Ashbury College - Ashburian Yearbook (Ottawa, Ontario Canada)

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it slobbers its dribble all over itself. A face lift or at least a mud pack is ap- propriate for this grand old lady, matriarch of so many fine young men. Hope- fully any jealousy on the part of the old school towards the new buildings will vanish as Mr. Wallin and company continue sprucing the ancient rooms up. The ceremony marking the commencement of construction must have made Ashbury feel very proud. The whole school turned out complete with masters and other assorted dignitaries. The boys were all clapping and cheering on the proceedings. Whether they were celebrating the construction of thc new or the destruction of parts of the old is hard to say. Hopefully it was a bit of both. Our senior old boy was also present, dutifully turning the first sod with the help of a brilliantly yellow bulldozer. The crowd admired the way in which he so ably cast aside top soil and went straight for the bedrock. I fear that at the age of that venerable gentleman the only apparatus I shall be operating will be silver winged harps. At break Cthat is between 10:59 and 11 o'clockJ I visited the infirmary in order to obtain an aspirin for a headache that strangely developed when they started working. The usually bright and sunny room was now dark and dreary. At first I thought something tragic might have happened and was about to go when my quick eye spotted the concrete blocks filling up the window holes. Is nothing sacred? I demanded. My headache then promptly worsened. The television commercial used to say, You've come a long way baby, and so has the construction at Ashbury. The fact is you can no more easily hold back progress than you can quit smoking which is what that ad is all about. Through the few remaining windows in the dining hall I am no longer obliged to watch worms bathing in the huge pit that was first dug. Instead I now see concrete walls rise skyward threatening finally to eliminate my view completely. Slosh goes the mortar, swish goes the trowel, smash' goes the block and the mason completes another portion of his task. His finesse and dexterity rivals that of any of the medical profession and with the money Ashbury's paying he probably is a doctor or a dentist. Actually I'm sure the cost is not bothering the school too much. There are always bank loans, mortgages, raises in tuition fees, and possibly even donations from an old boy or two. What worries me, as a concerned student, is what might happen if something like a ceiling collapses because of faulty design or poor construction CNot that I have any reason to believe that it mightj. But if it did and none of the belligerents were willing to own up, the administration would have to charge the cost of repairs to the boyis damage fund as the only alternative to bankruptcy. If that happened who would then pay for all the windows we break throughout the year. The weather has done its best not to co-operate and there have been many days when the construction crew could not carry on with their work. Even after we had come back from the Easter break and the temperatures were high it suddenly began to snow and in one day we got five inches of the fluffy white stuff. Fortunately this was the beginning of the project and it didn't take long for the sun to pull back the infant's snowy- blanket and expose the framework of the future Ashbury. The construction has brought its share of grief to the school. One of the greatest tragedies was the loss of the ski room. For many long winters this narrow room known as Niles' Nook faithfully contained everything from sticky screwdrivers to broken television sets. At times we even found ski equipment inside. Now all that remains is a dirty brown jacket belonging to the ski-team's ex-manager. It hangs profanely where down-hill racers once solemnly placed their winning or prize ski-poles. By tomorrow this too may have gone the way of the carpenter's magic wand. Less significant to posterity but important in any case was the removal of the senior common room. Oddly enough it was first to go, possibly to discourage the wild shenanigans that often took place there. Unfortunately the pranksters simply moved on into the prefects' common room to wreak even wilder shenanigans. This progression is obvious and you might notice there has 26

