Ashtabula High School - Dart Yearbook (Ashtabula, OH)

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THE DART 27 “That is marvelous. Till. I know of another accomplishment achieved by a member of the class of 21. Isabella Johnson has established relations with a lot of planets. She has also discovered that she has a multimillionaire uncle living on Mars ana he is going to leave her all his money when he dies!” “Della, do you know that Clarence Kennedy has turned scholar and author. Well, he has. He has written a psychological novel entitled “Why Mary Left Home and Came Right Hack.” “I’m going to get that book as soon as I can. Say, 1 witnessed an Underwood typewriting speed contest last March and among the contestants were Wilbur Mullen, Helen Wingelt and George Moury. Wilbur is now the world’s champion, having written 250 words a minute. Helen wro:e 200 words a minute and as a result of this has a position as demonstrator for the company. George wrote 199 words and has gone back to his old job as public stenographer, which brings him a salary of only $89000.78 a year.” “Merton Morse made a fortune by managing his own 5 and 10c’ store, so he decided to live on the interest of his money. He had an auction to sell out his stock, Harry Swift being the auctioneer.” “I passed Marie Shiya’s dry-goods store on my way to the office this noon and a very queer advertisement which was in the window attracted my attention. I looked closely ana read, ‘Ray Ticknor, fortune teller and hypnotist.’ 1 looked again to make sure that I saw rightly. ‘Is that a picture of Ray?’ I asked myself. Yes, those are Ray’s eyes, but his hair hangs to his shoulders and he is the possessor of a beard which is at least two feet long.” 1 glanced around at the clock and jumped up. “Mercy, Dell, it’s 7:30 and you must be famished. We’ll go to Hotel Ashtabula. I’m sure we’ll get a good dinner, although we are late, for Irene Richter is now the hostess there. It took nature 10.000,000 years to make a man out of a monkey, but it lakes Miss Richards exactly two minutes to change him back. (For example Arthur Spaeth.) Photographer to a Senior: “Do you want this picture large or small?” Senior: “Small, please.” Photographer: “Well, close your mouth then.” Mr. Rand: “Agnes, you weren’t paying attention to me.” Agnes: “Well, you can’t expect me to look at you all of the time.” Fee! Faw! Fum! The girls are chewing gum. But never mind, when they are thru, It’s probable the rag they’ll chew, And I prefer the gum, don’t you? Yum! Yum! Yum! Museum Guide: This old book is very rare and valuable, and it is so old that the leaves are falling apart. Student: Looks like my loose-leaf note book. Harrie K.: May I raise my hand? Miss Warmington: What for? H. K.: I want to ask a question.

