Ball High School - Purple Quill Yearbook (Galveston, TX)

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The History of Galveston True Document Told by Billy McNee1 In the year of 1572 Alfanso De La Galves sailed his rat-ridden, infested ship into a small harbor near some foreign island. He set his course for the following day and dropped anchor. As the sun set, the wind grew stronger, a tropical hurricane blew in over the island and the sea became very rough. At once Galves saw that this rotten ship would not stay afloat all night, so he gave the command to aban- don ship. His men, who now thought Galves was a coward, turned against him. They broke into the armory and stole three score cutlasses, pis- tols, and rifles. Then hurrying to the galley, they stole food for the trip to the island in a row boat. Old Stewpot VVhiskey VVerner had been chief cook and head of all cooking utensils and now took command of the merry ship Seven Sistersu or Look twice, your glasses need adjusting. Stewpot Wer- ner was the meanest looking varmint west of the thirty-first parallel. Not one man would cast his shadow on Stew, nor call him a liar, and live long. Cutlass Caulk, a red-haired devil, was now acting first mate. He carried two large cutlasses on his belt and two pearl-handled pistols to match. Cutlass Caulk had some of the wind taken out of his sails by getting in a brawl with old Stewpot, in which Stew hacked him up a little. Acting second mate was Horatio Bucket of Blood Bullock, one of the most fighting men on all the boundingmain. He killed three men with one blow of his cutlass because one of the varmints tried to steal his diamond inlay toothpick. Then there was Bad Mouthv Bock, nicknamed so because he was always getting bashed in the mouth with a couple of cutlasses for forgetting to report Aye-Aye, Sir when he was supposed to. Bock was a man to be feared, for in his day he would rip any man into pieces if he were a coward and didn't have the guts to strike back. Most of the time he picked the drunk ones. Yes, sir, that Bock was a brave one. Others of the crew were Killum', Crowder, Hoopdick Hernan- des, f'Butcher Brown, and the handsome cabin boy, Van Kirsch- ner Cincidentally, the now famous Van Johnson is a direct descendant of 'fVan Kirschnerj, who had a way with all the lovely girls. Kil- lumi' and Van', had been shanghaied and put aboard the Seven Sistersf, A 111

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Now the crew was assembled in the rowboat, and K rations were issued to all the men except Van Kirschner, who was kept in chains for attempting to stop the mutiny. Van, our hero, was com- pelled to row the boat to the shore. Stepping out first on this new island was not Stewpot, nor was it Cutlass,' Caulk, nor Bucket of Blood Bullock, nor Bad Mouth Bock, nor Hoopdick iI-Iernandes, nor K'Butcher,' Brown, nor Kil- luml' Crowder, but our hero, who was sent to the shore first of all to see what danger lurked behind every swaying palm. Yes, these cutthroats were brave men, but the bravest of all was Van,,' that handsome devil. Camp was made and soon all was quiet. Van, who was not asleep, rowed back to the old ship and took Galves out of irons. There they armed themselves and started out to capture the mu- tineers. At the camp Kirschner's absence had been discovered, and the whole island was being searched. Then the mutineers spotted the two, Van and Galves. Swords were drawn and Galves shrank back in fear, but our hero drew his trusty cutlass and with a few swings cut down Butcher, Hoopdick,l' Killum, and Bad Mouth. Still they charged, and learned their mistake too late. Stew, the last of the crew, pulled his gun and fired a shot which found its mark in Kirsch- nerls body, but in our herols last effort he hacked Stew from head to toe. Galves came and blessed the hero, who was sinking into the far beyond. Out of loyalty he named this fair land Kirschner. But in later years the Chamber of Commerce changed the 'island's name to Galveston in memory of Galves. This is the only true historical document of The History of Kirschner Islandf, later named Galveston. Editor's Note: Any resemblance to persons living or dead is pure- ly intentional. Forgive us, Senor Galves. Bitter Disappointments I would speak and move men to deeds of greatness, I would sing and inspire those who hear, I would compose and bring joy and satisfaction, I would write and express in words my thoughts, But the words come out a stutter, The vocal cords don't work together. Notes and harmonies are only confusing, And strangely enough-it takes a mind to write! by Martha McGIathery 113