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BUSINESS AS USUAL! . . . AS USUAL? The automatic bell has just rung one o'clock and for some silly reason l'm standing in line about to enter the dining-hall. Tired and tense tthey're renovating Ashbury nowl, I foolishly lean against a wall that hasn't existed for at least a half hour. Others less observant than I openly chuckle at my mishap while I notice smoke listlessly rising from an open pipe end. - Quick, sound the alarm, the school is on fire! Premature, am I? Simply steam for the coils that used to sit there, is that it? With our nakedness and doorless entrances I do suppose we can use all the hot air W. N. Construction can provide. Here we go now. Perhaps a letter or two as I pass the duty prefect, but alas none at all. I do believe my friends think the construction has driven us from 362 Mariposa to some other address. We day boys sit in one of the wings, student priorities and that sort of thing. Quick right and I reach my seat far back at the very extremes of the dining room. A month ago there were four oak tables, like the one I eat on, in this particular area. Unfortunately construction companies, like time, wait for no men or in this case oak tables. Now three wooden musketeers are left to fight off the invasion of power-saws and crowbars while we diners sit helplessly trapped. Every meal carries the apprehension that it might be our last, unless of course we're willing to buy hot-dogs and chips down in the tuck-shop. Behind me, as my dry cleaning bill will testify sprawls a huge, dirty, and brown tarp used for covering the hole that replaced one of the four walls. Thank hammer and sickle its not winter or our food would be perpetually deep frozen . . . even after they've served it to us. Excuse my inconsideration, I have forgotten to mention that the Headmaster just said grace. But with no disrespect towards the church I think we couldn't have heard the familiar words over the other loud noises Cthey're renovating Ashbury nowl. Here comes Mr. Marlandg I'm sure he's got something to say about the construction. So you found it very muddy coming into school now, did you, sir? Yes the ruts were unusually deep, but you can't expect trucks carry- ing tons of material to be as light on their feet as Volkswagens, Toyotas, or red Datsuns. Pass the potatoes? Certainly. No that's not peels, it's dust. It ritually lands on the food every lunchtime. Comes off the brown tarp behind you. 'Tm very sorry to bring this up while you are eating but I must confess that some of us missed part of the equation you read out in math class today. Yes I know that is what I get for sitting at the back but it was actually the guys up front that asked me to ask you. Yes, paper and pen ready for action. Sinx -1- Cosx : 1-2 cement nails . . . what! Oh you were thinking about the masonry work. were you? It is quite hypnotic. Why just yesterday I went so far as to support Labour in an economics discussion. I'll let you be for now, you're welcome. This morning an extraordinary event took place. Instead of our usual teacher, we were lectured to by a visitor who may be full time next year. Now this in itself is not so special. However, I'm convinced that his decision about coming here will rest to some extent on what he hears about the building pro- ject. I am sure he was impressed by our academic standards, after all we answered every question we heard him ask. But if he gets wind of some kind of vicious rumor such as the construction will not be finished until next year at Christmas time, I'm afraid he will take job offers from Edmonton or Katmandu, Nepal instead. On the other hand if he hears the vicious truth that by September the contractors are to be gone, I'm sure he'll jump right on the bandwagon. After all this school is going up and up and out and down and wherever the architects want it to go. Pass the milk? Of course! Don't worry, that's not a crust forming but a piece of plaster that fell from the ceiling. Yes, the jackhammers must have dislodged it. That kind of thing is probably the best reason for changing things at Ash- bury. The building is simply much too old. Why it's so decrepit and senile it can no longer keep properly functioning and, as you've seen from the plaster, 25

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been no attempt to renovate the prefects' area, for this would leave the sanctum sanctorum as the last remaining common room. That is the arena of, would you believe, the wildest shenanigans. The story is told of the visiting parent who had not previously heard of the building project fthe ambassador to Lower Slobovia is not easily contacted, their postal service still as yet being limited to Slobovian pony expressj and was startled when he saw the fruits of W.N.'s labour. Opening the thick green doors he was shocked when, instead of the accustomed nineteenth century soccer teams and graffiti-covered cricket bats, exposed wiring and piled planks gaped back at him. What have we here, a fake front, Rockcliffe slum, no one could possibly go to school under these conditions, he was supposed to have remarked indignantly. I have news for the dignitary from Lilliput. We do! We do! Wait one minute, didn't the bell just ring? Everyone has stopped eating so it must have. The duty master rises to address his captive audience. Games as ..... buzzzzzzzzzz! They want me to knock on the window and ask the workmen to stop for a momentg well, why not? Excuse me, excuse me, could you possibly desist for just a little while? Thank you very much . . . Okay, go ahead sir! As I was saying, games will be as usual today. But would our over- enthusiastic baseball players please stop trying to hit home runs into the construction area. Workmen's Compensation refuses to cover such freak accidents, so please be careful. If there are no other announcements we'll stand and say grace. For these and all thy ..... buzzzzzzzz! Well as I told you all before they are really renovating Ashbury now! . . . . buzzzzzzzzzz . . . . . Amen! Amen! D. SIVERSKY DORMITORY RENEWAL PROJECT Two summers of hard work by Old Boys of the School tSandy Stiles - ,71 and Peter Johnston-'73J have brought about the transformation of fourteen old senior school dormitory rooms into accommodations which some boarders are said to prefer to the new rooms which have just been completed. The rooms vary in the color of the paneling installed, but all now contain lowered ceilings, new wiring and lighting, and new mirrors, towel bars, and shelves. It is hoped that the project will be continued until all old quarters throughout the school have been refurbished. B.W. 27