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ANNUAL GAGS Says Paul Conrad: ‘'Probably the reason so many people never learn the true value of money is that they never get enough research material. ’ OK OK Dick Harmes, Herman Lehman and Dick's dog were killing a little time play- ing cards. Corky Conrad stood and watched the game with growing amazement for quite some time. Finally he remarked ‘‘Why I never saw a dog play cards be- fore! °°’ ‘ Oh, he's really not so good,’’ replied Dick, ‘the wags his tail every time he gets a good hand.’’ kK Without mentioning any names, a Senior guy was out with a Junior girl and they were having a pretty dull time. Finally she turned to him and said in disgust, ‘'I wish I'd known you when you were alive.’’ OK OK Two morons were standing in front of Wilhelm’s restaurant recently gabbing away. Neither could tell time and both were wise to each other. Finally the first asked the second, ‘‘What time is it by your watch?’' The second one pulled out his watch and said, ‘'There she is.’’ ‘‘Darned if she ain't,’' admitted the stymied one. OK OK Did you hear about the fellow on the football team who was a drawback? Oe OK John Wilhelm relates this tale about his trip to Chicago. He stayed on the third floor of a hotel. There were about three other groups on that floor among which was a prominent businessman and his wife. On the floor directly above the apart- ment of the businessman and his wife lived a rather rowdy couple who irritated the businessman beyond words. One night the faucet to the bath in the apartment above was left running and soon flooded the downstairs. Amid a wild burst of profanity, the businessman demanded that the erring ones shut off the water. The young fellow shouted back ‘'Stop your cursing, I’ve gota lady up here. ’ To which he got the snappy reply, ‘‘What do ya’ think I've got down here, a duck. ’ OK Ok Billie Stonebraker rode over to see Tommy Harmes the other day. He found Tommy trying desperately to get his pony into the house via the back door. Billie didn’t know what to think, but he decided to play along with Tommy and help him. They finally succeeded in getting the horse into the kitchen and from there into the bathroom. After that curiosity got the best of Billie and he asked Tommy what he was do- ing that for. ‘sWell, replied Tommy, ‘‘Whenever I try to tell Dick something, he always says ‘Yeah, I know--I know.’ So, tonight, when he comes in from doing the chores and goes in the bathroom to wash, he'll see the pony in the bathroom and come out and say ‘Tom, there's a pony in the bathroom’, ’ ‘‘Then I'll say, Yeah, I know--1 know. 29
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