Ashbury College - Ashburian Yearbook (Ottawa, Ontario Canada)

Page 33 text:

THE ASHBURIAN Soon the culprit he discovered, Speedy were his skilled deductions From the odours, from the noises. To the station, to the choo-choo, Was the criminal escorted, And lest boys both white and goodly. Should want to play a noisy tom-tom, Should want to smoke a smelly peace-pipe. Never back to this our college, Came again young Jimmiehaha. THE EVOLUTION OF EVANGELINE One quiet afternoon while a certain illustrious college was peacefully carrying on its half holiday routine of games and other mental relaxation, a deafening, ear-splitting series of crashes caused a general cessation of all movement in or about the astounded insti- tution. Even the detention class stopped and stood with rifles at their shoulders, waiting for the worst. Strong students paled, while the weaker simply fainted. Thoughts of invasion crossed peoples minds, conjured up by that staccato succession of bangs and crashes which sounded like two modern pom-pom guns firing at full speed.

Page 32 text:

THE ASHBURIAN Soon he grew to love the masters, Did his homezvork, did his quarters, Did his Physics, did his Latin, Even did his Ancient History, Clothed himself just as the rules say, Knew the time of every roll-call. But one habit of the Redskins, Found he very hard to give up. Found he could not altogether Leave alone his pipe and tom-tom. In the nights after lights out, Through the school were heard strange noises With frequent repetitions And with wild reverberations. While our noses were offended With a smell like burning rubber. Even worse than any Sixth Form In the lab. could manufacture. Of the cause of this disturbance Not one master had a glimmer. Perhaps young Pretzel was the culprit, (Young and lissom was he sometime) . Perhaps it was the rats that scamper Even now upon the ash heap. But at last there came from England, Came across the raging waters A detective zvise and owl-eyed. Came to teach the very young boys.

Page 34 text:

30 THE ASHBURIAN In the midst of the uproar a small black thing, giving off clouds of smoke and steam, entered a gate and slowly disappeared behind the school. Those in the building promptly made for the l asement and stood shivering with abject fear and apprehension. Suddenly, with a terrific coughing bang, the noise stopped. For about five seconds there was such absolute silence that the ticking of the Assembly room clock was clearly audible throughout ttie building. Then pandemonium broke loose. ' ' What was it? Where did it come from? Was it an aeroplane or a tank or both ? Slowly, very slowly, the old school recovered, until at length a few of the bolder spirits, notably, the prefects, summoned up enough courage to hunt for some trace of the terror. Nothing, however, was found, save the back yard where a thing which looked like a kicked biscuit box painted black on four wheels had suddenly ap- peared. Imagine the consternation of the wondering students when the thing began to shake and heave and two tin doors opened and a pair of grimy creatures who were at last recognized as two of their schoolmates stood before them ! If Major H. Segrave could have seen the ancient and rusty chassis that finally emerged from beneath the black biscuit box after some days of extraordinary effort on the part of the owners, it is doubtful whether he would have foreseen a powerful rival. In fact it is no exaggeration to say that he would in all probability have preferred his own ' ' Golden Arrow to this nucleus of a road-burner. Time worketh wonders, however, and if, a fortnight later, a resident of the nearby settlement were asked why he or she kept a policeman and six bull-dogs on guard before his or her house night and day, the answer would probably be that a great and grotesque shape was in the habit of tearing along the road as silently as a freight train The next scene is a well known stretch of sand, very smooth and wide, and an enormous concourse of people. At one end is the Golden Arrow, and beside it the challenger, a smaller vehicle stream-lined and painted in the modernist style. The body is yellow with purple stripes and green spots, while on each side is the name Evangeline in red letters (it being a red- letter day for the owners). At the stern is Evangeline — Montreal in light pink. The two drivers take their places (there is no need to describe the drivers — it would spoil the story) and the racer moves