Appalachian High School - Laurel Yearbook (Boone, NC)

Page 30 text:

Prophecy There | was, floating arond in space 10,000 feet above the earth, when suddenly a bird dog flew by, a rubber band struck up “Dixie,” a little man oared by in a row-boat, and something made me think of my Senior Class. By this time, Pat Aldridge, who founded and is president of the INTRA-PLANETARY BABY- SITTING AGENCY is doing a thriving business with the parents on Mars. Two years after graduation, Kermit Ashley won the National A.A.U. Wrestling Champion- ship, and is now managing the “Four Wey Sisters,’ world famous girl wrestling team. Collis Austin is now sound effects man for “Elsie, the Borden Cow Show” on WATA, which now is the Mutual Broadcasting System. Inci- dentally, for a good case of nostalgic pathos, tune in every third Wednesday evening for Beth Eggers singing “That Old Gang of Mine,” accompanied by Betty Sue Norris and her one- woman orchestra, consisting of a piano, flute, and fourteen magic fiddles. Lucille Cox and Joan Winebarger are literally setting Paris on fire as two of the top dancers in the “Folies-Bergeres.” They live on the left bank of the Seine with their little poodle, Fifi. Their next-door neighbor is Robert Dotson, who has been studying art in gay Paree since 1955 and is now a world-famous artist in the abstract. Joan Brookshire has been leading the Navy Band for several decades and she is really giving the Admirals a fit! IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS, Jim Brown and Bob Ray are now managing the A.A.A. (Aho Athletic Association.) Jim Idol, “The Deep Gap Flash,” still holds the Olympic Track Title and insists on breaking his own record every year. Jimmy Cline is the nation’s top jockey, having ridden the great horse, “Mackie-doo,” namesake for his owner, Mac Wellborn, to victory, time after time. Charles Taylor has turned his fifteen sons into a dynamic football team which is unde- feated, to date. Joy Brown won the part of Billie Dawn in “Born Yesterday,” previously done by Judy Holliday, and is giving inspiring performances in the illegitimate theatre. Clara Carlton and Evelyn Haynes are top- notch saleswomen at Saks Fifth Avenue. They got their experience in the “Rec. Room.” A new shock-absorbent drum head has been patented by Connie Casey; while in the field of Chemistry, Dick Lavendar has introduced his new “liquid wood” and sells it in bottles by the gross. Mildred Jones, Mary Clawson, and Lillie Lyons joined forces to revise Gregg’s Revised Short- hand Method. Jane Rivers and Armfield Coffey, Democratic and Republican National Committee Chairmen, respectively, killed themselves recently when James Phillips, Communist candidate won the presidency. FLASH—Martha Colvard and Jeanette Cooke, co-owner of the great chain of Crest Stores won their law suit against Don Miller and Charles Winkler, owners of the new, improved Bark. It seems that the girls complained of the un- pleasant odors being sent this way by the Blowing Rock, which were spoiling the refined atmosphere of their dime store. Yvonne Bodenheimer and Mary Jon Lanning are the new ambassadresses to Russia, and they have frequent conferences with Mrs. Joe Stalin. Polly Anne Cox is Washington’s leading socialite and at her famous parties are often seen Senator James McKinney, Congressman Albert Greene, and Secretary of State Melvin Greene. Nina Mae Culler and Mary Nell Greer have revolutionized the dressmaking industry by inventing a new, supersonic sewing machine. Betty Jean Edminsten, having been swept off the west coast by a Florida hurricane and having landed on a remote South Pacific island, daily feeds the whales on Gene Honeycutt’s addition to the dieting standards, “Tasty Tidbits for Tiny Tadpoles.”

Page 29 text:

