Axton High School - Axtonian Yearbook (Axton, VA)

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Did you hear about Louis Cole putting fleas in the bus so that every- one could have a buggy ride? Noel Lavender (on entering lunch room) — Do you serve crabs here? Waiter — Certainly. We serve anyone, sit down. Melvin — What is the difference between the front and hind legs of a spider? Miss Lumsden— -Why-er-they’re just a like, only they’re different. Miss Norvell — Doris, will you name the two great Roman epics? Doris — Arabian Nights and Robinson Crusoe. Mrs. Starling— What does “Sic Semper Tyrannis”, the title of the Coast Guard song, mean? Marie — Take your foot off my neck. J. T. Richardson — 1 don’t think I deserve a zero. Miss Bailey — Neither do I, but it’s the lowest mark I’m allowed to give. Marie— Jack told me I was the eighth wonder of the world. Doris— What did you say? Marie — I told him not to let me catch him with any of the seven others Miss Norvell — What are you reading about Lisabetty? Lisabetty— I don’t know. Miss Norvell— You were reading aloud. Lisabetty Yes, but I wasn’t listening. Virginia Jones (to the Mail Carrier) — Is there a letter for me? Mail Carrier — What’s your name? Virginia — It’s on the envelope, can’t you read? Elizabeth Rumley — I wouldn’t marry the best man living. J. P. Wade— I’m sorry you feel that way, but thanks for your com- pliments. Wash Earles was on trial for speeding. Judge — Now, young man, you know when we bring you in here, it is assumed that you are innocent. Wash — Then why do you go to all the trouble to convict me? Louis Cole to John Harris Louis— If you could shoot as well as you eat, you’d be 0. K. John — Well, I’ve only had this gun two days, but I have been practic- ing eating for 17 years. Clifford Stone, in a restaurant — Waiter, this butter is so strong that it could walk over and insult the coffee. Louis Cole— Well, this coffee is so weak it couldn’t do anything about it. Mr. Earles (at F.F. A. banquet)— Young lady, take this chicken away. It is so tough it seems that it is made from stone. Doris Elliott — No wonder, it is plymouth rock. An Axton senior boy and girl had just become engaged. She — Now since we’re engaged, won’t you give me a ring? He — Certainly, dear, what’s your telephone number?

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A LITTLE FUN IN A. H. S. Officer (to Clifford Stone sitting in parked auto with Axton High School girl) — Don’t you see that sign “Fine for Parking”? Clifford Stone — Yes, officer, I see it and heartily agree with it. Osborne Grant — I shall never marry until I meet a girl who is my direct opposite. Virginia Jones — Well, Osborne, there are a number of intelligent girls in Axton, Nellie Minter — Women have cleaner minds than men. John Harris — They ought to, they change them oftener. Miss Lumsden — You see class that chlorophyl is the substance which gives green color to plants Are there any chlorophyl bearing animals? Melvin Winn — Yes, ma’am — freshmen. Miss Bullington — Do you think that late hours are bad for one? Miss Ramsey — Sure, but they’re great for two. Wash Earles — That’s a queer pair of socks you have on, Clifford — one red and the other green. Clifford Stone — Yes, and I’ve another pair like it at home. Frances Hawley — Won’t you sailors have a special ship where you get your hair cut? A sort of floating barber shop? J. P. Wade — No, there aren’t any such ships in the fleet that I shall go in. Frances Hawley — Then what are these clipper ships I’ve heard so much about? Helen Wright — Say, have you noticed the smell in the library lately? Elizabeth Wagner — Oh, that’s nothing— just the dead silence they keep in there. Mrs. Gregory — Very well, but I still say your answer is about as clear as mud. John Harris, — Anyway, that covers the ground; doesn’t it Mrs. Gregory? Osborne Grant — But Wash, why don’t you like girls? Wash Earles — They’re too doggone biased. Osborne Grant — Biased? Wash Earles — Yes, biased. It’s bias this and bias that, until I’m flat broke. During a snow storm in April, at Axton High School, below Miss Bailey’s window, someone started yelling, “Hitler ! Hitler ! Hitler !” Scholars and teachers rushed out to see what was going on. They found Melvin Winn stranded in a mud ho e and he was causing all the commo- tion., Miss Bailey asked, “What are you shouting ‘Hitler’ for”? “If I yelled I was in a mud hole, no one would come to my rescue,” Father to J. P. Wade — I’m sorry you aren’t enthusiastic about your graduation gift. Remember I asked you whether you liked a large check or a small check. J. P. Wade— Yes, Father, but I didn’t know you were talking about neckties.

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ADVICE TO JUNIORS DEAR JUNIORS: There comes a time in every student’s life when he has to give farewell advice to his fellow-workers. For the seventeen of us, the time is at hand to give counsel to our successors, the Seniors of 1945. We have had experience, so we know whereof we speak. We’ve been hollered at, kicked around, abused, scolded, and called down for a million things; but, all in all, we loved the rebuffs we received, and we hate to give them up. The saying goes, “All good things must come to an end”, and we are now beginning to feel the truth of this proverb. My dear Juniors, as we depart, we walk out of your lives with our heads high and our hearts heavy. We place the continuation and progress of this school in your hands, and we trust you ■will prove worthy of this responsibility. However, there is no doubt in our minds but that you will. Take our parting advice. Don’t bounce into your senior year like a March whirlwind and try to take over the school all at once. Everyone knows that the seniors are the “big cheese’’; and the student body is ready to cooperate with you. Keep a level head and guide things to the best of your ability. Work hard; study continually, and make the most of the happiness that is to be yours. Never try to putj anything over on the faculty, or to bluff them without studying. You can’t do it! We tried and we know what will be the outcome. Be loyal to your teachers, and give our Alma Mater your individual attention. NOW, Juniors, is the time for all good students to come to the aid of their school! OUR COUNSEL TO THE INDIVIDUALS OF CLASS ’45 IS AS FOLLOWS: Sheila Burchell is advised to wear dresses more often. Hazel Brumfield, to get a new hobby instead of collecting rings. Nellie Compton, to watch for rivals, if she wants to keep her junior boy. Mamie Sue Eanes, to eat vitamin pills, so she may grow up. Lois Eanes, to study her lesson instead of the movements of her feet. Ellen Earles, to dye her hair before strawberry season. Mary Elliott, to study English. Miss Norvell may not be back next year. Lois Grant, to make up her mind which it is going to be — the Navy or the Marines. Edith Gravely, to store up more energy to resist that “spring fever’’ next year, as she is the laziest of the lazy. Christine Lavender, to do more studying, if she expects to keep ahead of Doris McGuire in Latin. Helen Gregory, to do more brain action and less tongue action. Gladys Hodges, to do less studjnng and more talking, as one can scarcely teU when she is around.