugh. But Alaska.” Norm W.—“Don’t do me favors. Just put a Cuba sugar in my Java.” Waitress— Don’t be Sicily, big boy. Sweden it yourself. I’m only here to Serbia.” Norm W.—“Denmark my Czech and call the Bosphorous. I hope he’ll Kenya. I don’t Bolivia know who I am.” Waitress—“Canada noise. I don’t Caribbean. You sure Ararat.” Norm W.—“Samoa your wisecracks? What’s got India. D’you think this arguing Alps business? Be nice. Matter of fact, I gotta Smolensk for ya.” Waitress—“Attu. Don’t Kiev, me that Bologne. Alamein do. Spain in the neck. Pay your Czech and scram. Abyssinia.” A true music lover is a person who, when he hears a soprano in the shower, puts his ear to the keyhole. “How old is you?” “Ah’s five. How old is you?” “Ah don’t know.” “Yo don ’ know how old you is?” “Nope.” “Does women bothah you?” “Nope.” “You’s fo.” 63

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BALMORAL JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL AWARDS 1. Athletic Award to the outstanding athlete in the school— Girl—Mona McLachlan. Boy—Dennis Christie. Outstanding Contenders— Girl—Joan Tarves. Boy—Maurice Weegar. 2. Home and School Scholarship— Betty Gittel. 3. Citizenship Awards—- Grade 9— Boys: Tom Birnie Gary Miller Donnie Williams Don Hatch Gavin Mann Jack Kenyon Sam Richter Grade 8— Boys: Ken McLaren Don Hume Graham Randall Grade 7— Boys: Jim Mathieson Jack Alexander Arnold Machon Girls: Wilma Vanderburgh Marcia Ball Arlene Wilkinson Ann Sterling Marjorie Grondahl Betty Gittel Marion Frayn Girls: Loy ce Robinson Elizabeth Woodward Pat Carvell Girls: Helen Greig Carol Susnar Margaret Robb Louise Billinger