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Page 31 text:
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A Glimpse Into the Future One dreary winter evening as I sat before the fire I began to feel drowsy and it came unto me like a dream, the visions of the future. It seemed that I was trav- eling, and everywhere I went I met someone of the class of '24, who drove away the grouch from my Forlorn countenance. Here I was in Paris and blazing in the gay white way was the following, Famous Dancers of America Here, and being very curious I went to When the curtain arose imagine my surprise on seeing Rachel Jalo Swingle doing the Argentine Tango. The next on the program was indeed, because it was Bo Carlon, the famous comedian ,who had won that show. and Artro interesting such fame and honor in Ashland High for his jokes. He was quoting from Tennyson, his favorite author, Cannons to the right of them, Cannons to the left of them, Shells everywhere, Peanut shells. This was too much for my whirling brain, so immed- iately I made my way to a cathedral to seek consolation and peace, but, lo! here I found Wilbur Chapman was bishop and he told me that John Galey was a leader of the bootlegger gang in the underworld of Paris. I walked out to get some fresh air to help steady my weakened brain and body. I kept walking down the avenue and someone rudely bumped into me. On looking up to see who my offender could be, I found that it was T-Bone Caldwell, who was now a leading manufacturer of hair groom fStay combed tho mussedl so he told me I was very glad to meet him and inquired as to where and how his friend Phat Thornton was. He told me that Merrick was happily married to Ruby Derrick and had a big business selling books on How I Keep My Slender Figure, for a large Firm run by Lena McCorkle :ind Vernon Phipps, who were partners in life as well as in business. In Germany I found Isabelle Silver, a politicallleader of the I Am It party, whose platform was Give yourself all the publicity you can. In Hawaii Ruth Emery could be found teaching the canaries to sing and the natives to swim. Then I returned to America and found Robert High, the editor of Songs of a Lyre, who informed me that Raymond Carson was a prosperous celluloid stove manufacturer. All this hurt my head, so he told me Gertrude Carlton was a good doctor, not for the head, but, but for boils on the ankles. I walked along in the slums and as I approached I saw Evon Philpot selling doughnuts for the Salvation army. As I was turning the corner I stumbled over a dark object that raised a cry of want. It was Marion Costley and he told me ail his sad experiences and how he became a dope fiend. He said that Josephine Barber, who was now his wife, was earning her living, knitting sweaters for sick cats I hurried to the depot to take the train for Ashland, because I was ready to have nervous prostration. On the train I picked up a book containing One Drink of Lithia Water Is Enough by i l
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Page 32 text:
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the noted author, Eugene Detrick. In the advertisements I found that Earl Evans was a popula: perfumer of odors collected from the chemistry room in Ashland Highg also the fact that all the people have adopted Miss Wallace's slogan, Cry and you weep, Laugh and you grin. Across the aisle from me was seated a person whose face looked very familiar and I found that it was John Churchman, the reporter and illustrator of the Whiz Bang. At last I was home, and here are some of the items of interest I found upon my return Margaret Dougherty was doing a rushing business in massaging bald headed men's hair in Sammie Davies' barber shop. Jean De Carlo was the leading elocutionist at Tolo. Keitha Brookmiller was taking a correspondence course on How to Become Popular in One Night. Ruth Aitken was licking stamps for Post- master Wagner. ivan De Armond was holding the responsible position of dog catcher for the hot dog standi Eileen Nutter was a fancy dancer in Treferen's Con- fectionery. Edith Dodge was a very high paid demonstrator of how to chew gum for the Wrigley Company. Maxine Rose was working in a basket factory. She learn- ed how to make them in high school. Genevieve Swedenburg was photographing the life of the mosquitoes at Crater Lake. Elean Kerby was drawing a large salary for removing pyrohhea from grasshopper's teeth. Alice Ruger was found clerking in Woolworth's at the cheap jewelry counter at Stienman. Marcus Woods was seen every day looking eagerly over the lists of the matrimonial bureau. Helen Sanford was searching in vain for Shorty Burnett's still of moonshine. Helen Merrill was cutting holes in doughnuts at the Bon Ton Bakery Mable Potte: was on an expedition to Dead Indian looking for the indians. Lil.ian Reimer had at last solved the problem of how to run a typewriter with your feet. Afton Madden was printing -lowers on curtain goods for Sears and Roebuck, Mary Laughlin was parked on the street of Mistletoe cranking a grind organ and crying, Pea- nuts 5 a bag, buy them while they're hot, so I am told. Mildred Gyger was wip- ing fly specks off the showcases in the P.aza Confectionery Hoyt Downing was sprinkling clothes in a Chinese laundry. Howard Hobson was heavyweight cham- pion of District No. 5. Russell Frost was the dwarf in the Ringling Brothers' Circus. Joe Neil has devoted his life to translating the Ashland High School con- stitution. Virginia Jones was trying to so.ve the g eat problem, How to Remove the Color from Blackheadsf' Ruth Fiackus has written a book on How to Keep One Always on the String and we see that Ralph Robinson is still pursuing her. Mildred Ferren has now settled down to the pleasing task of mending holes in the heels and toes of Brown socks. Ramona Wise was a movie actress at Holly- wood. She is star in When Girls Leave Home Glen Wilde was infringing upon the rights of Wesley Barry in producing his latest picture, Mamma's Boy. How long I must have been asleep, I know not, yet it took me through years of time. May all the good luck and blessings go with the class of '24,
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