Auburn High School - Trojan / Oracle Yearbook (Auburn, IL)

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 secretary to Lenine. I was too horrified for words. Trotzky didn’t like my looks and he had me flown out of Russia. I flew till provisions failed me and I landed on the Sandwich Islands. While landing I nearly ran over Sam Stout. He was as much or more surprised than myself for I had begun to look for classmates anywhere, anytime. Sam had lived on these islands so long that he began to look like a sandwich. While I was there he argued his fellow sandwiches out of a weeks salary. After the airplane had been stocked with sandwiches, I left as I was getting behind the county record. I had also wanted to visit the great cheese factories of Holland and so I turned my plane in that di- rection. I went directly to the factories and walked through. Surprises never end. Working in this factory were Estelle Steele and Velma Mc- Ginnis making holes for the cheese and Gertrude Luedke was pouring the cheese around them. I praised their good work. They gave me a sample of the cheese and it certainly was good, especially the holes. It seemed that all of my classmates had found good positions. I was still eating samples when Gertrude said, “Cheese it the boss is coming.” I knew the place wasn’t big enough for us both so I left. I lost my map in the cheese and soon was lost. I landed, by accident, in Armenia. I noticed a large food line by the side of a stand and I investigated. I was going to get a free meal but, when my turn came, I saw Celia Barbee handing out the food. She was feeding the starving Armenians who were fleeing from the Turks. I was touched by their condition and I not only gave up my meal but also brought over a sandwich from my plane and donated it to the great cause. Celia had given up her pleasures to keep the starving Armenians from starving. She told me of the ter- rible condition of the Armenians and the cruelty of the Turks. I decided to go over to Turkey to settle this war. On arriving I asked for the com- mander-in-chief of the Turkish armies. None other than Paul Ingels walked out to meet me. I was surprised that Paul was so cruel. He was tall and wore a Turkish mustache. I told him of the condition of the Ar- menians but he was indifferent. I finally told him of Celia’s work. He left the room in a hurry. I waited a few days for him but then left. The next I heard of him was that he was head of the Armenian army. I wondered what could have made him change. After much traveling, I landed at New York. My first act was to go to the Ziegfield Follies where I heard that Helen Christopher was the star. She certainly had become a great actress and was one of the reigning beauties of vaudeville. She introduced me to the great stars of the show. I promised that I would return the following evening, then went to a tea shop. On entering I saw a sign coffee 5c. I had some coffee. On the menus was written Frances Comerford, Prop. I was soon talking to her. She had become rich in business and was taking life easy. I drank another cup of coffee and then left for Auburn. I had gained much on the county record so I stopped at a great park out of Auburn. Charles and Harry Irwin were owners. They told me they had built it up from hard labor to a great park. I agreed it was a great park but wasn’t sure of the hard labor. Twenty-three

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CTjjUjj-UijU» im gJJ liyOTnraffjSU» second, but soon I saw Ada Masteron and Mayme Harnly who were mis- sionaries to this country. I should never have recognized them as they were made up as Japanese for safety. They told me that they had already saved five natives and had hopes for another. I gave them great praise and promised to send each one a gallon of the substitute when I returned to Auburn. I left Japan and I had to hurry because I was 3 seconds be- hind the county record for that distnace and I sped up to 33 miles an hour. I started towards Bohemia when I was forced to land and so was the plane. My map told me that isle was Borneo. I had scarcely landed when wild men attacked me and carried me to their chief. I could not at first recognize him but he recognized me and saved my head and neck. At a second glance I knew the form of Steve Allen, who had grown since I had last seen him. He then explained to me how he dreaded work so he came to Borneo and was elected chief. He fed me on bananas for three days while I made necessary repairs on my airplane. I then flew away leaving Steve at his palace gate. I landed fairly safe in Bohemia and secured a room for the night. I was about asleep when a noise disturbed me and I went to investigate. There by a candle, which was burning, I found Robert Ernst. He had changed greatly. His hair was white from studying so much. He had lost much sleep and food. I bought him a hot dog and cheered him up. He told me he had worked for years trying to prove Angle A equals to Angle B. I proved it for him and tried to persuade him to return to America. I have heard that he did and had become normal again and dyed his hair. The climate in Bohemia did not agree with me or my plane, so I left on the fly. I journeyed over to Hungary to see a great musician. He was busy with a lesson so I waited. Soon he came out with Janet Mc- Murdo. 1 immediately began talking to her and heard that she had come over here to study the Hungarian Rhapsody. She was soon to give a series of recitals all over Europe. She had to leave so I looked around for her teacher but he was gone too so I left. Motor trouble forced me to carry my plane to Italy and I was given a reception by the King. To my surprise John Carlino called and I went to his home with him. John was now the spaghetti king of Italy. He had grown fat and wore a mus- tache. He had money in abundance now and was married. I told him of my meeting with other classmates and he laughed at their sudden change in life. I laughed also, but at Johnny. I had my motor repaired so I left Johnny making spaghetti and went to the Canary islands, and there among the Canaries was Helen Suydan, singing her old favorite “Charlie My Boy”. She could sing better than the canaries now and she told me of her intention to l'eturn to the U. S. and concertize. I encouraged her to go and she promised she would. We had quite a feast of boiled canaries and then I left, singing, happily on my way. Even the airplane began to sing softly to itself as I glided along. Bing in a warm climate so long, I decided to go north, maybe to the north pole. I landed in the Russian capital and went to visit Trotzky. While waiting I noticed Tressie Crafton fixing her hair. I asked how she happened to be in this country. She said that she and Mildred Jones had come to-gether and that she was secretary to Trotzky and Mildred was Twenty-two

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jWJJJ lAi!jiifjwjjs ywywj ii!! ii jnj FVSE i g| 5S The park was built since I had left on my flight, so it had grown |j rapidly. I went on to Auburn and went to the Bijou theatre. When I ■a returned, it was being run by Mable Mendam and Eunice Foster. They a sure knew how to run a theatre. They had only first class pictures. I a always knew the education they had received at high school here would help them. I went over to a restaurant to eat and there was Thelma Baker run- ning the business. Hugh Geddes was a waiter there and seemed to like it. I stayed in town a few days and the business kept increasing so much that finally Thelma increased Hugh’s salary. I returned with the substitute still in the tank and Vincent and I now run a substitute filling station, but the customers never come back. James Murphy. SENIOR CLASS POEM The goal we’ve all looked forward to We’ve gained this very year, Our school we leave with sadness, Fond memories linger near. Thro’ our four years of High School We have tried to do our best, We have studied, and recited And have written every test. We have loved our friends and teachers Who to us have been so true. We shall ever treat with reverence Our dear White and Navy Blue Tho’ we leave our friends and classrooms And from the A. H. S. we go, Out into the world of battles We shall conquer every foe. We have tried to take an active part In affairs of Auburn High, We will to you our places, Our departing time is nigh. Our boys in athletics Have gained for us a name In basket-ball and foot-ball They’ve won their way to fame. They’ve always shown good sportsmanship And played their games so well But to the others of the team They’ll bid you now farewell. We seniors now will leave you, Our parting time is nigh, We launch, where shall we anchor? Farewell, dear Auburn High. Lauretta McLaughlin. 'iwenty-four rTiiivirrsvir gvi r?»v; rTa irTsvi