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Page 33 text:
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The Senior Dictionary Abnormal—One who gets grades over ninety-five. Accident—That which happens when a question is answered. Adult—A Senior. Bath tub—Freshman bathing beach. Bean soup—Brain food. Bell—The crack of doom. Biscuit—A bride’s despair. Bonbon—Peace offering for married people. Book—A reciprocal for notes. Campus—Permanent residence of malefactors. Card—A piece of pasteboard containing more information than an encyclopedia. Check—The ship that never came in. Classroom—A place to learn to sleep with eyes wide open. Council—A thorn in the flesh. Credit—A mark of appreciation given by teachers for work they believe you have done. Degree—A handicap placed on college students as they leave school. Desk—A place to rest the feet. Ear-training—That which is developed by listening for the nightwatchman. Emerald—The Freshman’s birth-stone. Final Exams—The professors’ revenge. Fire Escape—A friend in need. Flag—A piece of flannel full of holes. Fountain—Center of discussion. Freshman—An unsophisticated, egotistical biped of the Genus Amphibia (Tadpole). Greek—Agony. Legend—A story beginning, Why, I thought you assigned—.’’ Light Switch—That which is manipulated at the approach of the nightwatchman. Lobby—Gossip exchange. Love-—A general weakened and rundown condition of the system. Mailman—Bus driver. Money—The unknown quantity. Music—Any sound that issues from Charles Kissel’s room. Navy—A place where beans are grown. Radiator—An article used to decorate rooms and to create the impression that the room is being heated. Riot—That which transpires before the bulletin board when a notice appears, Prof. - will not meet his classes today. Salesmanship—Manipulating the Barter System. Secret—Something that must not be told until you meet the next person. Second Story Man—A Senior getting in after ten-thirty. Shock—That experienced by a Professor when a question is properly answered Stairway—Parking place. Term—A sentence served by students, professors, and convicts. Umbrella—Something never seen after lent. Wreck—A house after a visit by upperclassmen.
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Page 32 text:
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To Be or Not To Be A few years ago it so happened that I was traveling in Greece. I had read a great deal in history concerning the Oracle at Delphi; so I decided that a trip to Greece would be incomplete without visiting that historic spot. A feeling of awe came over me as I approached the spot where the destinies of many nations had been sealed. Of course I also had a feeling akin to pity for the superstitious people who staked their lives on the words of this oracle. At the door to the temple, I was met by some curio sellers and among the things offered for sale, was some incense to be burned in the censer that still hung from the tripod as it has done for thousands of years. I purchased some for the mere novelty of the thing and poured the incense into the censer and lighted it. As the smoke began to ascend, I was struck almost dumb with amazement as a voice proceeded from the smoke and said to me, Ask what you will, and it shall be answered.” Quickly recovering myself, I thought of my future classmates in college. In a trembling voice I asked; Who will be in the graduating class of Anderson College and Theological Seminary in the year 1933, and what does the future hold for each of them ?” The voice of the Oracle began to speak slowly and I quickly jotted down the an¬ swer in shorthand. Betty Truman will become the first woman president of the National City Bank as the result of her financial experience as treasurer of the Anderson College Athletic Association. Arthur Kinzer will spend his life in establishing singing schools throughout the south. Gabriel Dixon will become a noted missionary to the Eskimos. Laude Hays will become editor of Physical Culture Magazine. Melvin Miller will become a model for Arrow Collar advertisements. Elmer Yerden will become a second Billy Sunday. Ruth Dayton will edit the Who’s Who for I960.” Max Gaulke will become a big game hunter in Alaska. Alvina Koglin will put on Civic Music Association programs. Grace Torgerson will startle the world with her fiery lectures on Technocracy. Mazie DeArmond will write a Dictionary from the definitions she collected in Homiletics. Louis Turner will become the International President of the Student Volunteers. Blanche Seasholtz will discover and teach the outstanding pianist of the present age. Paul Froehlich will arouse the scienti fic world by working out a scheme for making a Century plant bloom every six months. Bert James will publish a series of volumes of travel lectures, similar to Stoddard’s Lectures. Earl Rawlings, at the age of seventy-five, will be considered a greater thinker than Einstein ever was. Grace Tubbs will become matron of an orphans’ home.” Here the voice ceased, the smoke no longer rose from the censer. I placed more incense in the censer, but to no avail. The voice was silent forever.
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