Avon High School - Boomerang Yearbook (Avon, IL)

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 CThr Sonmrrang izxprrimrnt 52 Scene: Laboratory of Avon Community High. Time: May 9, 1922. Dramatis Personae: Mr. Reeve, instructor; Members of Class of ’22. Act I. Discovered: Seniors seated about tables fingering apparatus, as usual. Mr. Reeve: Today we have our last laboratory experiment in Physics No. 52, I believe it is. Now read your instructions carefully before you begin. (A few min- utes of silence in which class feverishly reads the experiment.) Mr. Reeve: Now everyone give me his attention for a few minutes while I ex- plain this apparatus. It is a very powerful telescope which enables us to see into the future. So far as I know it is the only instrument of its kind in existence. Be very careful when you manipulate the lever which adjusts the lens because the mech- anism is very delicate and the least little jar might destroy our chances of seeing into the future. Doris (aside): That means you, Verne. Verne: Now Doris, shut up. Doris (still in whisper): You better go last, Verne, so that it won’t make any difference if you did break it. It would be a shame to spoil the last day by not break- ing something. (Verne contemplates Doris in silence, trying to think of a fitting re- ply)- Mr. Reeve: Now everyone must tell just what he sees and what conclusions he draws. Since we have only one set of apparatus each one will have to come sepa- rately. Verne, you may perform the experiment first. Verne: (rising and slowly approaching telescope) Aw, they always pick on me. (looks) Oh, boy! Mr. Reeve: (anxiously) What do you see? Verne: A row of pretty girls kneeling before me. Mr. Reeve: And what are your conclusions? Verne: Gosh, I only wish I knew. Mr. Reeve: (smiling) You need not be alarmed. It simply means that you will be an eloquent evangelist. Nettie! Nettie: (looking through lens) I see myself playing in a great concert and some- body is singing. I don’t know who it is. Mr. Reeve: Look more closely. You surely know him. Nettie: Raymond! ! ! (faints). (Much commotion until she is revived.) Raymond: No wonder she fainted! Mr. Reeve: Vera! (Vera looks in telescope) What do you see? Vera: (rubbing lens and looking again) It’s funny, but I can’t see anything but a mark. Howard: Well, isn’t that enough? Mr. Reeve: Philip, next, (pause) What do you see? Philip: There’s a man at a table working on some kind of device. I don’t know what it i$. Lester: If he’s working, Phil, then it surely isn’t you. Mr. Reeve: Oh, yes, it is Philip and he’s a great inventor. But don’t you recog- nize the invention? Think! It’s something you need very badly, (pause.) Why an automatic thinker, of course! Sadie!

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Clip ifuuimmmn G !■ - ' (Q 13. Raymond Drake shall be compelled to report weekly, why on certain days he combs his pompadour with such great care. 14. Eileen Spurgeon may have the power to provide and maintain a comortable parlor davenport, the occupants to be chosen of her own will. 16. The right of deciding the punishment to anyone attempting to counterfeit the captivation caused by her eyes and her musical ability, is granted to Nettie Mills. 16. The Government hereby grants to Sadie Kreps the power of organizing, arm- ing, and disciplining the faculty, and for governing each one of them employed in the seivice of A. H. S. 17. It shall be ti e inalienable right of Florence Day to declare class holidays whenever excess of social functions, need of rest and recreation, or similar necessity deems such holidays of vital importance to the class. AMENDMENTS I. No person shall be punished by a verdict of the faculty unless by a unanimous vote of the student body. II. Gum chewing regulation: A target shall be placed in the front of the assem- bly room, and lower classmen will be required to hull their gum in the center of this target, in order that their successors may have it for future use. BILL OF RIGHTS Talking in halls, chewing gum, sitting on arm chairs, eating candy, writing notes in Study Hall, speaking without permission, being tardy to classes are the rules for the government and regulation of the Avon High School forces. VERA BRANDT, ’22. Qau Drrams nf a SwtUir I have often wondered At this Senior Class of ours; If our life’ll be free from blunders, And our pathway filled with flowers; If the lessons that we hate. And the pleasures that we love. Won’t prove on some unceitr.in date. The best things are several rungs above. I have often wondered In this Senior Class of ours. Why the girls like to look as loud as thunder. Pile high their hair in ratty towers: Why they wear their dresses short Like the days in late December; They are, however, just the sort A feller likes ter remember. I have often wondered 'Bout this Senior Class of ours; When twenty years has been dragged under. If the teachers still will look as sour As they do on Monday Morn; If the boys will still be dreaming About the girl who has torn His every thought away. VERNE C. CONWAY, ’22.

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 Slip Ulumnrrann m .......—■♦ D Sadie: (looking into telescope) I seem to be teaching something Latin, I guess, but everyone seems to be talking in a language I can’t understand. May: Then I’m sure it’s Latin. Mr. Reeve: (glancing at clock) Our time is getting short so we’ll have to hurry. Edith, you may come next. What do you see? Edith: I’m having an awful time, running around to luncheons and clubs and lectures. But I don’t know what it means. Mr. Reeve: (slightly provoked) Think! You can all reason these things out if you only use a little head woik. What does it mean? (pause) Class? Class: (in unison) That she’s a modern woman. Mr. Reeve: To be sure! Eula! Eula: (peering into the instrument) Oh, I see lots of white things jumping about in a line. And there’s a great big white thing bobbing about in front. Mr. Reeve: And what are your conclusions? Eula: I don’t know, I’m sure. Lester: (in loud whisper) Ghosts! Mr. Reeve: (paying no attention to Lester) Doris? Doris: That Eula is conducting a class in Greek dancing. Mr. Reeve: Of course! Lester! Lester: (after pause) I’m standing before the Justice of the Peace. I must be arrested or something, (pause) And there’s a lady standing by me! Class roars with laughter) Mr. Reeve: (smiling) You’d better look again. Perhaps you’re getting married. Lester: (obeying instructions) Why the justice is Maude! (looks again) And the lady is Doris! ! ! (collapses with joy) Doris: (blushing) Oh, this is so sudden! (bell rings) Mr. Reeve: Only five minutes so we’ll have to hurry. Howard, next. Howard: (looking) I’m writing something -sport news, I guess. Mr. Reeve: Correct so far, but go on. Auto racing, baseball, prize fighting or what? Howard: Auto racing, I suppose, because I see an automobile coming amid a cloud of dust, (silence) Whoopie! it’s a “Douglas Racer.” Mr. Reeve: Yes, to be sure. And what do you conclude from that? Howard: That Doug is a great automobile manufacturer. Mr. Reeve: All right. Edna! Edna: I’m sitting in a cozy little living room demonstrating cosmetics to some- body. Why it’s Celeste. Mr. Reeve: Go on. Is that all? Edna: Celeste is apologizing for a wierd whistle that comes from the next room. I guess she married a Whisler. Mr. Reeve: Quite true. Next, Eileen. Eileen: This old thing must not be working right. I see Irene working at a can- vas—and there is Florence posing for her but I’m not there. Mr. Reeve: Oh, yes you are. Look again, closely. Eileen: Oh, yes, over in the other end of the room. I seem to be coaching a play or something. Mr. Reeve: That is precisely what you are doing. May! (bell rings imperatively) Mr. Reeve: Class is excused. Class: That’s not fair; May has to perform the experiment too. Verne: Oh that isn’t necessary. We all know she’ll be an old maid school ma’am. MAY YEOMAN, ’22.