Auburn Maine School of Commerce - Ray Yearbook (Auburn, ME)

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PRETTY FIX Dupont: UCan you fix this fen- der so my father will never know I bent it?W ' Garage Mechaniczx UNO, but I can fix it so that you can ask him in a few days how he bent it.U TALKING BACK Evelyn: You deceived me befbre we were married. You told me you were well off.H Bryant: NI was, but I didn't know it.W TALL TAILS Bouchard: HIt was socold where we were that the candle froze and we couldn't blow it out.H B. Drown: WThat is nothing. Where we were the words came out of our mouths in pieces of ice, and we had to fry them to see what we were talking about.H EXCLUSIVE nYes,H :said Charlie D., Hmy family can trace its ancestry back to William11w Conqueror.W WI suppose,W Esaid Eddie S., UYouWRbe telling us that your ancestors were in the Ark with Noah?n WCertainly not,Nsaid Hmy people had aboat of 'their own.W Charlie, SLOW TRAINS When C. Keene was in England he was giving some illustra- tions of the size of his counF try. NYou can board a train in the state of Texas atdawn,W he said impressively,H and twenty-four hours later you'll still be in Texas.H - NYes,N said one of his English listeners, HWe've trains like that, too.W assess . What did one rock say to the other? Qans.D Move closer and we will be a little boulder. THE HEEL! UI don't like Bill,N said G Beauparlant. HLast night I wanted to show him how wal I could whistle,and ammr I got my lips all puckered up--.W HYes, yes, what did hado?H WHe let me whistle.H I DANGEROUS. HCan I interest you in an attachment for your typewnter, Drouin?U WNothing doing! I'm stiB.pay- ing alimony on account of the attachment I had for my last one.H LOUSY JOKET NLittle boy, do both.ymm dogs have licenses?W WYes, sir! They're bothjust covered with them. LOGIC ' Mrs. Seavey: WMay, how much does a tmive-pound.mDtweigh?W May: lafter deep thoughtl I don't know.H Mrs. Seavey: does the lO o'f:lock train leave? May: nAt 10 o'clock.W M.S.: NThen how much does a twelve-pound shot-weigh?H May: fbrighteningjWTaqxunds.W nWell,wEm time PLEASANT SURPRISE The young ma1hesitantly1mdked up to the elderly woman hehad mistaken for the principal of an exclusive finishingschool. nMay I see Miss Duhn,please?W WMay I ask who you are?H nwhy, ereer, camahdy I'm her brother.n Uwell, well, I'm glad to meet you, I'm her mother.H avaxasxx What did one big toe aw'uJthe other? Cans.J A Don't look now, butacouple of heels are following us.

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NWITHIN THE CRYSTAL BALLW I hold the hand of Fate Within these hands of mineg This crystal ball relates Your fortune in '59:-- A. CURTIS: Norway's gift to Alaska's schools CGod help the Eskimosll J. MORRISON: Father of the famous nMorrison Sextuplets.W B. HANCOCK: Author of the best seller, WThe Hens and I.n R. WAGG: Pres. of Bank of Am- erica in Iran Cthe harem goes with the job.l E. MASSE: A spy, trying to undermine the Bank of America in Iran. C. BROWN: Proprietor of a Mens Clothing Shop. Slogan:'Tf you don't know what to wear, ask a woman who knows.W MURIEL REDMUN: Married to Bob COLLINS, well-known Auburn.fhb ancier. CTOOTIE, by the way, decided life with Bob was too strenuous. She's a charity worker, specializing in cases of children with chicken pox.J D. HIGGINS: Owner and opera- tor of the exclusive Auburn Night Club-wnSi1ver Slipper.W B. KENISTON: Operates a home for wayward boys, aged.lOu:l7. B. DROWN: Author of Nwhat I Know About Women.N M. DUBUC: Still looking over the situation. C. KEENE: Barker for Ringling Brothers. C. ROSS: Shoe salesman in the South Sea Islands ffor women onlyh R. JOHNSON: U. S. Senator from Maine, Chairman of Senate Com- mittee on Everything. E. SANDS: Hollywood's newest star replacing Gable and Miter Pidgeon, currently playing in WM? Aching Heart.W MR. MAXIM: Still HNow--it says here.. F. RILEY: Editor of Esquire Magazine. declaring: I? G. BEAUPARLANT: Replacing Louella Parsons and Jimmie Fidler on NBC. CIt's wonderful they say to be able to turn that little switchtJ GAB. BILODEAU: Married. The mother of three bouncing boys. The name is Mrs.JOSEPH DUPONT. GEO. BILODEAU: Unmarried. Now drives sound truck through city making announcements-- prize fights, army recruiting. B. SWEATT: Unmarried. Prop. of Home for Homeless Cats. W. KINNER: Secret Agent XXX in FBI, with OSCAR SCAMMON as new chief. New FBI slogan is: WCherchez La Femmeln H. BROOKER: Prop. of Young Ladies' Escort Service. Is un- able to hire employees because all customers choose the prop. J. MAY: May's Super Taxi Ser- vice, catering to Brooker's Young Ladies' Escort Service. MISS CARTER: T. Manville's last wife. M. LEONARD: Principal of kwal finishing school for young1naL fwhen you graduate youre radly finishedtl C. MALO: Tobacco auctioneer replacing F. E. Boone. A. HARDING R C. KIRKPATRICK: Local policewomen with beats extending entire length of Court Street. CSO many nice things happen in the course of a daylb C. DAVIS: Residing in England where people'talk'real Englimw and tea parties are dailyckw ings. , G. CROTEAU: Replacing Elsa Maxwell as nations No. l Party thrower. L. SKINNER: Hollywood's No. l Glamour Star, starring with E. Sands in vmy Aching Heart.n