Astoria High School - Zephyrus Yearbook (Astoria, OR)

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Lenoiv M('( i ivyoi’ I found t(t ho a doctor as jolly and happy as shi h.ad l)ccn in the mod old school days. After 1 had left Ijtniore's office and wa.s takiny in the t(- vn. iny attinition was called to a reiiia.rkahh woman standini;' in a cart, trying’ with mnch yt'stnriny and lond taikinti;, to sell .soiiu kind of a patent inedieiiu'. I thonyht 1 i-eeo iiizcd h.er. so 1 st(“pi)ed closer. At that ininnte she tniaied her fac-e towards me. and [ reeounized deiinie dolnsson. I imuh myst'lf known and .l(‘nnie told me how she was niakiim' a yrand sneeess of selling' a drny, a enre fe.)' all e ■ils and ills, d'his drny was made hy Anynst I’esehl, one of tin best known fake doetoi’s of Amei’ica. 1 hid her oodhye and started down the stri'ct. I had seare(‘ly yone ten steps when a proce.s,sion of peoide with spades ami shovels over their shonldei’s came walkiny down the street, sinyin lustily. At theii' head marched a man who looked familiar, so I iiave a sliyht whistle. The man turned around, walked quickly to me, and extended his hand, with a “Ilow'de Bill.” “Why John, how are yon? What are you doin ?” While askiny these (piestions 1 was lookiny John carefully ovei', and observed that he was dreessed in tlu‘ latest style, with a heavy yold chain across a plaid vest, and everythiny els( to match. ] said “Oh, llo. old felh.w, yon are a sportiny man. are yon?” John Granhery then said: “Oh. yon .see, I an a walkiny deleyate tor the Glam I)iyyei-s' rnion and we aiv out on a strike, Solony. ” Walkiny farther down the street I saw a small hand of people— two women and one man. The man was Instily hlowiny a cornet, and the women were rattliny tambourines and sinyiny “Salvation w the B est Thiny in the World.” On nearer approach I r( coynize(i the two women as Leola Ball and Ella Karinen. I did not at tii-st rta-oy- nize the man, hi'acn-o of his uniform and his lony brown hair which hnny in ti’esses over his shoulders. I saw “Ways” Eakin linrryiny hy, so T stoi)ped him, and asked him the name of yonder individual with the lony hair. I will in- ti'odma him to yon,” says “Ways, and with tl'.esi' woi'ds lu“ titok me by th( arm, marclual me up to the man and said .Mr. (ica Lai- seii, h't me inti'odncc’ y n to Bill Wcotton.” . t the sound of Ways voice, the man turned and wrnny my hand, seeminyly vei-joyed to see me ayain. After a yreat deal of (inestioniny. 1 found that “G ‘a ' had estahli'.-hed a new reliyion, that helief (d‘ which was that the men mn.st

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Ipropbcc of the Class of '12 As 1 was growing old, fat, and rich, I desired to visit my old ],ome, Astona, and see sonm of n.y old schoolnnates of the class 1-. I ordered my yrip packed, and Ihe areonn.hde brought around to the aoor. I hid my good wife goodi)ye, climbed into my areomobde, and was off at the rate of 120 miles an hour. I sailed over city after city, until at last I arrived at the 1 acihc, and Astoria. I landed at the Park, and took a cable car to the city. 1 got off the car at !»th and Duane St., and looked around. Ihe city luul grown to such an extent that I was utterly lo.st and did not know jny way. As no policeman was near, I stopped a tall slim man with a dense black beard tliat completely covered his face, and asked him the way to the Superintendent’s office, lie stopped and looked at me a minute, and exteiuDd his hand with a hearty, ‘'Hello, Bill.” I was so surprised that I hardly knew what to say until 1 recognized Die old smile of “Wags’ Bakin. “Hello, ‘AVags,’ how are voii? AVhere have you been ? What are you doing and why ari you in su('h a hurry ! I asked as fast as I ('ould. “Hold on ! AAdiere ilid you begin .’ AVhat was your first ([uestioii ?” said “Wags,” and 1 knew that he was up to his old trick of forgetting. 1 used the word that was always a remedy for forget fulne. s in 1l;e oht school days; “ Virginia, where is she?” The wo.rd worked like a charm. “AA ags” gave a yell, and started down the street, dragging me by the arm. After this I found that A'irginia was Editor of a “Popular A ote for Alan” paix'r, and that “AVags” was her business manager. He was now late, and was afraid that she would “give him tits.” “A cll, here is the building,” said “AVags,” and I looked up at Ihe forty-two story building in which “(linger” liad her paper. AA e took the elevator to the ninth floor, and entered Aliss A'irginia's office. 8he had just begun talking to “AA'ags” Avhen she saw' me, and c-sclaimed, “AAdiy Billy, how are you? 'fake tlmt chair.” T Had to tell them my history from tin time I left the .A. 11. S., until the time of my arrival in the city. After a very nic'c talk with A irginia about hei’ prospects and the good old days at High School, I left with “AVags” to visit some of the other memhers of the class of B2. 20

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( i ■ i ' ,i)” ,v.ar tans I, air, anj I also foun.l that Klla atol I.eola tvere the only converts that he had been aide to train. , , , , s 1 left “(Jea,’ T heard “Waffs” mutter, “You don t have ,o be Larsen to be crazy.” “Almost,” I said. ‘AYatrs” and I then walk¬ ed to his rooms, and there we talked over old tunes and ot old fi lends. “Where is “Heinie” Jeldness?” I asked. Wa rs” answered sadly, “Tfeinie is among- the dead. Dead!” said I. “Oh, that is too bad, when did he die? lie didn’t die,” said “Wags.” “He is an rndertaker at Goble.” Suddenly I saw through the joke. “And where is Tunie Juntti?” “Oh,” said “Wags,” she is a school teacher in the Clat.skanie high school.” ‘ And Victor Moore, what d’ him?” lie tends bar,” said “Wags.” ‘ ‘ A saloon-keeper 1 ’ ’ said I . “Xo, no saloon-kcepei , he is janitor in the Court House, said “Wags.” “What of Kate Barry, A.sta Hauge, and Edith Lorn.sten ? Are they dead, or do they keep salomis?” 1 asked, somewhat piiiued at “Wags” jokes. “Xo,” said “Wags.” “They run a cannery. “Kun a cannery! said I, “ Why man, the fish industry was abandoned ten years ago.” “I didn’t say that they had anything to do with fish; they are the English teachers in A.stc'ria’s three high schools. With this I shied a plate, but he laughingly ducked, and said, “Don’t get sore. Bill. It didn’t help any, so I cooled down and asked “Wags, ‘‘What fdiout Esther .h‘1t('rs? Is she with the (haul or is she another joke? No, said Wags, She' isu t a joke, she is the mayor at War- K'liton on a r( form tii-kcd, and k(“cps all lazy jieople and grafters go¬ ing some, I can tell you.” Dh, 1 shaw, W aii-s, lets go up to yooi- romus. I am sleepy.” W’e talked a while, and the last that 1 heard was “Whigs chuckliim to himsi'If. )■) Wh B. Wh