Armour Institute of Technology - Cycle Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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CYCLE» »1930»» F. U. SMITH FACULTY CLUB OFFICERS F. U. SMITH...............Honorary President C. P. HOLMES............Second Vice-President G. S. ALLISON.......................President J. S. THOMPSON......................Secretary W. HENDRICKS..............First Vice-President D. P. MORETON.......................Treasurer Once more the Cycle approaches its perihelion and another chapter in the his- tory of the Armour Faculty Club steps forward and, with professorial modesty, makes its bow to the world. Calling upon his faithful imagination not to desert him in his hour of need, the club historian marshals his facts, natural and synthetic, with what- ever skill he may. and presents them as the authentic account of the Faculty Club's current contribution to the record of what man has done. He does so with no blushes and no apologies, confident that his work will assay as high a percentage of verity as many other efforts, more dignified and important perhaps, in this branch of the fine arts. During the past year the club has produced considerable evidence tending to prove that the human animal is the most adaptable of all Nature's creatures. Even the timid fauna which infest the Faculty Club have shown remarkable ability to adapt themselves to their surroundings, to develop a protective coating to shield them from an unkind environment, and so to live in comparative contentment under conditions where more sensitive creatures would certainly have given up in despair. Thus, student opinion to the contrary, none of our professors belong in the long list of Nature's mistakes. They survive because yesterday's sound and fury have be- come for them today’s peace and quiet, yesterday's wonder today's commonplace. For five years or more sensitive souls have found the clubrooms almost uninhabi- table, due to the virulent radio discussions which have become, seemingly, endemic to the place. The extremity to which many of the members were reduced may be realized, faintly, from the following circumstances: Professor Gebhardt, trailing a Lucky Strike to its lair, got all tangled up in a screen grid discussion, and just man- aged to escape without buying a new radio. He has repented since with prayer and fasting, and now smokes a pipe. Professor John Barleycorn Snow became in- toxicated with admiration for Professor Sear's erudition, and Professor Nash was Page Twenty-two

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««CYCLE-1930 How about some more illustrated lectures like we got on the boot and shoe industry? W. LINDSAY SUTER Instructor in Architectural Design. JAY EDWIN PETERSEN Instructor in Architectural Design. Scarab. F. T. FOERSTER Instructor in Forge Shop. FLETCHER W. PEARCE Instructor in Civil Engineering CARL H. JOHNSON B.S. Instructor in Fire Protection Engineering. Phi Pi Phi. DOROTHY CORNWELL B.A. Assistant Librarian. ERNEST TUPES Lecturer in Business Law. Tau Beta Pi. A.B.. B.S.. LL.B. B.S.. M.S. ELIZABETH O’LINN SMITH Assistant Librarian. MYRON HENRY UMBREIT A.B.. A.M. Lecturer in Economics. Page Twenty-one

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««CYCLE..1930 G. S. ALLISON painfully injured when an audion discussion exploded. For a time it was feared that Professor Finnegan had suffered permanent damage due to spontaneous com- bustion: Doctor Thompson explained that the trouble was caused by the low fre- quency of the radio discussion, which produced much heat but very little light. Happily these sad cases now occur no more. True, the battle still rages, perhaps with less fury than before, but the innocent bysitter is protected from injury. All have developed a case-hardened exterior against which the cacophony impinges harmlessly. Professor Schommer. with his usual passion for exact justice, insisted that the tireless talkers should have had the cyanide instead of all the other mem- bers. but his prescription called for an entirely different method of administering it. At all events comparative peace now reigns and Professor Perry, encased in his bullet-proof shell, peruses his favorite week-end journal in complete serenity. Early in the present year, Mr. Peterson, for no reason whatever except an in- herent agitating proclivity and a general distrust of professors, began to campaign for a business administration in the club. His platform was: A business man for president and a Scotchman for treasurer. Mr. Peterson, skillful politician that he is. conducted his campaign so successfully that Mr. Allison was chosen for president and Professor Moreton for treasurer. Now there is no doubt that the president conforms in every particular to the platform on which he was elected, but how about the treasurer? From long acquaintance with him the club historian does not hesitate to affirm that, with the exception of the insignificant detail that he was born in Ohio. Professor Moreton qualifies in every way as an excellent Scotchman, and a fellow countryman herewith salutes him. True to his racial characteristics, the new treasurer sent out bills for dues the day after his election. Historians, perhaps, should never prophesy, but philosophers may. Inasmuch as philosophy is the present historian's avocation, a prediction may be ventured as to the future of the Faculty Club. Radio has now become a recognized part of the life of the modern man. as much so as the automobile in his garage or the steam radiator in his home. Wonderful as its future developments may be, it is likely that even professors will be able to retain their equilibrium. If so, the club mem- bers may look forward to many peaceful hours together, under the efficient manage- ment of their business administration. Page Twenty-three