Astoria High School - Zephyrus Yearbook (Astoria, OR)

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THE ZEPHYRUS OF THE ASTORIA HIGH SCHOOL DECEMBER, ’09 B Xegac? John Mitchell, a young business man and a bachelor of some thirty years, living in the small village of Haskanville, was puzzled over a peculiar matter, one not wholly in line with his mode of thinking. The subject in hand was the cause of much distress and dis¬ cussion between him and his servant and companion. Hates. One morning a legal envelope had come to John through the mail from his grand-father’s lawyer, notifying him that the will of this grand-father was on file and directing him to come to New York immediately and get a copy of the part of the will relating to his welfare. Now John had attended the funeral of his late grand¬ father about two months before the lawyer s notification reached him, and as his grand-father had lived economically, allowing him¬ self no luxuries but those of a parrot, a dog and a cat (if they might be called luxuries) we can partly understand John’s surprise and astonishment, when he found that his eccentric old grand-father had left a will. He got ready and proceeded to New Y ork, where he found to his amazement, that his pecuiliar grand-father had left him his house, a small two roomed shack and everything it contained, including the parrot Mehitable, aged thirtv-five; the dog, Julius Caesar aged twelve, and the cat, Jupiter, who was in her teens. It happened that John detested parrots, with their husky and croaking chatter, could not bear cats, and dogs always made him nervous, so he said. Ordinarily this would seem a very slight matter to worry over,

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Arthur Danielson in Geometry III. To prove that: D-o-g- C-a-t-S-c-r-a-p. MAKERS AlLWyoRK Correct Clothes lor Men The frontless man was an also ran, But the Well Dressed Man was the winner! —Pickings from Peck o Don’t be an also ran But be a well dressed man. Let us tog you out and You’ll be a winner! Judd Bros. The Young Men’s Store A. H. S. PENNANTS and Arm Bands for Sale Prof. H. to M. T. ‘‘I wish to speak to you privately. Permit me to take you apart for a few minutes.” M. T. ‘‘Certainly, if you’ll promise to put me together again.” Open an Account with the Scandinavian “American Savings Bank We pay interest on time deposits A lien Trading with our Advertisers mention The Zephyrus

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but this was not all. By means of the will John discovered behind the clock in a tin box, the result of his grand-father’s economy for many years, and also to his chagrin, that he would not receive this amorint, about $5200, unless he should take the parrot, the dog and cat and keep and care for them until ’hey should die; further that he should spend $200 of that sum on them and their needs, according to ennumerable directions, all carefully written out on fools-cap paper, for their daily care. Even for $5000 which was considered a magnanimous bequest in those days, it took John Mitchell a long time to decide whether or ot he would accept the conditions, l mt after thinking it over, he decided that $5000 was too great a sum to be lost by mere prejudice against animals and thought that he could in some unheard of way, get rid of them, not lose anything by it, and still not violate the regulations of the will. lie notified the lawyer of his willingness to accept the terms, and proceeded to his home, accompanied by Julius Caesar, Jupiter and Mehitable. On arriving at his bachelor quarters, the first thing confronting him was sleeping places for the new members of the household, for he lived in two rooms, one of which was his parlor and bedroom combined; the other where he cooked and had his meals; Bates living in a small hall bedroom upstairs. After several impossible ideas had come to him, he ended his troubles, or rather, thought he did, by putting a newspaper over Mehitable’s cage and sliding her under the bed, tying Julius Caesar to his bed-post and placing Jupiter in the coal-bin. He then went to bed with anticipations of a long refreshing sleep, but how dis¬ appointed and ten minr tes of undisturbed rest was followed bv Mehitable’s screaming at the top of her voice, Julius Caesar ' s growling interspersed by little short, sharp barks, a clawing noise made by Jupiter and occasionally, the squeak of a tiny mouse in her clutches. The cause of all this disturbance was, of course, the little mouse, whom Jupiter had found in the coal-bin. Mehitable, who was hungry as well as ill-tempered, was yelling vile threats at Jupiter, because he had something to eat, and Julius Caesar, who was usually so good natured, was angry because he had been awakened from his peaceful slumber. John was by this time most thoroughly awake, and doing his best to quiet the participants in the disturbance at so unearthly an hour, it being now nearly one o’clock a. m., as he had been late in retiring! After his taking the mouse and putting it into the hole, from which it scampered away, glad to be free once more, order reigned again. John went to bed. but not to sleep; he lay awake till morning thinking and planning a way in which to free himself from the three nuisances as he termed them, and towards eight o’clock he hit upon a plan; he would train the animals! teach them tricks and place them on exhibition! Tde thought of an old man living in the