Axton High School - Axtonian Yearbook (Axton, VA)

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A LITTLE FUN IN A. H. S. Officer (to Clifford Stone sitting in parked auto with Axton High School girl) — Don’t you see that sign “Fine for Parking”? Clifford Stone — Yes, officer, I see it and heartily agree with it. Osborne Grant — I shall never marry until I meet a girl who is my direct opposite. Virginia Jones — Well, Osborne, there are a number of intelligent girls in Axton, Nellie Minter — Women have cleaner minds than men. John Harris — They ought to, they change them oftener. Miss Lumsden — You see class that chlorophyl is the substance which gives green color to plants Are there any chlorophyl bearing animals? Melvin Winn — Yes, ma’am — freshmen. Miss Bullington — Do you think that late hours are bad for one? Miss Ramsey — Sure, but they’re great for two. Wash Earles — That’s a queer pair of socks you have on, Clifford — one red and the other green. Clifford Stone — Yes, and I’ve another pair like it at home. Frances Hawley — Won’t you sailors have a special ship where you get your hair cut? A sort of floating barber shop? J. P. Wade — No, there aren’t any such ships in the fleet that I shall go in. Frances Hawley — Then what are these clipper ships I’ve heard so much about? Helen Wright — Say, have you noticed the smell in the library lately? Elizabeth Wagner — Oh, that’s nothing— just the dead silence they keep in there. Mrs. Gregory — Very well, but I still say your answer is about as clear as mud. John Harris, — Anyway, that covers the ground; doesn’t it Mrs. Gregory? Osborne Grant — But Wash, why don’t you like girls? Wash Earles — They’re too doggone biased. Osborne Grant — Biased? Wash Earles — Yes, biased. It’s bias this and bias that, until I’m flat broke. During a snow storm in April, at Axton High School, below Miss Bailey’s window, someone started yelling, “Hitler ! Hitler ! Hitler !” Scholars and teachers rushed out to see what was going on. They found Melvin Winn stranded in a mud ho e and he was causing all the commo- tion., Miss Bailey asked, “What are you shouting ‘Hitler’ for”? “If I yelled I was in a mud hole, no one would come to my rescue,” Father to J. P. Wade — I’m sorry you aren’t enthusiastic about your graduation gift. Remember I asked you whether you liked a large check or a small check. J. P. Wade— Yes, Father, but I didn’t know you were talking about neckties.

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WHO’S WHO? Girls Marie Slaydon Lisabetty Jones Lisabetty Jones Marie Slaydon Marie Slaydon Elizabeth Wagner Marie Slaydon Doris McGuire Lisabetty Jones Helen Wright Mildred Holland Frances Hawley Marie Slaydon Nellie Minter Elizabeth Wagner Elizabeth Wagner Elizabeth Wagner Lisabetty Jones Virginia Jones Frances Hawley Marie Slaydon Lisabetty Jones Lisabetty Jones Mildred Holland Marie Slaydon Lisabetty Jones Elizabeth Rumley Elizabeth Rumley Frances Hawley Nellie Minter. Mildred Holland Mildred Holland Doris McGuire Nellie Minter Elizabeth Rumley Lisabetty Tones Elizabeth Wagner Mildred Holland Marie Slaydon Doris McGuire Lisabetty Tones Mildred Holland Elizabeth Rumley Doris McGuire Mildred Holland Elizabeth Rumley Elizabeth Rumley Jolliest Most Loyal Most Cooperative Friendliest Best Sport Daintiest Wittiest Most Generous Most Intellectual Most Orignial Most Stylish Mcst Talented Most Talkative Qiietest Best Looking Sweetest Cutest Most Thrifty Most Polite Most Obliging Most Energetic Best All Round Most Studious Biggest Flirt Healthiest Most Patriotic Most Independent Biggest Grumbler Most Dignified Most Bashful Laziest Mcst Conceited Gentlest -Old Maid or Old Bachelor. Biggest Bluffer Most Likely to Succeed.. Most Attractive Greatest Social Light Luckiest Neatest Most Ambitious Most Popular Biggest Baby Most Indifferent Best Dancer Teacher’s Pet Biggest Pest Boys Melvin Winn Osborne Grant J. P. Wade Melvin Winn John Harris Wash Earles Melvin Winn Clifford Stone Clifford Stone Melvin Winn Wash Earles Clifford Stone Melvin Winn Osborne Grant Wash Earles Wash Earles Wash Earles John Harris Osborne Grant John Harris Melvin Winn Clifford Stone John Harris J. P. Wade J. P. Wade John Harris Osborne Grant J. P. Wade Osborne Grant Osborne Grant Melvin Winn J. P. Wade Osborne Grant John Harris J. P. Wade Clifford Stone Wash Earles J. P. Wade Melvin Winn Wash Earles John Harris J. P. Wade J. P. Wade Melvin Winn T. p. Wade T. P. Wade J. P. Wade

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Did you hear about Louis Cole putting fleas in the bus so that every- one could have a buggy ride? Noel Lavender (on entering lunch room) — Do you serve crabs here? Waiter — Certainly. We serve anyone, sit down. Melvin — What is the difference between the front and hind legs of a spider? Miss Lumsden— -Why-er-they’re just a like, only they’re different. Miss Norvell — Doris, will you name the two great Roman epics? Doris — Arabian Nights and Robinson Crusoe. Mrs. Starling— What does “Sic Semper Tyrannis”, the title of the Coast Guard song, mean? Marie — Take your foot off my neck. J. T. Richardson — 1 don’t think I deserve a zero. Miss Bailey — Neither do I, but it’s the lowest mark I’m allowed to give. Marie— Jack told me I was the eighth wonder of the world. Doris— What did you say? Marie — I told him not to let me catch him with any of the seven others Miss Norvell — What are you reading about Lisabetty? Lisabetty— I don’t know. Miss Norvell— You were reading aloud. Lisabetty Yes, but I wasn’t listening. Virginia Jones (to the Mail Carrier) — Is there a letter for me? Mail Carrier — What’s your name? Virginia — It’s on the envelope, can’t you read? Elizabeth Rumley — I wouldn’t marry the best man living. J. P. Wade— I’m sorry you feel that way, but thanks for your com- pliments. Wash Earles was on trial for speeding. Judge — Now, young man, you know when we bring you in here, it is assumed that you are innocent. Wash — Then why do you go to all the trouble to convict me? Louis Cole to John Harris Louis— If you could shoot as well as you eat, you’d be 0. K. John — Well, I’ve only had this gun two days, but I have been practic- ing eating for 17 years. Clifford Stone, in a restaurant — Waiter, this butter is so strong that it could walk over and insult the coffee. Louis Cole— Well, this coffee is so weak it couldn’t do anything about it. Mr. Earles (at F.F. A. banquet)— Young lady, take this chicken away. It is so tough it seems that it is made from stone. Doris Elliott — No wonder, it is plymouth rock. An Axton senior boy and girl had just become engaged. She — Now since we’re engaged, won’t you give me a ring? He — Certainly, dear, what’s your telephone number?