Augustana Hospital School of Nursing - Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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.TMLQQQQ 5535! A Tragedy of a Germ A protoplasmic parasite Loved a little lady germg And he expressed his love for her By wiggle, twist, and squirm. But each of his contortionings The maiden misconstrued, And each time he sought her side She'd cleverly elude. He tried in all the manners known His burning love to tell But always as he'd flow her way She'd duck behind a cell- .f- .i One day, in fury at her acts He chased her down a vein And, at each pulsing of the heart This parasite would gain From Vena Cava, thru the heart And to the lungs she spedg But he was always close behind On a corpuscle red. Thru every tubercle known to man And some we must discover She fled upon the serum fluid Her nucleated lover. 0 1... .4 .,-f-' f -l 'T' na-rg, . As at Pmbaliowen SEESHERSELF As A Jumnoa Doss- As AN lwreamsnims pots- As A SENOR Doss Tell me not in mournful numbers Linen closets are an empty dream Though the shelves are bare and stockless Supervisors are not what they seem. Sophie L.: 'LAre, you working in the operating room now, Kitty? Kitty: No, I'm in the instrument room. Naomi has also discovered that bed spreads are not gotten by chance at the Extension. Nurse in Kiddie's Ward: I have something nice for you. Little Boy: Aw you can't fool me. That's castor oil and cabbage juice. With charity for none and malice toward all, Doctors, supervisors, probies and all No one escapes this terrible blast, Make your will while your character lasts It is well to have lots of pep, Miss jones, but leave tue tubes alone especially if they have just been painted red. Doctor, my brother fell into a hole and wrenched his knee and now he limps What would you do in a case like that? Dr. Deuss: I am afraid I should limp too. Page seventy-night

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ATUHIEQQEXQ 5535! TOO GFTEN HEARD AT AUGUSTANA: V Fat and be merry, For tomorrow I diet. Miss Berg: Nurses must not eat on the floor. 'LWell, as if we would put it there in the first place. ' Holtan: 'Tm not going to bed yet, I can't sleep on a full stomach. Gunny: Sleep on your back then. Doctor: L'Describe a sprained ankle. Sophie Luiid- Well, it's swelled and you can't step on it. Warren: Do you mind if I smoke? Bess Kubec: L'No, I clon't care if you burn. Miss Kroncke fin Dietetics classj: Name three things containing starch. Miss Grove: Two cuffs and a collar. Frank had been away at school and had learned many new words. On arrivf ing home he put them into practice. - Mother, may I extinguish the light? A Mother: L'Extinguish-what's that? Frank: F,xtinguish means to put out. Later: May I relate a narrative, Mother? Narrative-what's that? 'LThat's a tale. Later-Mothe1': Frank take the dog by the narrative and extinguish him. A little negro was so black all his white friends called him Midnight. He did not mind them calling him that but when one of his own tribe one day said, Hello Midnight, he said, Shut up' you'sel jes 'bout a quahtah to twelve yo'self. rg, HINTS TO PATIENTS: If you want a nurse, ring a towel. If you have no watch listen to the bed tick. 1-, 'P ' 7, l . If you want water, use the bed spring. - , If you are hungry, take a roll. Do not speak to the dumb waiter. I WE THANK U I I I J ' 2 ARE YOU HIGHLY EDUCATED? I 'ff xx at .L. TEST YOURSELF-YOU CAN- 'L W6 0- RET Lie in the bed of a river. Lua! xx jecfovvxef Bring tears to. the eye of a potato. C, Fly on the wings of time. og DKNY QA YNWWC . Walk on the bridge of your nose. Shingle the roof of your mouth. Page seventy-seven

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i NTHJIIEFQEXQ 5355! Edith C. frelating her experiences after a day's work on second floorj: 'LWe got a nice new patient today. Marie J.: How do you know he's nice? Edith C.: Oh he brought his own night shirt along. V Embarrassing mistakes are sometimes made due to the dim lights in the linen rooms. L Naomi N. lcharge on 4th floorj spied a graduate ,nurse looking over her linen. Now all nurses who have ever been charges know what feelings must have been aroused in the soul of Naomi as she contemplated the danger to her precious sheets and towels at the ruthless hands of a special nurse and with true heroism came to the defense of her priceless store, What the dingfding are you doing here? Miss Cleven fsupervisorj: 'LI am just investigating whether you will need more linen. But Naomi had faded out. 'ty 4 f W Q Q E 'E -H1 mg, x -an 6 'x UY l Usa, b Mfrs br W 0 Wham 0 vxb vxuv 36, ,. Lillian Radzom ffussing about her photo proofsj: Darn it! I'l1 have to have them taken over. Girls fin surprisej: Why what's the matter with them? Lil: Why don't you see? They look like me. Hazel O.: Have you' read Freckles? ' Olga C.: No, thank goodness, mine are light brown. Lil O.: Gee, Bill, tell me what would you advise Katy to do, she has broken her nose in two places. Bill: Tell her to stay out of such places. Patient fworried about his conditionj: Nurse, I have a pain in my right side. Do you think it's pneumonia? But, no my lungs are on the left side, aren't they? Page .ve-'venly-nine