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Page 35 text:
Janice; I wish I could combine Bud and Jimmy’s features.
Selma: What do you mean?
Janice; Jimmy has money and Bud wants to marry me.
Lowell; How can I write the word book when there is only
one "o" in this silly typewriter?
Meredith: (to the waiter) Do you serve crabs in here .
Waiter? Yes we serve anyone, sit down.
When the dinner bell ran? Jerry Combs limped down for dinner.
What is the matter with your foot inquired Mr. Newell?
Jerry: I’ve got a nail in my shoe.
Mr. Newell; Why don’t you take it out?
Jerry; In my dinner hour ?
Philip to Mrs. Scheibe; Where is Donald?
Mrs. Scheibe: If the ice is as thick as he thinks it is he is
skating, but if it is as thin as I think it is he is swimming.
Bob Colpitts: You know Dad my grades are like the ocean.
Mr. Colpitts: What do you mean?
Bob; They are below C level.
Lowell was sniffing and was annoying the woman sitting next to
him very much. "Listen Hd," she said, "Have you a handkerchief"?
"Yes" replied Lowell, "But my mom won’t let me loan it to anyone."
Mr. Lundquist: Jack, what can you tell me about nitrates?
Jack Lohman; All I know about night rates confessed Jack is that
they are cheaper than day rates.
The most dangerous part of a car is the nut that holds the
steering wheel. Dedicated to Ronnie Matheny.
I know a woman who is so fond of vegetables that she married
a fighter with cauliflower ears. To Barbara and Jerry.
Two quarter wits met. One said, "Yesterday I took a girl to
tea. I paid for that. Then I took her to dinner, and I paid for
that. Then I took her to a night club and I paid for that.
Do you think I should have kissed her good night?
No, declared the other quarter wit, I think you did enough for
her. To Vic and Dean Forgey.
Mrs. Taplin phoned the police station. "Will you please send
an officer immediately? she pleaded." There is a bad salesman
sitting in the tree teasing the dog.
Page 34 text:
1. Clayton and Barbara at Prom. Z. Smile pretty, Jack. 3. May I have the next one uah?
4. Dick and Donna. 5. Dean and Jack, watch the birdie. 6. Everyone is having fun.
7. Coach and Dutch. 8. Jerry and Rose. 9. Ronnie, are you really workin’ ?
Page 36 text:
Bud Ray had been away from home for over a year when he met an old
friend, Dean Miller, who said, “Are you and Janice married yet?"
“No,” confessed Bud, “The whole year I was away I wrote a letter of
proposal every day. She saw so much of the postman she married him.”
Ronnie came into a barber shop, “How much do you charge for a
haircut?" he asked."$.50” replied the barber. “How much for a shave?"
“10 cents" replied the barber. “O. K.,“ said Ronnie, “shave my head.”
Dean called Vic at two o'clock in the morning. “I hope I haven’t
disturbed you”, said Dean. “Oh, no," replied Vic, “I had to get up to
answer the telephone anyway."
In Chemistry class Jack monopolized the class. On the report card Mr,
Lundquist wrote, “Jack is a good student but he talks too much." When
Mr. Bezona signed the report card he wrote underneath. “You should
meet his mother."
Mrs. Newell was mad because her husband spent so much time fishing.
When asked where Mr. Newell could be found she replied, “Just go down
to the bridge and look for a pole with a worm on both ends."
Mr. Lundquist once said some women are like.poorly made photographs,
undeveloped and over exposed.
“Bett, to a salesman, may I try on the dress in the window?”
"Certainly, but I'd rather you would use the dressing room.”
Mrs. Taplin was explaining hybrids to her class. For example if you
cross a horse with a donkey, you get a mule. Now what would happen
if you cross a mule with a cow? "You would get milk with a kick in
it”, shouted Lonnie.
Mr. Newell: “Dean, what are you doing, learning something?”
Dean Forgey: “No sir, just listening to you.”
A kind-hearted lady, seeing a little boy struggling to reach a doorbell,
went over and rang it for him. “Now what, little man?" she said. The
little boy replies-“Run like hell, lady, that’s what I’, going to do.”
As a man sees it: A man starts chasing a woman and the first thing
he knows she runs him into a corner and catches him.
So long, for awhile. For longer, you hope. You read other stuff, now,
while I read this dope.
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