Arlington High School - Indian Yearbook (Arlington, MA)

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it; THE ARLINGTON HIGH SCHOOL CLARION Frederick P. Rosenbekger, Editor Here he is, girls! Fight for him! Our idea of the perfect hero of A. H. S. He would have: Harold Hamm ' s manly physique. Homer Davis’ shapely feet. Ellsworth Brown’s hands. Tom Taylor’s head (and mentality). Phil Peirce’s profile. Ross Eldridge’s complexion. Arthur Gaskill’s blushing cheeks. Joe Donnelly’s dimples. Dick Thomas’ brown ej’es. Paul Corcoran’s eyebrows. George Lawson’s eye lashes. John Buckley’s mouth. Griff Roberts’ smile. Joe Ennis’ curly locks. Fred Rosenberger’s sunny disposi- tion. Can’t Go to Ball Games Now Teacher (to boy sitting idly in school during writing lesson) : “Henry, why are you not writing?” Henry: “I ain’t got no pen.” Teacher: Where’s your grammar?” Henry: “She ' s dead.” Miss Wakefield : “Savage, when did Columbus discover America ?” Class (in unison) : “1492.” Miss W. — : “Well, how many of us here are Savage?” “Water, water, everywhere,” Sang Silas as he spun. “Caesar’s kind of tough,” said Brutus, Wish I had a gun.” “Alone, alone, all, all, alone,” Cried the merry milk men three, Wish T had some dough,” says Bas- sanio, “Guess I ' ll appeal to John I).” A pound of flesh, a pound of flesh!” The merchant of Venice cried, But ere Noah’s ark hove into sight, Sir Patrick Spens had died. Row ! Row ! Row your boat,” Said Paul Revere, said he, As Samuel Johnson loafed in bed And read Gray’s Elegy. — Charles T. Atwood, ’26. Free Lesson in Malang Jam Take plenty of tired working men and women at about half past five or six in the evening. Mix in a few cranky women, several men trying to live up to their reputation as football players by keeping in constant practice; add many bundles, boxes, and umbrellas; flavor with irregular car service and a long wait, and you have an excellent jam — at Harvard Square Station.

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THE ARLINGTON HIGH SCHOOL CLARION 15 Exrluutgp Column ‘ Who shall dispute what the Review- ers say ? Their word’s sufficient , and to ask a reason In such a state as theirs is down right treason !” The Clarion continues to receive school papers from far and near, new friends and old, and welcomes them all to exchange with us. We hope that in the future they will continue to do so and we earnestly invite their criticisms and comment on our publication. A most Happy and Successful New Year to All! Ruth E. Hopkins, Exchange Editor. We are pleased to receive the follow- ing exchanges : The Tauntonian, Taunton High School, Mass. We like your paper very much as it is most complete in its news editorials and stories. How about some Class Notes? Lynn Classical Gazette L. C. H. S., Mass. Your Graduation Number was nothing short of wonderful. Your cover design, cuts, and cartoons speak for themselves — “good !” The Aegis , Beverly H. S., Mass. Your Literary Department shows promise and the other departments are not far behind. More “Near Jokes” would help. The Bulletin, Watertown H. S. An- other one of those weekly newspapers we admire so much. You certainly have a lively sporting editor. Ex- change again, please. The Spaulding Sentinel, Bane, Yt. Where, oh where are your Class Notes? Make use of the joke material you have at home. Your Alumni Notes, how- ever, are most complete and the won- derful dog on the cover has been ad- mired very much. The Raquet , Portland, Me. Your Lit- erary efforts are excellent — poetry not excepted — but why chop up your stor- ies and sprinkle them all through the ] aper. You might add to your Jokes and Grinds, though “Some Feist” de- serves commendation. The Dial , Brattleboro, Yt. Just one tine paper! Be proud of it! The Record, Mamaroneck, N. Y. We wish this paper every success. It cer- tainly has made a fine beginning. How- ever, don’t forget your Class Notes — or- iginal jokes and amusing incidents about school — for they “make a paper. The Bowdoin Orient, Brunswick, Me. We are interested to receive and read this college paper. The news items are very well written indeed. The Karur, Phillipsburg, N. J. A small paper — because you don’t make enough of your Literary Department. Enlarge it ! Your Humor is excellent, though. Cal] again. Packer Current Items, P. C. I., Brooklyn, N. Y. Your cuts and car- toons are very clever and many of your stories really unusual. The Colby Voice, New London, N. H. An interesting and instructive school publication, but why not more original work by the Students and less “information of interest” about the outside world? The Bulletin, Northeastern Univer- sity, Boston. A fine school — a fine paper! We hope to hear from you of- ten !

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THE ARLINGTON HIGH SCHOOL CLARION 17 | O DR. ROSENBERGER’S O j j • QUESTION BOX • j If any pupils, whose minds are dis- tracted with difficult questions will submit them to Dr. Rosenberger in his office at Room 14, they will he an- swered to the best of his ability. The proof of the pudding is on the vest. I )r. Ali Ben Rosenberger, I. O. U. Ques. Dear Doc: Will you please tell me why Columbus left Spain? Imus Know. . Ans. Why, my dear child, he could not take it with him. Ques. Dear Doc: Where is the Cap- itol of U. S.? Miss Sissippi. Am. They lent it all to Europe. Ques. Dear Doc: What would you advise me to do to rise in the world ? B. Nice. Ans. He who sitteth on a tack is bound to rise. 45 - Ques. Dear Doc: How small is a molecule? I Dontno. Ans. A little smaller than the sand- wiches at the lunch counter. Ques. Dear Doc: Do you know Lin- coln’s Gettysburg address? Yora Sap. Ans. No. I don’t even know his telephone number. Ques. Dear I)oc: What kind of boys go to heaven? Otto B. Shot. Ans. Dead ones. Ques. Dear Doc: Did I do right in seeing “The Miracle?” 1 like anything holy. N. Quisitive. Ans. Yes, your socks show it. Ques. Dear Doc: Why are flivvers like rattlesnakes? “Sis” Pool. Ans. They rattle before they strike. Ques. Dear Doc: I wear a wig. How can I make folks think it is real? Ans. Sprinkle salt on your shoul- der and perhaps they will think it is dandruff. -K ■ ¥r Ques. Dear Doc: Why does Eldridge talk so much? Q. Riosity. Ans. He was vaccinated with a phonograph needle. Mary Sexton : “Have you forgotten the two car checks you owe me?” E. O ' Neil: “Not yet; give me time.” Some of the presents that Santa Claus forgot to leave at the Arlington High School. 1. Lounging chairs in the Library. 2. Ear mufflers for Miss Grey so that we may whisper to our heart ' s content. 3. Some magazines such as “Life,” “Judge,” and College Humor” for the school library. 4. A garage for the many cars and also Fords that cluster about the school. 5. A beauty shop, fully equipped for the “beauties” in our school. 6. A book of excuses for Townsend and Fred Miller in English class so that they won ' t have to tax their brains to think up excuses for not do- ing homelessons or coming back for afternoon session. 7. Megaphones for the monitors, so that all may hear those sweet words, “Single file, please.” 8. Signs in all the rooms pointing to the right door to go out. 0. Elevators for fire-drills and also for those unlucky pupils who live in the attic. 10. Some new ideas for The Clarion. D. Jones, ’27. Hurrah ! I heard some classmates cry “There are no midyears now we hear,” “Take care, my friends,” I cautioned sly, “You’ll lose your heads, I sadly fear.” — Edith Chamberlain.