Avoca Central School - Avocan Yearbook (Avoca, NY)

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22 THE AVOCAN LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT We, the members of the class of 1925, having reached the end of our scholastic career, and though somewhat fatigued by incessant mental toil, but still of sound mind, memory, and understanding, do make and publish this, our last VVill and Testament, hereby revoking and making void all former wills by us at any time heretofore made. As to our worldly estate, and all the property. real, personal, or mixed, or to which we shall be entitled at the time of our decease, we bequeath. and dis- pose thereof in the manner following, to wit: FIRST-WC direct that our obsequies shall be conducted in such manner as is becoming to our social standing, due mention to be made of our activities in behalf of this school, hoping that our pallbearers will be men of strong muscles and our mourners ready to lament our demise. SECOND-We give and bequeath to our beloved faculty all the amazing knowledge and startling information that we have furnished them from time to time in our examination papers. XVe know that much which we have im- parted to them in this way must have been entirely new to them as well as to all teachers and students everywhere. and would throw much new light on many hitherto familiar lines of thought throughout the world of science and learning, even outside the halls and walls of Avoca High School. THIRD-In order to show good will towards the Sophomores, we bequeath to them a copy of an Old Farn1er's Almanac, which will help them to steer clear of many an approaching storm. It will enable them quickly and surely to read in their instructor's countenance, as he enters the classroom, what will be the nature and conditions of movements during the day. FOURTH-TO the Freshman Class we will any overlooked cuds of gum we may have left adhering to the underside of desks, bannisters, assembly seats, or any likely or unlikely places. XVe have sometimes had to rid ourselves of these in too much haste to be able to pick and choose the most desirable means of disposal. FIFTHLWC give and bequeath to the junior Class, as a student body, our knowledge of economics, philosophy, art, science, and the universe, in whole or in part. VVe trust the class may be able to survive it. The following may seem but trifling bequests, but we hope they may be accepted, not as worthless things lavishly thrown away because we can no longer keep them, but as valuable assets to those who may receive them, and a continual reminder of the generosity of heart displayed in our free will and full bestowal. FIRST-To PRoFEssoR SMITH: a sum of money to be used in buying a pair of rubber shoes for detective work. VVe feel he will be sure to need them in dealing with the classes that are to be our successors. SECOND-To ALL FUTURE CLASS PRESIDENTS : Rodney O. Newman's ability to convince Professor Smith of the said President's unerring judgment.

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THE AVOCAN 21 First, behind a small counter stood Adair Stannarius, shouting, 'Fish, for sale.' I never thought that of our old time brilliant junior president! Next I beheld Hazel Olmstead as the sole proprietor of a garage which dealt in the 'Chryslers' exclusively. There appeared a large convent and in its interior I recognized Frances Carroll. Having been disappointed in some love affair of her high school days Frances had become a nun! Out in the XVest Lyman Shults was pictured as a cowboy of great and wonderful bravery. XVith Lyman I also noticed Lawrence XVessels. He was engaged in break- ing all specimens of nmle life. - 'lfhere appeared before me a dainty lady of society envied and flattered by all. the queen of every ball-lirnestine Pierce. Milo Sick was a professor of languages in a high school in the middle W'est. XVe know he is grateful for all the knowledge given him in Caesar by the :Xvoca High School. As a private secretary of a broker I found Mildred Bloy. Ifver since her high school days Mildred had shown a strange liking for business men. Next I saw a banker, riding in his aeroplane, counting out his money, wear- ing diamonds. His name? Ah yes, Daniel Cragg. As a ticket seller for the Avoca merry-go-round Laura Smalt had acquired the name of a vamp.', I saw Lydia Hees as a detective employed by the New York police force to discover illegal engagements and marriages. It was revealed that I-Iarriet Milford, after having traveled extensively, had created a new religion in a foreign country. On a sign in one of the largest cities I read A Second Melba-greatest opera singer of the day--Myrtle Towner! I found Francis Loop engaged as a physical training teacher in a large high school. I-Ie was employed especially to give instructions to exercise the muscles of the face. I was now eager to learn my own fate and glanced anxiously at the flames. As soon as my eyes rested on them they suddenly died down and the fire went out and so I was left uncertain of my future. --Velda Ackley. 1'-I tw d, ...wg ,, . ' -aw W 'von - vfk .1 . .1 6' 4-T f Mi r' 5-fs fix ni wr . id' xiii-'il -- .via 1359 it 'Je Wifi: ' I -, l I . - 1-' Q'-1 'fri 42 . if: .... . Q.

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THE AVOCAN 23 THIRD-TO SOME BENIGHTED FRESHMAN : anybody who will accept them as they are yet unclaimed-Leah jones' troubles. FOURTH-TO HAZEI. OLMSTEAD: a Chrysler sedan because we know she likes a Chrysler best. FIFTH-TO LAURA SMALT: the opportunity of becoming acquainted with French habits and Customs without taking a trip to France. SIXTH-T0 LYMAN SHULTS: a pretty girl whom we shall call Gleomargarine because he can't get any but her tbutterj. SEVENTH-TO FRANCES CARRoLI.: a Shetland pony so that she may take at least two trips a week to Bath. Automobiles. gasoline, and accessories are so expensive! EIGHTH-To NIILO SICK: we bequeatth the key to fame in Latin Prose. NINTII-TO LYDIA HEEs: this excellent bit of advice which we hope she will follow: Wfhen you're forming your opinions Do it carefully, go slow! Hasty judgements oft are followed By regretting. that I know. TENTH-TO FRANCIS LOOP! the right to become a general agent for 'a talking machine. ELEVENTH-TO ADAIR STANNARIUS: a number of white-washed boards to be used in patching the fence along the state highway between Wallace and Cohocton, on the left side of the road, going north. TWELETH-To ELLEN LOUISE ARNOLD! a package of Kellogg's Bran. THIRTEENTH-TO MYRTLE TowNER: Leah jones' book on Hairdressing FOURTEENTH-T0 HARRIS MII.FoRn: a share of Ralph D. l7rench's thirty- seveu varieties of sweethearts. FIFTEENTH-TO OLIVE PARTRIIJGE: the agency Iof the following cars: jordan, Chevrolet, and Dodge, XVe notice that she shows more partiality to a Dodge sedan than to a touring. XVe know she has good judgment and will leave it to her to determine the better. SIXTEENTH-TO LAWRENCE VVEssELs: we bequeathed the hardest key to turn. VVhat is it? A don-key of course! SEVENTEENTH-TO ERNESTINE PIERCE: Mary Shults' gift of gab and gossip. EIGHTEENTH-T0 VVILMA MooRE: the privilege of reducing her list of beaux to one. NINETEENTH-To DANIEI. CRAGG: a gold medal bearing the inscription Champion Liar which he may present to certain persons to save himself the embarrassment 'of saying, l don't believe it's so. TWENTIETH-T0 MII.DRED BLOY: we bequeath Rodney O. NCWH1HH,S power of oratory.