Anson Academy - Anchor Yearbook (North Anson, ME)

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Mr. Iones piled in beside the salesman. He grabbed the steering wheel and said, Get up, but nothing happened. Mr. Iones looked angrily at the salesman and said, What kind of a thing is this anyway? lt's as balky as a mule. The salesman then showed him how to make it go. Mr. Iones put his foot on the starter and started the noisy contraption, then he pushed the foot peddles and off they went, but not down the road. They took off across the Field over rock piles and headed for Ned VVhite's pig pen. lust before they hit the pen the salesman tried to jump and leave it, but he caught his pant leg on the back fender and went dragging along behind, right through the mud and over the rocks. ' Half the time Mr. Iones was sitting on the seat and the other half in the air. They were now headed across Ben Taylor's pasture toward Ben's hen house with the sales- man still dragging behind. In a few moments hens were Hying in all directions, trying to get out of Mr. Iones' way before he went through the hen house like a tornado. The last anyone saw of them they were out in the desert still going with the salesman drag- ging behind and the front covered with hen feathers, lumber, and every other thing you can think of. A year later there were still ads in the daily papers asking for a new husband for Mrs. Iones, and another ad for a new salesman for the Ford Co. Eldon McLean '48 Page Thirty

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The maid she left the soldier, At the corner of the street. And went marching, marching onward, With the policeman on his beat. The little wooden soldier Watched them from the place 'he stood, Do you think he felt dejected? No, his heart was made of wood. Mary Peters '51 A TRUE INCIDENT One night I missed the school bus, so I had to go downstreet and wait for the Maine Cen- tral bus. As I was standing on the corner, who should come along but Iimmy, a classmate. After discussing the weather, he said that he had heard a true story that he would like to re- late to me. I told him that I was all ears. This was his true incident as he drawled it: Well, once there was a dry farmer who lived in the Southwest. This farmer claimed that his country was very likely the hottest place on earth, even hotter than Death Valley or any desert. It was so hot that he could work for only a few minutes at a time before he'd have to quit and plunge into a swimming pool that he'd made in the cellar under his house. Even then, he had to be careful that the water was ice cold or he'd scald himself to death because his body temperature was so high. One day it was so unbearably hot that he had grave misgivings about going out to har- vest some corn. However, looking out the win- dow, and seeing the rows of ripe corn, he just couldn't afford not to go out and pick the ears for they'd only die on the stalk if he didn't do it. With this in mind, he harnessed his team of faithful horses, hitched them to the wagon, and started off into the corn Held. lust this short jaunt nearly 'exhausted ' him. My! What heat! Yet, he was determined to work as long as he possibly could before pausing for his cold water dip. Goodnessl What was happening now? As fast as he threw the ears of corn into the wagon, they began to pop because of the intense heat of Ol' Sol. Soon the entire field was showered with dancing white popcorn. Suddenly, he noticed that his horses were no longer following along beside him as he worked down through the rows. Where were they? He whirled around and there they were -lying on the ground before the wagon. As the popcorn continued to pelt down from above, the farmer raced 'double quick' back to the stricken animals. To his utter hor- ror and amazement, he found that they were ice cold. Flabbergasted, he bounded toward the house where he telephoned the veterinarian. Upon completing his examination, the vet- erinarian said that he didn't know what to make of it. Then, he noticed the popcorn lying all over the field and asked what it was. The farmer explained that he was shucking corn when the terrible heat started it a poppin'. Upon hearing this, the 'vet' shook his head and said, 'Yep, that's the answer: Those horses saw all that popcorn flying around and thought it was a snowstorm. So what did they do? They convinced themselves that it was a blizzard and then, they just up and froze to death., lust then, the bus pulled in. As I dived off the sidewalk, lim tossed this parting shot over his shoulder: Imagine it, I told that true story at the Liars' Club last night and walked off with the first prize. Hilda Walker '48 AN AFTERNOON RIDE One day in late fall around 1924, lim Iones' father ordered one of those new fang dangled things called a Model T Ford, that had just come on the market in that town. It was two months before Iim's paw got a paper all covered up with words telling that the blasted thing was ready for use, and a man would fetch it up the next sunny day. The next sunny day the Iones place was crawling with neighbors from miles around waiting for the sacred thing to come. At about noon they could see a huge cloud of steam rising from some queer looking contraption coming around the bend at the foot of the hill. Surely enough, there it was, coming wide open, and roaring like a lion. When it went through the gate at the Iones house, all the women started screeching and streaking under trees, and into the house as fast as they could go. The noisy contraption pulled up beside Mr. Iones, and stopped howling. A man got out and told Mr. Iones that he would show him how to drive the thing. Page Twenty-nine

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luv Pete, driving through Portland: Whops, bet- ter stop for this red light. Iohnz Why bother: you have gone through three already. Miss Durgin, explaining the difference be- tween a wolf and a dog: She said that a wolf's rear was lower than its shoulders. Colby Hilton: So is mine. Miss Durgin, telling in English class that if an oflicer hit a buck private he would be broke. Ralph Manzer: He must have hit him pretty hard. Eldon: Why did the moron take his knee cap 05 Betty: I don't know. Why? Eldon: To see if there was any beer in the joint. P Gene: How many subjects are you carrying now, Ioe? Ioe: Carrying one and dragging three. Tim: What would Christopher Columbus be doing now if he were alive? Dick: Drawing the old age pension. Milton, after waiting an hour for some beef steak which he ordered, rose from his seat and 1 JOKES shouted: Knock a horn off that steer and send it out here. Pete, dropping a broken marble table top which made an awful clatter, was suddenly stopped by a waitress, and she said: All right -All right. Pete: lt ain't all right, it needs to be fixed. What did Dick Whitaker say to Skilly on New Year's Eve? Ans.-Hold me up, I am plastered. Ioe, always coming home drunk, was stopped one night at his doorstep by a strange figure. It was his wife in a sheet. She hollered at him and said: Boo, I am the devil. He straightened up and said: Come right in, I married your sister. Skilly: I heard that they were coming after you. Dick: Who? Skilly: Squirrel, they say you're nuts. Eldon making up a poem for English was read in class. It went like this: I had an awl, I stuck it in the wall, That's all, Page Thirty-one