Auburn Maine School of Commerce - Ray Yearbook (Auburn, ME)

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HUMOR . :EJ I ,J 6? , L ytgx xxx Ln .' lv J' KX x K-If-' 1 N,Q

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Good evening,and welcome to the joke house. You prob- ably wonder how I can get a house while you can't even get a phone booth. Today, I would like to tell you about some of the-eX- periences I've had in the Army To start with, you may wonder NThe the where I got the name,r Joker.n It seems that stork left me at a 9071 dis- count, plus an old used tire to my mother. It's a very good thing my father wasn't there. You see, he's a watchmang he's always watching the clock so he can quit work. By the time I was booted to the age of seventeen,1 de- cided to join the Marines, so I went to enlistg all they did was t slam the door in my puss and tell me to put on some fat first. But I wasn't discouraged, so I went to en- list in the Navy. They would me because I wore They told me that if not take glasses. I fell in the water,I wouldn't to see where I was So there was only be able swimming. one more place to go--the Army I walked into the office and some soldier asked me if I wanted to enlist. I said I did. He asked me if I breathed regularly, if I could walk. USign here,N he said. So I put down my Benjamin Franklin Knot John Hancockl. A Well, they sent me down to Camp Snafuagia. It wasn't bad except for the mosquitoes. They used to wear belly tanks. And then there were our maneu- vers. Maneuvers are the times you wish you hadn't joined the Army. Two months later, we were shipped off for England. Now I know how the three men in a tub felt. It was so packed in that boat that we could scratch each other's backs without moving. Just to show you how packed it was, even the mice abandoned ship. We had to shave three times a day in order to have more room. One guy didn't shave for two days. We had to hang him for treason. .. fr :Q'Z'EfgflJ'I.5f1:41:3z.. ' ' . :gf in .af ,17- Q ' Q J J C! Three weeks later we ar- rived in England. Ah! Jolly old England. Man, is it foggy in that country. And the Eng- lish lassiesl I don't know if you'd call them polite or what. One day I was sitting in a bus and a girl was standing. I started 'to get up, but she pushed me down, saying, WNo, thank you.W' When ,the bus stopped again, I stood up, and she pushed me down a 'second time, saying, WNo,.thank you.N The third time the bus stopped I was ready for her, WNOW see here, young lady. I don't mind your pushing me, but will you please let me off? I was supposed to get off two stops back.n This is the JOKER, wishing you all a happy vacation.--A.B