Annie Wright School - Shield Yearbook (Tacoma, WA)

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22 THE HYAK. Erma 1 hat s just what John says. Let me see, you were seventeen when we were at school together, and nineteen years have passed since then. You must be — . Lucy (hastily) — Don ' t try your nerves by arithmetic, Erma; arith- metic is very hard on the nerves. Erma— That ' s just what John says. Jeannette (opening basket and producing a bunch of turnips)— Oh, Lucy, I nearly forgot. These turnips were raised on very scientific princi- ples. They grew in a mixture of coarsely ground clam shells and cla y. I was sure you would like them, for old maids always like turnips. Lucy (sarcastically)— Thank you, very much , my dear Jeannette. Nellie— M y husband, you know, is a physician. He says turnips are so good for the system, especially when eaten raw. Erma— That ' s just what John says. Nellie — We have uncooked turnips and bran mash every morning for breakfast. Uncooked foods, my husband believes, are the best, so for luncheon we have raw potatoes and Hax seed tea, and for dinner, bran mash again, and live fish. Really, a very enjoyable fare. Lucy— I don ' t wonder you are healthy-looking. Nellje — The children think it is the greatest fun catching the fish when they wiggle. Lucy— O h, it must save you a great deal of cooking. Jeanette— Yes, I do not have to cook anything at all for Nell. I just take a little of the bran mash that is fixed for the horses every night and morning. Lucy (aside) — Oh gracious! Horse feed! Edna, why are you gazing so intently out of the window? Edna— I was just looking to see how the weather is. I am always so anxious about my husband ' s ship. Lucy— W hat is the name of it? Edna — The ‘‘Fair Edna,” named after me, you know. Lucy— H ow lovely! Jeannette— We are so dusty, you know the farm wagon has no top. Hiram is going to make a canvass one for it when he gets time. Lucy — Wouldn ' t you like to go upstairs?

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THE HYAK. 21 Greek Architectural Club, for the purpose of introducing Greek Architec- ture and literature among the small villages of the middle west, and then the Darwinian Club—, Lucy— W hat can that be? Alice— I ts aim is to civilize and save the monkeys, from which we are all descended you know. Lucy— How many children have you, Alice? Alice— Alas! none. Lucy— A fit president for a mother ' s club. Alice (continuing) — I am, nevertheless, deeply interested in the new scientific methods of bringing up children. Jeannette— Yes, she taught me how to play creep mousy scientifically with my baby, Hiram Jeremiah Junior, so as to develop both his muscles and his intellect. Edna— Please give me some ideas, for I have six children. Their father, you know, is a deepwater captain, and I have to train them alone. Lucy— I s he then so seldom home? Edna— Y es, almost never, but I have been very successful so far by myself. You couldn’t find nicer boys anywhere than Stephen Abbott Junior and Charles Henry. He was named for his paternal grandmother— grand- father, I mean ! Alice — Have you heard about my new antiseptic willow switches? I brought some to Jeannette, and she likes them very much. Jeannette— Yes, I haven’t had occasion to use them much. But even the best of children are naughty at times. Erma— That’s just what John says. Nellie— I t must be hard, Edna, to have your husband so far away all the time. Edna— O h, yes, when one has six children, and has to be father and mother b( th to them. As a mother, I dose them and caress them, and as a father, I whip them. Every morning and evening I show them a good photograph of their father. So they won’t forget him, you know Erma— Lucy, you must be lonely without a husband. They are such a comfort. You always w ere so interested in men, too. Lucy (severely)— Y ou shouldn ' t judge others by yourself.

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THE HYAK. 23 J ea n n ette — Oh , if we may! Come on girls. (Exeunt Jeannette and Edna.) Lucy— You know the way, I guess. Erma (rises and falters)— Why, Lucy! I have not yet recovered from the fright of those deadful dishpans. Nellie— S he ' s so nervous, poor dear. Lucy— I don’t wonder it frightened her. for they often fall in the night, when a sudden windstrom arises, and I don’t sleep another wink after hearing them. But it’s a splendid burglar alarm, (Jeanette calls from upstairs.) Exuent Erma, Alice and Nellie. SCENE in. Enter Sara alone (excitedly) — Oh Lucy, whom do you wish to see most in the world ? Lucy— I guess any member of the class of naughty six would be wel- come. judging by— Sara— Girls! Girls! Enter Amelia White, Adelia Schoder and Edna Williams. Sara— Oh my dear! 1 am so delighted to see you! You haven’t any of you changed a bit! Here ' s Sara, married to a rich Esquimau, and just the same old Sara! Girls, hasn’t Sara the loveliest home? and (winking) the loveliest husband? Amelia (aside)— Yes, perfectly lovely. Has every window and door in the house open all the time, till we are most frozen to death. Edna — Yes, almost frozen, even if it is June. Deliver me from the Alaska lover, S’il vous plait. Adelia— Oh Edna! Do speak English! Even if you husband is a French poet, you need not always add your little French words. Of course, not that I cannot understand you. Didn ' t I take French of Madame Bonne Sykes? Of course I know what you mean, perfectly, but for the sake of the others, forbear. Amelia— Oh, Lucy! Did you know that while Edna was travelling in France, she met the dearest little French poet? Sara— It was a case of love at first sight, and in less than three months they were married. Just imagine always having someone to quote French poetry to you!