Astoria High School - Zephyrus Yearbook (Astoria, OR)

Page 33 text:

“2012” It is lle er extinct. It is cut shoi't by various oi'gans bein'; I voin o it Init the reinaiiulei’ of tlie l)ody continiu s in a re.st- state unless acted upon l)y .some other inflinuices or ayents. ” Ibis is ii statement made in tlie year 1!)12 when the V(‘1I known scientist John Billiam had completed his studies on “Life, its Works.” In order to prove this to the satisfaction of l)oth yreat and .smali, Bil- banis constructed a cave, far in the wilderne.ss of the Rocky Mountains, lie lined it with a.sbestos ami ylass to jireveiit any clianye of air or tem¬ perature, and made it completely air tiyht. It was next attached to yreat vacuum pumps, operated by electiacity stored in a series of Ley¬ den .jars. These jars had the power of ab.stractiny electricity from the- air — this was another scientific invention of Billiams. It was so arranged that these wonderful pumps would pum[) the air from the cave in twenty minutes. The electricity of the jars would be all used in this time, and it would rt'cpiire a hundred years for enouoli electricity to be extracted from the air to reverse' the |)umps and thus to reiiiimi) the air into the chambers, and to open the hermeti¬ cally sealed lock of the entrance of the chamlier. Billiams was ready for his experiment. He (‘iitered his tomb of one hundred years, arramied his couch, jilaced his chloroform bottle near at hand and tested his ajiparatus to .s( e that nothiny would fail. Satisfied and supremely haiijiy, he laid himself down, placed the sponye of chloroform to his nose and .set the machim ry in nrition. 'i'lie apii.iratus starteil with a whirr. The door slammed shut; ti'e an was rapidly juimped out; and at last stillness roiyiK'd, and Billiams was a prisiiiier for a hundred yeai's, if all went riyht — for entcrnity, if anythiny went wrony. Written by W. W., Billiam 's Bioyi'apher. Billiams, himself, completes the account of the incident; After I took tin chloi-oform 1 L'll int-) a beautiful ;ind womlerful sleeji with no cares, no trials, and no woi'ries. A life — no, not a life, bat an e.xisteuce like a slow moviny river, now wendiny its way tlmmyh shady ylens. now ylidiny by bi'antiful mountains, but always yrand, beautiful and tran((uil. So was my existence In my captive cave hiylt 31

Page 32 text:

Asta II. and a little peroxide, Seem to go very well side l)y side. But though red be her hair, “Believe me” she’s thei’e, Ou every other old chemical oxide. You would scarcely think that Granberg Coidd debate if yo a hadn’t lieaixl Him rake ui the Dalles, And boost on his pals. He’s “some kid!’’ You can count on my word. The ardent desire of Ella, Is to have a handsome young “fellah,” So Avith him she can walk. And study and talk,. Do you think this woidd plea.se her? AYell “rathah.” For base ball dear Kate has a passion. Her heroes a deep admiration. But her hair is a fad. To make any one mad. She’s a shark at a Hist, recitation. I have chronicled Seniors so giddy. And Seniors devoted to study. But 1 've got .something yet, That is splendid you bet, Xow attention, please, everybody. Though .Miss B. is the teacher of Seniors. She is loved by the hearts of the Juniors, Fresh and Sophomore, Yote solid for her. She’s the best fi iend of all A. It. Scholai’s. D. E. ’IJ. 30

Page 34 text:

up in the moniitains for one hnndred years. Wlien the hnndi’ed years were up, the pnnips started to work and the d(ior opened. I coughed and sat up as alive as I was before I en¬ tered the chandler. I felt a little sick, this was probably due to the chloroform, and terribly hnngry.,1 had forgotten niy breakfast and dinnei' during my excitement the night before — no, I mean the hun¬ dred years before. , After I felt a little better and stretched myself, I determin.ed to go ont and get upon a railroad train and make haste to te.stify of my remarkable invention. I strode out of the door of my tomb, when low and liehold ! the place I left as a bai-ren wild was now a thriving city — tliriving but very, very (pieer. The sti’cets were ] aved with bloclcs of metal, and the houses were suspended in midair without any vi' ible means of support. Nob(Kl AS’alked on the ground but all seemed to perambulate in the air without the least effort. The mode of dress had been radically '-hanged, women : eenied to be garbed in the dress of man and men in that of women. Their cuithing did not seem to be made of cloth, but a metal-like substance softer than silk, Avhich T afterwards found was more comfortal. le to wear than that of former texture. Everx'one seemed to stare at me curiously — me, a man dres -'ed in +he garb of a woman, fley ho! Imre came a man walking through the air. I laughed because he h;oked so (pieer with those skirts and frills on, prancing along the midair. The little man whom 1 first saw was alighting on the pavenmiit at my side, lie spoke a few words in a language that I had studded — Esperanto. These Avere the words he said which I translate into the long dead language, English: “(Jood day, stranger, Avhat brings you here with your (|ueer garb and most extraordinary appearance? Are von descended from a race of giants? You are larger than our women.” Before I could answer down the air jiath came a band of these pigmy men, bearing banners with the legend, “Votes for men.” They gathered at a corner of a building over my head and began to give feeble stump sjieeches. A woman policeman, hurrying down from the ciowds, pnickly di.spersed them. T asked the little man how it was that the houses were suspended in the air, and how the people were able to walk in the air without fall- 32