Avondale High School - Avonian Yearbook (Avondale, MI)

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Avontraz Penitentiary July A llndependence DayJ 1962 Dear Diary: Conditions in the Big House are going from bad to worse. Guard Fencers caught Dick Sargent, who is up for stealing an apple from the A R P, cutting his toe-nails with a saw smuggled to him by the prison cook, Frances Bohlman, in a birthday cake. Although lawyer Clata Tompkins pleaded his case well, he was sentenced by Warden Crowellinsky to five days in solitary confinement. Ronnie Dixon, another inmate, is spending fifty years here for falling asleep in his beauty parlor and letting Eddie Campbell cook under the permanent- wave machine. With a slip of the hand, Russell Bowker, the manicurist, cut off Jim Gurd's fingers at the knuckles. While washing Charlie Lewis's hair, Carl Neighbors scalded him, so he too is occupying a cell here. It's really amazing how many of the Class of '52 have gotten together here at Avontraz. Why just the other day I saw June Schledorn, who was sent up for telling jokes in church. She won't be here long, but while she is it will relieve the monotony. June has told us some of the latest gossip about our pals on the outside: Joanne Arteaga and Virginia Bowden are managing a Lonely Hearts Club. Don Baker and Theirs Cooper were two of their first customers and now Don and Theira have gotten together and are busy raising a Baker's dozen. Donna Beacom owns the Red Hot Match Factory, Margaret Elkins glues the heads on the matches: Ethel Keller assembles them in the little boxes: and Delores Pohl drives the delivery truck. Ralph and Robert Kaphengst own a night club in New York City. The star dancing team ls Roberta Palmer and Harold Moore. Peggy Nelson is the head bubble dancer. Jack Grusn1ck's swing band provides the music. Members of the band are: Jim Hulen, flute: Lavonne Crittenden, drums: Lanore Clark, trombone: Marion Hartwig, bassoong and Ken Paulson, chimes. Chuck Williams, the famousfuller-brush salesman, and Peg Starkey, barker at a three- ring circus, who are now Mr. and Mrs.,' almost had their marriage broken up by Jerry-the-Great-Lover-Sullivan, but the tough cop, Dan Taliercio, put an end to the brawl and carted Jerry off to the penitentiary. Another new arrival at the penitentiary is Pat Devereaux, who was caught necking in public with door-to-door salesman Pete Seaton who was demonstrating his Non-Smear Lipstick. Pat's first job here at Avontraz was to help Thelma Denton with the dishes. Thelma is chief-cook-and-bottle-washer. Mrs. Rosey, the official paper boy, just came by with the evening paper. As I opened up the paper, the first headline to catch my eye las, 'Melba Koben- ski Fails Againtn It seems that Melka Kerensky Cstage name Melba Kobenskil attempted to swim the English channel, got two hundred yards from the other side,' remembered she forgot her wrist watch, so she swam back after it. Jack Ferguson makes news by living in millionare row with a harem of twenty. Bennie Forbush has gust been the head judge in the Miss America Beauty contest. Much of the news was about Wayne Jaycox, who is running for President against Don Stebhens. On the comic page is a cartoon drawn by Marge Skosich about the Model T Ford which has made Ray Yokey famous. Another news item was about Joanne Malone who has broken the world's record by writing three hundred words a min- ute in shorthand. Lois Pike and Theresa Rattle are now employed by the U. S. Navy. Lois is postmistress and Theresa a censor. Tom Palmer, the noted scien- tist, has invented a three-wheeled jeep which will go forty-five miles Der hour! These Jeeps are now manufactured in mass production ln Ken Goltry's novelty factory. In the Lost and Found oolum I read: nLost: One of Opal Sheehy's twenty-four children while on march to Bev LaForge and Pat Cannon's nursery. Reading the society pane, I learned that Ida Seeger is in Hawaii trying to learn the hula hula. On the sports page I read that Jerry Sigler is coaching a basket ball team of seven-footers. Carol Laing is his star center and Ella Jean Taylor is water-boy. Glancing through the ads I saw that Kathryn Kramp was urging everyone to come and learn her special roller skating technique. Bob Boner is advertising drastically reduced prices for his services as an undertaker. As I laid aside the paper, I peered between the bars and much to my sur- prise I saw the electric chair operator, Mr. Thaker, marching Helen Ward to the dungeon. She was guilty of setting off her fire crackers two days before the Fourth of Julyl Now it is 7:30--time for lights out, and another long sleepless night of lying here regretting my terrible crime of wearing jeans to baccalaureate for which I have been sentenced to life imprisonment in Avontraz Penitentiary. Repentantlygyours, Jerry Tom No. 1575593210

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g ' T if A -N -r N X Q51 5 j Q Q J ' f V L MOCK ELECTION Best Looking... .... Most All-round .... ... Best Dressed... .... Great Lovers..., .... Class Musicians... .... Most Flirtations .... ... Class Orators .... ... Jol11est..... Best Dancers... .... Best Athletes ........... ... Most Likely to Succeed ........ Most Courteous ......... .... Class Pessimists... .... Class Pests ...... .... Teacher's Pets .... ... Most Studious ....... .... Late for Everything .... ... Most Pcpu1ar....... Class Optimists... .... .Ben Forbush... .Dick Sargent.. BOYS Jack Ferguson.... ... Chuck 0 0 0 0 0 Bob Boner...... ... Don Baker... Jerry Sigler... ... Jim Gurdooee Harold Moore... . Harold Moore... ... Jim Hulen..... Tom Pa1mer.... Dan Taliercio .... . Ronnie Dixon... .... Ray Yokey... Ben Forbush.... Tom Palmer.... Harold Moore... Ray Yokey... GIRLS .Roberta Palmer ....Carol Laing ..Kathryn Kramp .Roberta Palmer .Roberta Palmer .Roberta Palmer ......Jerry Tom ..Marge Skosich .Melka Kerensky ..Theira Cooper ....Jerry To .....Ida Seeger Frances Bohlman .Melka Kerensky ....Opal Sheehy ......Jerry Tom .Melka Kerensky ....Carol Laing ..Marge Skosich