|, Shirley Lingerfelt, do hereby will and be- queath my blond hair to Frank Coffey. |, Donald Lyons, do hereby will and bequeath my brothers to Betty Ann Hagaman. I, Lillie Lyons, do hereby will and bequeath my cackle to the hens. |, Patsy McGuire, do hereby will and bequeath the good times I’ve had at A.H.S. to Ruby Lee Hartley. |, James McKinney, do hereby will and be- queath my bus to Jason Cook. |, Don Miller, do hereby will and bequeath my F.F.A. experiences to the agriculture depart- ment. I, Pauline Miller, do hereby will and bequeath my lovable manner to all the other sweet girls at A.H.S. |, Sara Miller, do hereby will and bequeath my ability to get along with others to Bobby Barnes. |, Harbin Moretz, do hereby will and bequeath my physique to Billy Lyons. |, Sylvia Moretz, do hereby will and bequeath my quietness to Mildred Lewis. |, Betty Sue Norris, do hereby will and bequeath my flute to Rebecca Bingham. |, Geneva Norris, do hereby will and bequeath my sweet smile to Mrs. Daugherty. |, John Norris, do hereby will and bequeath my red hair to Johnny Ray. |, Nancy Jane Norris, do hereby will and bequeath my demure personality to Dean Critcher. |, Clara Parlier, do hereby will and bequeath my shorthand notes to Mr. Gregg. |, James Phillips, do hereby will and bequeath my revisions of Einstein’s Theories of Evolution fost aC. Lripp. |, Bob Ray, do hereby will and bequeath my basketball uniform to S. G. Tugman. |, Jane Rivers, do hereby will and bequeath the equator to Mr. Rand-McNally. |, Shirley Sherrill, do hereby will and bequeath my medulla oblongota to the Medical Museum in Washington. |, Corinna Shull, do hereby will and bequeath my nimble feet to Gene Kelly. |, Bill Talbert, do hereby will and bequeath my fatal charm to Harold Wayne Gentry. |, Anna Mae Taylor, do hereby will and bequeath my favorite class, Chemistry, to the Bunsen Burner. |, Charles Taylor, do hereby will and bequeath my “educated toe” to “Pee Dab.” |, Clara Teague, do will and bequeath my job in the office to anyone who is fool enough to take Work Experience. |, Peggy Joyce Teague, do hereby will and bequeath my neat appearance to Pauline Green. |, Ted Townsend, do hereby will and bequeath my field trips in F.F.A. to anyone who is as fond of the “Blue Goose” as | am. |, James Vannoy do hereby will and bequeath my gas station to the Standard Oil Co. |, Margaret Watson, do hereby will and bequeath my little Ford to no one!!! | like it myself!!! |, Nina R. Watson, do hereby will and be- queath my pretty hair to Rita Hayworth. |, Joan Wellborn, do hereby will and bequeath my quiet voice to Betty Ann Edminsten. |, Mack Wellborn, do hereby will and be- queath my ability to stay away from women to my younger brother, J. W. |, Barbara Winebarger, do hereby will and bequeath my love for Senior Phys. Ed. to the rising Senior girls. |, Joan Winebarger, do hereby will and bequeath my love of the U. S. Army to Uncle Sam. |, Charles Winkler, do hereby will and be- queath my ability to diagram sentences to the English Dept. of A.H.S. I, Nancy Winkler, do hereby will and bequeath my diamond to Helen Hollars. Article II To the Junior Class, we leave our front-row Chapel seats. Article III To the Sophomores, we leave our numerous tardies. Article IV To the Freshmen, we leave the “Smoking Rock” and all of our permits. Article V To the Faculty, we leave the satisfaction of knowing that they’ve had the most talented and brilliant students ever to pass through the portals of our dear ol’ Alma Mater.

Page 31 text:

Mary Lee Edminsten is the new boys’ basket- ball coach at A.S.T.C. Jime Graham, a millionairess interior decora- tor, now has a thriving business, most of her profits coming from an annual remodeling of the Taj Mahal and the White House. Patsy McGuire finally married “Besse,” and she is now busy raising a new brand of Mongolian Idiots. The nation’s leading novelist is Sevilla Gold. Her latest best-seller a book on good grooming. Guy Hunt has replaced Al Capp in the world of cartooning and is proclaimed the greatest in his field. Bill Hunter has just bought Florida, and we hear that he’s trying to give it back to the Spaniards. Guess what!! Phyllis Johnson, the new head matron of the girls’ dorm at A.S.T.C., is the most lenient yet..... she lets the girls stay out until the scandelous hour of 10:14!!!! Mayview Manor has recently been purchased by Bill Jones. Frequently seen dining there are Nancy Winkler, Nancy Jane Norris and Betty Jo Smith, and their husbands. Jean Keplar is Chief-of-Police of Rhode Island —she patrols all the highways every morning. The new co-owners and publishers of ‘Country Gentlemen” are John Norris and Arvil Greene. In case you’ve noticed the new buses which can sprout wings (weather permitting) it’s all due to J. E. Greene, who now owns the Bird Dog Bus Corporation. Faye Greene's latest record, “Let Ol’ Mother Nature Have Her Way,” has just sold two million copies. Ala Hodges, world renowned music critic, proclaims it the greatest record since “Shot-Gun Boogie.” Geneva Norris and Clara Parlier have just stacked up a cool million from their business, the Tidy Didy Diaper Service. Shirley Sherril has just been named the first woman four-star general, largely through her explanations of various military tactics. Tarzan has had a new mate in the movie serial for years. It’s Corinna Shull and she’s the biggest box-office attraction since “Bitter Rice.” The literary world has plumb forgot Shake- speare’s Romeo since Bill Talbert hit the stage. He’s the greatest lover yet! The newest rage on color TV is Nina Ruth Watson. That red hair really goes over great. Peggy Klutz, Howard Hughes’ l atest discovery, has made thirteen movies in the past fourteen weeks. Wedding bells are ringing for the fourteenth time for Shirley Lingerfelt, the new “Dagmar” of stage and screen. Pauline Miller and Sylvia Moretz are now two very efficient secretaries to two Wall Street brokers. Sara Miller, who was always diplomatic in her high school days, has been named mediator between the A.F.L. and the C.I.O. Harbin Moretz has, for some years been Commander-in-chief of the Universal Military Training Program. Anna Mae Taylor and Barbara Winebarger went broke last week when their dandelion crop failed. James Vannoy and Ted Townsend have taken option on their flower-growing business and are going to try their luck at alfalfa. Clara Teague and her missionary husband have converted a million infidels to date. Peggy Teague is now a brilliant concert pianist. She gives nightly concerts at Carnegie Hall. Margret Watson is commissioner of Motor Vehicles and on the side helps manage Joan Welborn’s fleet of race cars. Helen Hardin is now managing the State Farm, and her motto is: “Better bulls for Bernard,” (and we don’t mean Baruch!) Don‘t laugh—it may happen to you!!!