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Page 69 text:
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Gllzxss flgruplpzng TIME: 1970 SETTING: RUSSIA As I was sitting in my office chair doing nothing, I happened to think back to the year of 1960. Yes, that was the year that I was graduated, the year that I de- parted from my classmates. That was a Joyful but sad year for me, because I knew that I might never see my classmates again. After some time of concentration upon the situation of not having seen any of my classmates since the day of graduation, I decided to do something about the problem. That afternoon, immediately after work, I began to gather bulletins and other information that might lead to the whereabouts of my classmates. I found by going to the State Archives that everybody who had been graduated from Angier in the year 1960 was now living in Moscow, Russia, whereupon I promptly made reservations on Crowden's Mossy Missile for that mysterious city. Exactly twenty minutes after boarding the missile, I arrived in Moscow, real- izing that I knew nothing about where any of my classmates lived. To remedy this sad situation,I raced to the Town Hall for clues to the whe re- abouts of my vagabond classmates. As soon as I stepped inside the Town Hall, whom did I see but LARRY GREGORY, the boss of the hall, and ANNIE FAYE STANLEY, his secretary. Larry greeted me, Derdst viagem! I didn't know if it were a curse or a cordial greeting, so, I politely inquired, Do you still speak English? After a few more words, I grasped his lingo and leamed that all my classmates were employed in various and interesting Jobs--then, being the inquisitive sort,I asked, Larry why did you and our other classmates decide to come to Moscow? He laughingly explained, Our class had a reunion after we had been graduated that spring. You know how we've always loved to do crazy things,entirely different from anybody else--well, someone hit upon the fantastic idea of getting our own Jet and coming here together. Everyone went wild over the plan --We worked out the details, and ROBERT STANCIL was selected to pilot the Jazzy jet on the basis of his record of having broken the sound barrier a hundred times flying backwards. By the way, why weren't you at the class reunion? I quickly said, I was on a business trip to Alaska to make a census of how many Eskimos smoke seals' meat and how many freeze it before cooking. After leaving the Town I-Iall, I began to stroll about the streets of Moscow looking for a hotel in which I could stay while I was in Russia.As I waslonesomely strolling down Narroway, I could faintly visualize a huge 'neon sign which seemed to read, Billy's Beat-nik Palace. I had really worked up an appetite by Just look- ing and walking. Now that I was in this Jazzy little Joint, Ididn't know exactly what I wanted. I finally decided to snatch a big meal, so I slung to a Pine Float and a Bubble Gum Block for dessert. While I was eating the finest meal of my life, two singers appeared on the stage and began to sing 'fThis is the Life for Me. The screamer had annoimced the singers as being The Garner Twins. At once I recognized them as being the Gamer twins that I had gone to school with. Yes, it was really MARTI-IA and MARY GARNER.They told me that they were singing for BILLY WILLIAMS. After the twins had told me that Billy was the manager of the Palace, I went to gaze at him. Billy told me that many of our classmates had important duties to perform in the Beat -nik Palace. He said the waitresses were RETI-IA LAWRENCE, RUTH I-IEDGEPETI-I, JEAN and PAYE I-IOCKADAY, the band director was JIMMY GLASGOW, the drummer, JERRY SMITH, and the pianist, WINTON ADAMS. After having a short chat with Retha, Ruth, Jean, Faye, Jimmy, Jerry, and Winton, I left Billy's place of business and continued my journey down Narroway. NextI saw WANDRA ADAMS, BUDDY BYRD, JUDY FISH, MACK FOWLER, and BILLY RAY DUPREE.They told me that they were on their way to the car race, because JUDITI-I ENNIS, NANCY YOUNG, and GAIL GILES were the star speeders of the night. They also said Judith Ennis was to drive her car through a tremendous blaze of fire, while Nancy Young was to drive her car off a platform 20 feet high, and at the same time was to go over a body of water 40 feet deep. Now to speak of Gail Giles and her mysterious driving skill-Gail was to make her turn with six consecutive turnovers in the air. This had never been done by anyone in the world. I was told after the performance that night that the three star speeders of the race performed their feats well, but they were now all suffering from broken bodies. I then saw JUDY I-IOCKADAY going down the street on a pair of roller skates. Judy told me that she was news reporter and was going to see MYRTLE SMITI-I, FAYE MATTHEWS, and BOBBIE LOU STONE because they were to be the first homo sapiens to ever make an Atom Bomb out of black pepper and gasoline. How? No one knows but Faye, Myrtle, and Bobbie. I wanted to gaze and switch a word or two with them but was afraid to, because Imight be blown to bits by the bomb they were making. I thought it would be best if we switched our words by means of the telephone. Ah! whom did I see next but BENNY GREGORY and LARRY MANQUM. They told me that they were campaign managers for LINDA SAULS and GLORIA STEPHENSON who were running for the office Dictator of Russia.I knew it would be my life's thrill if I could only talk with Russia's Dictator, so I went to talk with Linda and Gloria. I then saw ANDY MCLEOD, and UDELL REARDON, along with RICHARD WEAVER. All three of them were running