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26 THE DART Fassett. I turned to the file again and showed Della a picture of Henrietta, Audrey Howard and Mildred Heas-ley, just before they sailed on their missionary mission to Missonla, a new-country adjacent to Mesopotamia. When Della saw the next page she exclaimed, “Nowr I really am surprised!” What she, or rather we saw, w-as the Ashtabula Opera House’s ad telling the public that “on June 4ili you will have the opportunity to see the great Shakespearean Drama, ‘Macbeth. ’ The renowned actor Arthur Spaeth will play the part of Macbeth while charming Lucilie Sharpe will play opposite as Lady Macbeth.” “Agnes George is the mayor of Plymouth,” Della informed me, “and she says that Iona Seymour has a dairy, which the students of agriculture, all over the state are compelled to visit before they are given their diplomas.” “Homer Pritchard ow-ns a restaurant,” this information from me, “and as a convenience to his patrons, and himself, he is running an undertaking establishment as a side line.” “Very considerate I calls it,” Della answered. “What do you think of this for opposition? Ruth Kelly is selling ‘French pastry guaranteed to make you fat, while in the same building Laurice Warren is selling 'Candy guaranteed to make and keep you slender.” “Of course, Dell, you know Charlotte Hoyt is married. I called on her several times. You ought to see her home! She has a “QP” doll In every room, which she said are Julia Smith’s specialties.” “Isn’t that a sweet picture of Elizabeth Hubbard! The w’hole wrorld is at Betty’s feet. Her latest opera “John of Johnstown” is said to be the most wonderful ever produced. “We have three members of our class w'ho are in the Cabinet. Howard Hough is Secretary of War, Edward Krause, Secretary of State and Endi- cott Landmesser, Secretary of the Treasury. And, Tillie, Kathryn Loomis is now in the Senate. She has introduced a bill which wiil provide that women who are tw'enty-four or over need not give their ages when registering. ’Tis said the bill is sure to go through.” “Hazel Lewis is Superintendent of the local hospital. Who would have thought fifteen years ago that Edith Johnson would be head surgeon, Florence Kellogg, chief dietition and Mable Crum, head nurse at Hazeis hospital!” “Elizabeth Lindslev and Elizabeth Reed are on the stage as “Star Acrobats and Paper Weight Lifters! Della have you heard from Elli Hanhilami or Lucy Guerini lately?” “Come to think of it I did. Elli is Commissioner of Immigration, and Lucy........oh, yes, Lucy has a very exclusive “Hat Shoppe” on Fifth Avenue. I am a little worried about Agnes Mack and Dorotha Grover. I haven’t received so much as a word from them since they left for Portugal to start a Portu Geese farm.” “I wouldn't worry, because I met the Reverand Dorothy Pelly, just before the girls sailed and she said she w'ould pray “for their safe deliverance,” so I feel sure that they are safe.” “Robert Shauter, American Consul at Bahama, sent word to the American Press that at last the unheard or was being accomplished. He stated that Ray Thorpe and wife are successfully raising Bermuda onions on the Bahama Islands.”

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28 THE DART The Senior Play Let us forget our troubles for a while. Let me take you back to Old England, in the eighteenth century, when the women, and the men too, wore powder in their hair and hair-ribbons. Think of it, a hair-ribbon on a man! And every gentle lady made a curtsy to all her gentlemen friends and said friends returned the greeting with a bow. Picture in your mind a philosopher, a theorist in fact, who is intending to work out the theory that every man should be his own wife-raiser. So our theorist, in a cold and calculating manner picks out a young and healtny girl from a group of foundlings, and educates her until a time when she is of an age, and in a position to marry him and in due course supply him with a paragon worthy of his name. But alas for our theorist, who thinks that love in his breast has died years before! After a due lapse of time he realizes that he is really in love with his intended bride. You may weii enough say, “What next?” Just this; when at length our theorist makes his proposal to her, he makes it so deli- cately that she imagines that he is asking her to marry his scapegrace nephew, a young and lively soldier, who is really her ideal. And again, alas for our theorist! It has been well said that, “The best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley.” Perhaps you have foreseen the outcome of this merry tangle. Picture our theorist, now no longer a theorist, walking slowly down the garden path, looking longingly at a house which was to have been his and hers, with the shadow of a smile lingering on his face, while from the house are wafted the strains of “My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose,” sung as a duet by two young people. Now we must come back to this world of troubles again, but we saw all this and more May 13, when the Seniors put on their annual play. This year it was “Mice and Men,” by Madeleine Lucette Ryley. At that time some of our most fashionable seniors were transformed into antiques for an evening. The following seniors were the ones who were antiquated at that time: Max Dowell ....................... Mark Embury, the theorist Merle Eddy ........................ Roger Goodlake, his friend Homer Pritchard ........ Capt. Lovell, his scapegrace nephew Helen St. John................... “Little Britain,” or Peggy Homer Blakeslee................Sir Harry Trimblestone, a fop Gordon Burwell ...................... Kit Barniger, a fiddler Duane Harmon ..................... Peter, Embury’s servant Vera Emmons .................................. Mrs. Goodlake Hazel Durey ............ Mrs. Deborah, Embury’s housekeeper Kathryn Loomis............. Matron of the Foundling Hospital Luther Hollister........... Beadle of the Foundling Hospital Isabelle Johnson ..................... Molly, a kitchen maid