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Page 19 text:
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Gaining Social Prominence kittenl' with his gift of gabv places you in narrow straits of embarrassment by his endless recitations of poetry which you probably never heard ofg never-- theless, clon't give up the shipf' a golden opportu- nity awaits you. Why be a Mud Turtle? A course in English under one of our competent instructors will raise you to lofty heights of social success. Our teachers instruct you in such a way that you become very versed in the art of talking. They ac- quaint you with all the facts overlying ancl under- lying the proper usage of our native tongue. They instruct you in every phase, V even to placing the comma. fAccord- ing to C. H. B., Sec. 9, and due apol- ogies to Mr. McClurel. Imagine your embarrassment if you should misuse your own tonguel Visualize your ab- solute comfort in knowing that each sentence you speak is absolutely cor- rect. Can you sacrifice all success, and possibly prominence, by neglecting this one minute subject? We guarantee absolute success with every four-year course, so stand by until next semester, then grab a pro- gram card and seal your destiny. f,'VX..- Page 13
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Page 18 text:
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Contained Herein: Advice Toward If you speak what might, with due process of imagination, be called English, but ain't,', they was, and she don't, insist upon with- holding your name from the tabloids and keep you on the bottom-most rung of success's ladder, sign English on your program card and join a class in room 113. If you don't remember, or perhaps, never knew, who said 'iEt tu Brute,, then follow the exact directions as prescribed above. Social butterflies may cause the spark of envy to grow more bright in your breast, the parlor Page 12
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Page 20 text:
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'fv 4,4-ff -.,w1,ffAfZ,f M 1' ewwg-Q,.f I Aw Mtn. ff ' f , r 5' The Dates That Satisfy The trials of one poor history student strug- gling to remember when Ceasar did what he shouldnft or clidn't do what he should would fill volumes as readable as any of Mr. Algers. There's good in everything, including history and spinach. So, since you iust must talce it to receive the crown for all your other noble efforts, just close your eyes and choose any history course dating from the day of King Tut,s funeral to the 'grepressionn ,... ,,,,,, W e promise, it's very interesting. Page 14
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