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Page 32 text:
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AUTOGRAPHS (30)
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Page 31 text:
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Now the brightest thing to do is to learn something about your car so if you are going to Bloomington and the motor starts acting a little queer you will know what to do. I didnft. If a Ford starts sputtering, there are a million and one things that can be the matter, but after looking everywhere, you usually find the trouble in the motor, the place where you would least expect to find It. Now if you do get a Ford, you don't have to take my advice, but it is always a good idea to carry enough money and a couple of fairly strong fellows with you, not that you don't trust your car, but just In case the motor starts popping and cr.eking like a box of fir crackers that had been dumped Into the manifold. Now there has been talk going around about a certain fellow by the name of Ben B. who thinks he has a nice looking, easier riding, faster running, longer enduring, and all together a better Model T than anyone else in town; but although Betsy doesn't shine as much as Ben's does, she is just as good and I think a lot more of her. Jack Brown SHOO !! 1 If a pleasant land is ever discovered where there are no flies In the summer time, please do me the favor of notifying me immediately, and I will proceed to throw my scanty belongings into the immortal bandana handkerchief and head for the nearest bus station. Science says that the diptera (better known as the fly) carry thousands upon thousanas of germs, and I might even go so far as to say millions. Moving hand in hand with this indisputable fact, is the more irritating one from which none are immune, namely: the maddening hum of a fly as he sails dex- terously around one's head. Then he lights just out of reach ano smugly wipes his paws. It is easily understood how a periectly sane, healthy, young male creature could lose his mind after battling such a pest but a few minutes. It is indeed futile to sneak up on a fly and, at the correct second, slap viciously where the pest is, or rather was. Nine times out of ten, he will have soared away at an opportune moment and left his potential murderer with a stinging hand and a seething mind. And don't be drastic by folding a newspaper and using It as if it were a baseball bat. I have purposely omitted mentioning the fly swatter as it is the most useless of all weapons. Haven't you secretly told yourself that the flies just seem to KNOW when you determinedly grasp said utensil? And don't they sail out of reach so effortlessly? A waste of time and energy--the fly swatter. The purpose of this article is not to teach amateurs or professionals the correct procedure in killing a fly. But, taking advice from an old timer, wno has waged many a furious battle on these pests, just relax, fold a newspaper over your race, dream sweet dreams, and occasionally issue a well-timed Shoo! Ruth Applegate Judge: Last time you were here I told you I never wanted to see you again. Prisoner: That's what I told the cop, tut he insisted on bringing me here. First Tenderfoot: What is the bump you have on your forehead? Second Ditto: Oh, that is where a thought struck me. Freshman: May I have the last dance with you? Footsore Maiden: You've had it. Lazy Boy: I am always tired on the first of April. Friend: Why? Lazy Boy: Who wouldn't be after a March of 31 days? It's so good of you, doctor, to have come this far to see my husband. Not at all, madam. I have a patient next door, and I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone. (29)
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