Atwood Hammond High School - Post Yearbook (Atwood, IL)

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In The Beginning As the bell at the school house doorway began to toll on the morning of the fifth of September, five little freshmen entered the massive shed.1 Their eyes were wide open and their faces red. In the front of the room was the desk and beside it were seated the three members of the faculty. After standing around sucking their thumbs and looking down at the floor for half an hour, a great voice sounded which came near scaring the newcomers to death) and all of the classmen, except the Freshmen, seated themselves; but Professor Nieder-meyer had to come down from his official perch and seat them. The course of study was given them but before all the arrangements could be made the whole school was greatly interrupted by the actions of one of our classmen, namely Cliff Weatherholt, when he took his drinking cup and put it under the faucet of the ink keg and to his great astonishment instead of water there came forth black ink. He was so startled that he dropped the cup of ink on the floor. Lera and Mildred were called down for chewing gum. Louis came near being initiated the first day and Retha took stage fright and had to have a friendly little cry before her nervousness stopped. At first when the freshmen were called up to recite, their faces turned red and their voices were shaky but in two or three weeks they became as smart as any of the rest, with the exception of Cliff saying one morning that Chicago was in the eastern part of Africa. In fact Louis got so smart that the upper classmen had to tie him in a sack “to take him down a notch or two, but Cliff was so smart that whenever he got wise to an initiating party he would stay at home and leave Louis to get full benefit of the party. After these exciting events we all settled down to a tedious nine months of study and also to endure the jeers and taunts from the upper classmen. But next year we will be one of the jeerers instead of the jeered, and we are looking forward to

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Oscar—‘Paris is the literary center of the learning of Europe. Joe C.—“Oh yes, they make dresses there. Anna 'defining an altitude in Geometry) —“An altitude is a straight liue that doesn’t slant.' Janitor “Are youi feet clean? Student (as he runs into the room —“Oh yes, it’s only my shoes that’s muddy. Miss Stansbury (very sweetly 1 “Earle, will you kindly go and sweep the crumbs which you left, from my desk? I’ve had my dinner once today. Miss Cook, after a heated argument with a Sophomore retorted, “Now take that and smoke it. A favorite saying of our pupils, especially after having been corrected, is “I said the same thing—only different. In Latin class —“William, how much time did you put on this lesson? William—“One hour by railroad time. Miss Stansbury “What do you mean by railroad time? William—“Including stops and all. Axiom 1—Nothing is better than a good lesson. Axiom 2—A poor lesson is better than nothing. Therefore, a poor lesson is better than a good lesson. Those awful questions: Anna “Oh, do you want me to tell you that? Joe—“I couldn t hear what they said. What was it?” William—“What was your question? Earle — Were we to hav » that? Flo—“Did you call on me?

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a happy and contented existence for the remaining three years of our high school life. Sights worth seeing in the freshmen class: Mildred not giggling. Louis not orating. Lera without her curls. Retha with low grades. Clifford not up to some trick. It is generally freezing weather in Latin I, the grade book frequently registering zero. Come all you readers if you want to hear, The freshman history of the passing year: There are five in all, so tried and true, Who present these simple verses to you. There are Clifford and Mildred, the oldest of all, Then Louis and Retha next in age do fall, And finally comes Lera, whose years are few; This is our little class we tell to you. Clifford is an athlete so strong and bold, Louis, an orator, whose fame will ne’er grow old, Mildred. Retha and Lera are the brains of the class, Who, favors from no one ever do ask. Miss Cook Mildred, in making your ‘i’s you have omitted something. What is it? Mildied— 0h, I forgot to put any eyebrows over them. There was a hant in the house.—Louis. Cliff Dad, would you be glad if I saved a dollar for you? Dad Certainly, Cliff. Cliff - Well, I saved it for you alright. You said if I brought a first class report from school this month you would give me a dollar; but I didn’t. A caterpillar is an upholstered worm. Lera. Miss Cook Clifford, can you give me a sentence using the words defeat’ and ‘debasement?’ Clifford De feet slipped on the steps and the boy fell into de basement. Clifford, said Miss Cook, “tell us what you would think if you saw the Stars and Stripes waving o’er the field of battle? Clifford— That the wind was blowing. Prof. Niedermeyer' In department store)— Have you anything to keep hair from falling?' Floorwalker Hair pins, two counters to the right, sir. He that falls in love with himself finds no rival. —Cliff. Lera’s Composition on Soap. Soap is a kind of stuff made into nice looking cakes that smell good and taste awful. Soap tastes the worst when you get it into your eye. My father says that the Eskimos never use soap. I wish I was an Eskimo. I chatter, chatter, where I go. No man my tongue can sever, For men do try, and men do sigh But I go on forever. —Gladys.