Avon High School - Boomerang Yearbook (Avon, IL)

Page 30 text:

THE BOOMERANG In the afternoon I took in a show. You can imagine my delight to find Carvl Witter the heroine of the talkie movie. When her golden voice came to me, it brought hack the good old times we had in school. Inquiring of my guides, I learned that Caryl had become a famous movie actress and had found happiness after she married her seventh husband. The vaudeville presented a delightful dancing act featuring Doris Lemon. After the show 1 interviewed her long enough to find out that she had been a very popular singer and dancer in deaf, dumb, and blind schools. The next act was a very good piano solo, and the player turned out to be Gertrude Mills. I was unable to talk with her; but from her looks, she had had a very happy life. Coming out of the theater, I had the misfortune to be struck by an automobile driven by Catharine Gillett. She had been verv gossiping with Lucy Shumaker and had failed to see me. However, I was uninjured, so I got up and begged their pardon for getting in their wav. They were glad to sec me and told me all their lives. Cath- arine had discovered and perfected a practical route to Mars, which made her a multi-billionaire. Lucy had been successful as a housekeeper for absent minded professors. I guess I have seen all the gang now, I said to Evelyn. Now where do I sleep»? Oh, you don't get to stay here, she replied. Well, where do I go from here, then? I asked. I’ll show you the way, volunteered Grace. They took me to an elevator door, and who do you suppiose was the elevator boy? None other than Mac, our old janitor. I bade the friendly angels good-bvc and stepped into the compartment. Just then I was very shocked to hear Mac say, Going down. Lachlan Crissev Think of saving as well as getting.

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 THE BOOMERANG HEREAFTER The last thing I remember was being lowered into my grave. When I regained the use of my faculties I was facing a new world. And whom do you suppose I saw? There were two beautiful angels gently playing upon harps. When they came closer I was surprised to find that they were Evelyn Niles and Grace Potter, classmates of mine way back in 1929. After all these years I was overjoyed to see them. Hello, Lach, old kid, they cried. Glad to see you. We'll show you around this joint. Business hasn't been so good lately, so we have plenty of time and will let you see your old classmates. You were lucky; you arc the last one to kick off. I’d sure like to sec the old gang again. I haven't seen some of the bunch since our class reunion in 1929, I replied. Well, here's the old cut-up, Louis Palmer, they said. I found that he had spent a successful life as a truant officer for a correspondence school in Borneo. He was now assistant to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates Then I found the great athlete, Bert Alden. After being the Governor of Georgia for fifty vears he had passed from that world and was now St. Pete's right hand cop. Presently I ran across Rea Walker in the role of Justice of the Peace He told me that he had represented Illinois in the Senate for many years before taking up his present abode. He also introduced me to Eula Buck, who was his stenographer. As we ambled on through the Holy City, another sweet faced angel appeared, and it was none other than Juanita Sebrcc. The three angels then rendered a beau- tiful song entitled Lace Up Your Shoe, Your Tongue's Hanging Out. That was mighty fine, girls; but how did you learn to sing so well?” Oh, we ll have to show you our instructor, they cried. They led me to the conservatory; and there was my old pal Donald Hatch, teach- ing angels how to sing. Talking with him, I found that he had been a great opera singer in Central Africa until his voice broke. Well, girls, where do we eat? was my next question. They took me to a lunch room around the corner. There Urith Cutforth dished me out some beans. She had established a chain of Maid-Rite lunch rooms all over the Sahara Desert. I picked up a paper to glance at the stock quotations on cat guts for harp strings, and to my surprise Bernadinc Spurgeon was the editor of the paper. I immediately looked her up and had a lone talk with her. Although she would say little con- cerning herself, I gathered that she had been a very popular short-storv writer and journalist in Labrador. While 1 was there, Alf Raymond dropped in He had been the business manager of a large electric fan corporation in Siberia and was now the president of the Last National Bank. A life of leisure and a life of laziness are tuo things.

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THE BOOMERANG SENIOR WILL Wc, the distinguished and amiable class of '29, in full possession of a sound mind, and in accordance with the precedent set by our predecessors, do make and publish this, our last will and testament, hereby revoking any previous wills heretofore made. In order that these bequests and pet habits, which wc so generously contribute for the general well-being of our successors and certain needful persons, will not be abused, wc arc obliged to make certain provisions, such as are stated. Item I: Wc, the Seniors, do will and bequeath to the Juniors our honored position as head of the school, our privileges, and the responsibilities of the publication of The Boomerang.” Item 11: To the Sophomores and Freshmen we leave the advice, which our years of experience have prepared and enabled us to give that they follow in our foot- steps and copy our virtues, so they may eventually attain that goal toward which they arc striving. Item III: We as individuals, do conscientiously bestow the following gifts and virtues: I, Gertrude Mills, do will and bequeath mv constant flow of conversation to Gladys Orwig, providing she give it a rest once in a while. I, Lewis Palmer, do will and bequeath my irrestiblc wit to Billy Gordan, pro- viding he use it as advantageously as I do. 1, Juanita Sebrce, do will and bequeath my unassuming qualities to Vernon Hinman in order that he may appear more dignified. I, Evelyn Niles, do will and bequeath my surplus advoirdupois to Gail Stice in order that it may improve his appearance. 1, Alf Raymond, do will and bequeath my privilege of teaching physics class in the absence of Mr. Reeve to Lyle Keller, providing he exert as much authority as I do. I, Urith Cutforth, do will and bequeath my unusual knowledge in American History to Helen Hatch. I, Catharine Gillett, do will and bequeath my silly giggle to Daylc Quigglc in order that she may hereafter be heard as well as seen. I, Bert Alden, do will and bequeath the position I have held on the basket ball team to Lawrence Carr. I, Grace Potter, do will and bequeath my stenographic abilities to Marv Wall in order that she may become more proficient. 1, Doris Lemon, do will and bequeath my pep to Millicent Rood, providing she accept the position of yell leader. I, Lachlan Crissey, do will and bequeath my fondness for lillies to Verl Clayton, providing he prove as attentive as I have been. The diligent spinner has a large shift.