down the street like mad, and I asked them why they were in such a hurry. They told me that they were on their way to Africa to learn the customs of the Witch Doctor, because MELVIN HUGHES was a great philosopher of Russia and had hired them to go on this mission to Africa. They told me that I could find Melvin over at the Moscow Cemetery trying to learn what makes jello yell. Having chatted with Melvin, Udell, and Richard for a few minutes, Iasked them if they knew where and what BETTY LOU WOOD was doing. They told me she, along with DOAN WOOD,had a job working in the Moscow Memorial Hospital as Dope Tasters. ln their spare time they picked poppies to make opium. I decided to go over to the hospital to see and talk with Doan and Betty Lou. When I got to the hospital, they were both in the laboratory tasting away on opium and other dopes which are harmful to ordinary persons. When I first arrived, they didn't know whether they were coming or going, but I knew they would soon be going if they didn't stop eating so much dope. After I talked with Betty Lou and Doan for sometime, they told me that BARBARA ALTMANand JOAN YOUNG had performed an excellent dance last night in the Moscow Stadium. I asked them what kind of dancing Barbara and Joan did, and Doan told me that Barbara and Joan were classified as being the coolest Ballet Dancers in the entire universe. That is, if there were no new dancers on Pluto. When I had leamed of Joan and Barbara's occupation, I wanted to see them perform. So I did that very night. After the performance that night, I had a long conversation with Joan and Barbara. They told me that they were expecting to fall during the performance,beCause they had already broken their legs four times while learning this particular dance. Wow! What was that? Before I could turn around to see what it was, Iheard wheels squalling and then a big bang. After I did turn around, I saw a motorcycle with two people coming backdown the street toward me.As the cycle came closer, it began to slow down and bythe time it had reached me, it had come to a com- plete stop. Whom did I see on thc motorcycle but MARY ANNE GARDNER and JON HUNT. Mary Anne told me that she owned the famous Moonset Hotel of Russia, and she hired Jon Hunt as her chauffeur. Mary Anne said that she had wanted Jon to drive a tricycle instead of a motor- cycle, but Jon seemed to dislike three-wheel vehicles so much that she didn't in- sist on Jon's driving a tricycle. Iasked Jon why he was driving sofast whenhe first passed by.He told me that he and Mary Anne were on their way to the Russian Institute to enlarge their vocabu- lary in the Russian lingo. Russizi! I exclaimed. Mary Anne said, Russia now has the best Russian teacher it has ever had , be- fore I could ask her who the teacher was, she had said that BILLY GREGORY, our former classmate,owned the Russian Institute and was also the dean of the Institute . I thought it would be nice if I could get to talk with Billy, so, I asked Mary Anne and Jon if I could ride out to the Institute with them. Upon our arrival at the Institute, I first sw Billy and--and-ah! it's COY LEE BROADWELL. Billy and Coy were discussing a business problem-whether or not they should invest their life's savings in a wine fermentator to place in the In- stitute cafeteria, and whether the fermentator would be profitable to them both. As I was about to leave the Institute, I saw JUDITH MOORE running down the hall screaming, I-Ielp! Help! I asked Judy what in the world was wrong. She told me that she was the biology teacher in the Institute and that one of her students was trying to put a pickled hog down her back. Upon leaving the Institute after talking with Judy, Icalled for a taxi to take me back to the hotel in which I was staying. Whom could the Jet Line Cab Company send to drive me back to the hotel but TOMMY DUPREE. Yes, it was good old Tommy, one of my dear classmates. As Tommy and I were riding along our merry way, there was a News Bulletin that blasted out on the radio of the taxi. The bulletin went something like this. Attention all friends! June Bug has just arrived in town: Yes,dear friends,our June Bug is home once again : I asked Tommy what kind of bug this was, Is it harmful to man? Tommy told me that June Bug wasn't an insect at all, but was JUNE HEDGEPETH our former classmate. Tommy told me that.June had been in Spain for the past three months,leaming new tricks and stunts about Bull Fighting, and that she was to perform tonight to win as the World's Champion Bull Fighter. Tommy and I agreed on going to see June perform that night. After the performance, I pushed my way through the crowd so that I might get to congratulate June on her excellent fighting. After I had congratulated June, I started chatting with her about the good old school days,but,unfortunately,I didn't get to talk with June very long because of a ferocious bull. The next thing I knew I had been placed once again in the grandstand. This was a knock out for me, because I saw more than just stars. I saw a plane ticket which would scoot me back to the States. The only thing wrong with the plane ticket was that I had no intentions of going back to America, because I wanted to share the exciting Russian life with my classmates. So I did just that! 1 ji 65
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Page 70 text:
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arshzxls 1959 BETTY LOU WOOD 0 NANCY YOUNG JUDY HOCKADAY chief BILLY WILLIAMS JUDY ENNIS Chief COY LEE BROADWELL FAYE MATTHEWS WANDRA ADAMS
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